Last night, on my way to dinner, I received a text from the Elizabeth Warren campaign. I’ve received many as California heads toward its Super Tuesday primary vote. This time I decided to engage. Unlike Donald Trump’s perfect phone call, you really can read this transcript, in its entirety:
- My administration will not hire any current lobbyists.
- My administration will not hire employees of for-profit federal contractors, unless I personally review the situation and decide it is in the national interest.
- My administration will not hire executives of companies that break federal law or are under investigation unless six years have passed since the conclusion of the investigation or enforcement action.
- My administration will not hire any person who receives a “golden parachute” from their employer.
- To prevent conflicts of interest, officials in my administration will have to divest from any individual stock, bond, or other investment that federal ethics officials determine may be directly influenced by the actions of the employee’s agency.
- Senior officials in my administration will be required to divest from all complex investments – including individual stocks and bonds, as well as commercial real estate and privately-owned or closely-held businesses.
- Senior officials must also commit to divesting any interests in family trusts if ethics officials determine that an asset belonging to the trust might pose a conflict of interest.
It was in impressive list, with even more bullet points and specific proposals on the site. A nice dose of determinism and detail, and a respite from the glib ad pitches on the 24/7s.
But not one word in the entire screed about how to evict a squatter (literally) who refuses your notices of eviction. Whatever the volunteer thought Warren’s plan contained, it was not on Liz’s official website.
So I Googled it myself, with the following question: “What does the Constitution say about forcibly removing a sitting president?”
Turns out, the answer was as frightening as the question. The best I could find was a section of the 25th Amendment, which has become a chant of sorts among Never Trumpers, as its the only Amendment that even mildly addresses the issue when impeachment fails. Turns out that’s a red herring too.
Under the 25th Amendment’s fourth stipulation, it would only take 14 people to depose the president — Vice President Mike Pence and 13 of Trump’s 24 Cabinet members.
Section IV of the amendment reads:
“Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.”
Translation: We’re screwed.
Look at the wanted poster above. Now spot 13 who would vote against President Pussy Grabber. Then imagine Pence, whose only job is White House wallpaper, leading that Gang of 13 through the revolt. If you did, please PayPal $100 to this site for your very own piece of the Brooklyn Bridge.
The truth is, the framers of the Constitution never envisioned that a man who hated his government winning election its highest office. Just as Catholics likely don’t have policy for removing a Pope who finger diddles little children (shit, they don’t have one for priests).
That’s the problem with genuflecting to any aged text. Times will change. Type will not.
Yet, here we are. We’ve reached the point, with Trump’s transgressions in office, that he could, at least technically, lose a presidential election. He certainly could lose the popular vote, as he’s only the fifth president (after Adams, Hayes, Harrison and Bush II, all Republican) to take office on a technicality, the electoral college.
But even should he lose the electoral vote as well, who, exactly, leads the eviction? How do we respond when he contests the results and claims, as we know he would, that millions of illegal immigrants voted against him? Or that the Russians meddled, as they already are? And who would senators want as president during the appeals process? How would a Trump-weighted Supreme Court vote when it inevitable reached their desks?
There’s good reason to expect this scenario, beyond Trump’s toxic narcissism: The moment Trump leaves office, he becomes a civilian. A sue-able, arrest-able civilian. Should that day ever arrive, there must be a miles-long line of lawmakers and law enforcement brass eager to put bracelets on Trump.
Which is why that day will probably never come. The Giulianis and Dershowitzes of his staff would surely delay a legal decision until fat ass is either dead or dictator. Let’s take it further: Can anyone, wannabe president or casual reader, picture a scenario where Trump loses an election, offers a hand to the victor and says “Good contest, (sir/madam), here are the keys. Don’t forget: You have to jiggle the master bedroom toilet handle.”
So I’ll repeat my question to the polite- but ill-informed Dana. Which candidate is going to offer a real answer, should we in the media ever work up the nerve to ask that question on a debate stage?
My guess is none, perhaps because the presidency itself has become irrelevant.
We know its time for Donnie to go. We also know he won’t.
So perhaps we should start focusing on the office with any real power — the Senate.
It’s time for a new gang of 13.
