Tag Archives: Prince

I Just Saved 15% on My Car Insurance with My Crotch

 

I’ve resigned myself to some things I will never fully fathom: the electoral college; women; Pokemon GO (a videogame that requires you to go outside and walk? That’s the opposite purpose of itself. That’s like a treadmill-powered Twinkie dispenser.).

But I’m having real trouble with this concept, which I guess is more a question:

Why do men pay more for auto insurance than women?

The question seems obvious, and, indeed, insurance companies treat it so, even putting the rationale on their websites: Because men get in more crashes.

Data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that men do 60% of the driving in the U.S. — and are in roughly the same percentage of accidents, the companies note.

My question: Who gives a shit?

Empirical data would also produce (if the study were done) statistics about, for instance, race. What if that study were conducted, and it found that more black motorists were involved in crashes than white? Would State Farm advertise a honky discount?

It’s an absurd notion, but it underscores a real question. If you cannot discriminate based on race and gender in employment, housing, hiring, public transportation and nearly every facet of our lives outside of health insurance, why is it permissible for, say, Geico to do it?

The wrinkle gets one more fold with the times. How are insurance firms handling transgender motorists? If I’m a parent with a 16-year-old boy who just got his driver’s license, it would save me literally thousands to tell State Farm that, you know what, I caught Billy throwing the ball like a sissy. He’s a female driver.

It’s enough to make toilet controversies utterly flushable.

Now for some real answers:

  • The word “Afghanistanism”, which means focusing on problems in distant parts of the world while ignoring local issues, was first used in 1948.
  • Charles Darwin was the first to put wheels on an office chair, creating the modern office chair.
  • The highest accuracy calculations at NASA use just 15 decimals of Pi.
  • The artist formerly known as Prince was obsessed with lavender and that reporters knew he was entering a room: you would smell the lavender.
  • The hum that comes from electricity mains provides forensic scientists with a date and time stamp on audio recordings.
  • Dragonflies can get fat. And when they do, they become less successful at finding a mate.
  • The woman who made cannabis brownies famous by baking and distributing them to AIDS patients was actually named Mary Jane.
  • Dumbo was the first Disney animated feature set in America.
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Electric Word, Life

 

 

RIP, Prince Rogers Nelson (6/7/58-4/21/16)

From Spencer and Anneta’s wedding.

May 24, 2015

Welcome, friends, family, friends of family. Dearly Beloved:

We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.

That line comes courtesy of Prince and Annetta. When I asked the couple what they’d like in their vows, Annetta quipped that the first thing that came to mind was the opening line to Prince’s song, Let’s Go Crazy (which just also happens to be one of Spencer’s life mottos).

But when you think about it, Annetta and Prince have a point. The next line in that song begins “Electric word, life…”

And life is electric. For what are we, but bundles of energy and stardust, as brilliant and abundant as the heavens above?

And in those heavens — scientists say once every 500 years — two stars hurtling through the cosmos will brush by one another. And their gravitational force will commence a circular dance, as each draws nearer the other. And at that moment of contact, the supernova will emit as much energy as every star in the universe, combined.

Seasoned love is like that.

Certainly, new love is a miracle. It’s bold, adventurous, fearless in the leap.

It is also distracted by shiny things, startled by sudden sounds, frozen in rough waters. That’s why it’s called puppy love.

Seasoned love is a more profound and rare phenomenon.

Like those hurtling stars, seasoned love joins two established worlds, already anchoring a solar system of friends and family, work and home.

But true seasoned love makes a choice. A choice to blend planets, share moons and swap shooting stars. If a supernova is one every 500, seasoned love — true seasoned love — has got to be one in a million.

We saw this dawn approach. We heard them say, ‘I’m going on a date.’

Then it was, ‘I liked that. I think we’ll see each other again.’

Then, ‘This could be something.’

We saw their worlds change. Soon, they spoke in the collective. ‘We are taking a trip. We are going on vacation. We are moving in. We are getting married.”

And here we are, to witness their new daybreak.

May we please have the rings?

Much has been made of the symbology of rings. And who are we to question the poets?

But, if you catch them in the right light, you can’t help but notice how much they look like little stars we wear, within reach of our hearts.

Annetta:

Do you choose Spencer?

To be the sun to his shine?

To be the good to his night?

To be the heart to his beat?

Do you choose Spencer to get through this thing called life?

Spencer:

Do you choose Annetta?

To be the sun to her shine?

To be the good to her night?

To be the heart to her beat?

Do you choose Annetta to get through this thing called life?

By the power vested in me by the state of Arkansas — and by the power vested in you by the gravitational force of love — I now pronounce you husband and wife.

(plant a smooch)

Ladies and gentleman:

Spencer and Annetta Tirey

rings

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Electric Word, Life

 

May 24, 2015

Welcome, friends, family, friends of family. Dearly Beloved:

We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.

That line comes courtesy of Prince and Annetta. When I asked the couple what they’d like in their vows, Annetta quipped that the first thing that came to mind was the opening line to Prince’s song, Let’s Go Crazy (which just also happens to be one of Spencer’s life mottos).

But when you think about it, Annetta and Prince have a point. The next line in that song begins “Electric word, life…”

Life is electric. For what are we, but bundles of energy and stardust, as brilliant and abundant as the heavens above?

And in those heavens — scientists say once every 500 years — two stars hurtling through the cosmos will brush by one another. And their gravitational force will commence a circular dance, as each draws nearer the other. And at that moment of contact, the supernova will emit as much energy as every star in the universe, combined.

Seasoned love is like that.

Certainly, new love is a miracle. It’s bold, adventurous, fearless in the leap.

It is also distracted by shiny things, startled by sudden sounds, frozen in rough waters. That’s why it’s called puppy love.

Seasoned love is a more profound and rare phenomenon. 

Like those hurtling stars, seasoned love joins two established worlds, already anchoring a solar system of friends and family, work and home.

But true seasoned love makes a choice. A choice to blend planets, share moons and swap shooting stars. If a supernova is one every 500,  seasoned love — true seasoned love  — has got to be one in a million.

We saw this dawn approach. We heard them  say, ‘I’m going on a date.’

Then it was, ‘I liked that. I think we’ll see each other again.’

Then, ‘This could be something.’

spence and annetta day

We saw their worlds change. Soon, they spoke in the collective. ‘We are taking a trip. We are going on vacation. We are moving in. We are getting married.”

And here we are, to witness their new daybreak.

May we please have the rings?

Much has been made of the symbology of rings. And who are we to question the poets?

But, if you catch them in the right light, you can’t help but notice how much they look like little stars we wear, within reach of our hearts.

Annetta:

Do you choose Spencer?

To be the sun to his shine?

To be the good to his night?

To be the heart to his beat?

Do you choose Spencer to get through this thing called life?

Spencer:

Do you choose Annetta?

To be the sun to her shine?

To be the good to her night?

To be the heart to her beat?

Do you choose Annetta to get through this thing called life?

By the power vested in me by the state of Arkansas — and by the power vested in you by the gravitational force of love — I now pronounce you husband and wife.

(plant a smooch)

Ladies and gentleman:

Spencer and Annetta Tirey

spence and anneta night

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