Tag Archives: election

The Electoral College’s Consolation Prize

Trump loses Wisconsin case while arguing another one
The Supreme bitch-slap, karma style

I’ve yet to hear a cohesive, contemporary justification for the Electoral College. Defenders simply can’t get beyond this bottom-line reality: It creates a popularity contest in which the most popular doesn’t win. That’s like a dog show crowning a gerbil.

So it’s gotta go.

However, that doesn’t mean karma doesn’t occasionally bring a measure of equilibrium to the universe, and we would be wise to occasionally acknowledge that (what are the 24/7s going to do when they don’t have Trump to frighten viewers?). And karma fittingly bit Donald Trump in the ass when he discovered this week that the Electoral College is fucked up.

Consider: Joe Biden beat Trump by a hair’s breadth in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Wisconsin, among many other states. In some cases, by fractions of percentage points.

But look at the Electoral College tally: 308 to 232. Were it not for the all-or-nothing rules of the college, that margin would have been narrowed significantly.

In truth, at least 46% of the nation believes he should be president again. Do proponents of the electoral system still feel they were adequately represented? Because they got shellacked November 5, electorally-speaking.

Remember, George W. had to win only Florida in the college to secure the disputed election in 2000. Trump, though, would have had to win challenges in a half-dozen states. Imagine if the election hinged on just one state again.

How the 2000 Election Results Came Down to a Supreme Court Decision - HISTORY
Remember hanging chads?

So consider it the Electoral College’s consolation prize for progressives, and Irony’s sweet revenge for those accepting gift horses.

But make no mistake: We studied hard and eked out a passing grade from a capricious, illogical professor. It’s time to drop this class.

Letter to a Postal Nation

(Editor’s note: This column isn’t for reading. It’s for stealing, abridging, making your own. Acknowledge your postal carrier. Offer a wave. Put a gift card in the box. It’s the least we can do for our civilian soldiers in uniform.)

Dear U.S. Postal Carrier,

I don’t know anything about you, but I feel you know much about me: Where I get my medications; my mom’s handwriting; the frivolous doo-dads I have no right buying, particularly now.

You don’t, of course, but you see where I’m going. I feel a certain familiarity with you, at least enough to write this note. I feel it’s more than due.

As you know all too well, for months, the president of our great nation said you were not up to the job. That you were too overworked and under-prepared to handle the paperwork of a nation voting from home. He assigned you a boss to try and make it so, stripping you of the very tools to do your job.

And I’ll admit: The seeds of doubt found purchase in the back of my mind. I worried whether my vote would make it to those who tally.

Shame on me. Shame on us.

You proved the fears unfounded, and the president a liar. You not only rose to the challenge, you bitch-slapped the president like a crack whore in debt. You did such an impressive job handling tens of millions of ballots that the president’s last-gasp yelp was to argue that no-goodniks were miscounting the very parcels you delivered.

Somehow, you managed nearly all of this apolitically. It’s as if you knew: Whether you’re Democrat or Republican, every voter wants their voice heard.

As a retired newspaperman, let me apologize that we haven’t praised you in retrospect. We’re Chicken Littles that way: Falling skies are our raison d’etre. And as we swim to the next panic-porn feeding frenzy, you’ll be left with a note on the pillow: “Good job. Now back to the pandemic. And don’t forget the Christmas rush. You did sign up to work overtime for the holidays, right?“

So on behalf of a nation that should be more grateful than it is, let me say: Thank you for your service.

I take that back. I do know a thing or two about postal carriers. I know they’re government workers who don’t take the job because they’re lazy. And I know they don’t take the job for the power or the money.

That alone merits a thank you.

Sincerely,

Scott Bowles

p.s. I’ll try to cut down on the doo-dads.