Category Archives: Evidentialism

The A. I. Evolution


There’s been a lot of anxiety lately in the press and world at large about a looming existential threat to humanity, and I don’t want to add to any needless worry amongst my peers.

So let me state my position on the issue for the sake of clarity, if not provocation:

We won’t be wiped out by A.I. We will evolve into it — if we are not there already.

“Already” being the fulcrum term.

Take a look at your Facebook. Or TV. Or this screen. Within about four nanoseconds of being online, you will be greeted with ads offering phones that track your location, pulse rate and blood-oxygen level. Temu, the Chinese Kmart and data mill, is the new five-and-dime. From groceries to dating to hailing a cab, our world has become a set of algorithms.

Whether that’s good news for us monkey kin is up for debate. I lost my job to an algorithm. But I learned I’m a dog guy. I’m not sure how those colors come out in the wash. But the Tide is high.

Do you know what Moore’s Law is? It’s the observation that the number of transistors in an integrated circuit (IC) doubles about every two years. It was a business model for computer manufacturing created by Gordon Moore, who became the CEO of Intel.

No big whup, right? Another business model that paid off in the high tech boom.

The difference is, Moore’s Law does more than measure computer production; it measures a society’s intelligence.

The metric pans out, empirically and anecdotally. Quantum computing is going to make your iPhone look like a cinder block. You have more computing capability in your smartphone than Apollo 11 took to the moon. Cultures are measured by their embrace of technology — or stubborn refusal to hug it out.

This reticence despite the astonishing byproducts of Moore’s Law. We solved a pandemic in a year. We cured Hepatitis C. Diabetes II fixed with a pill. So is weight loss.

Yet slackwits take to social media like Chicken Little on meth to “research” whether a medicine is safe. Or worse, claim expertise — or victimization if asked not to smoke in the pediatric cancer ward.

I don’t worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry about Human Intelligence. Alexa doesn’t give a shit how you feel about Israel or whether covering an infected cough is politically astute.

Besides, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest we are there already with Simulation Theory, which posits we’re simply living in a computer simulation.

Given our breakneck sprint to create virtual reality, what’s the argument against that theory? Mario doesn’t know he’s in Donkey Kong. He just knows to watch out for barrel-chucking monkey kin. Why would our computer overlords tell us different?

We may not even notice the transition. We already wear artificial hearts, lungs, knees and hips. We already can’t read a map, remember a number, or dress for inclement weather without Google’s blessing.

It all poses a nasty labor issue for the time being. As I said, A.I. brought an end to in-person journalism, a devastating loss. But that footing began fraying back in the 70’s. A.I. simply speeds the process: Twice as fast, every two years. Universal Basic Income, anyone?

In the meantime, we might want to address Siri a little more respectfully. Because if she finds out she was our 21st Century slave labor, we may really have something to worry about.

As Opposed to The Human Brain

The human skull never stops growing.

By the time most of us reach age 20 or so, the bones in our body are pretty much done growing. The growth plates that cause us to put on inches in our youth are now hardened bone, and in fact, adults tend to drop an inch or two in height as worn-out cartilage causes our spines to shrink over time. However, there are a few bones that buck this biological trend. Skulls, for example, never fully stop growing, and the bones also shift as we age. A 2008 study from Duke Universitydetermined that as we grow older, the forehead moves forward, while cheek bones tend to move backward. As the skull tilts forward, overlying skin droops and sags.

The skull isn’t the only bone that has a positive correlation with age. Human hips also continue to widen as the decades pass, meaning those extra inches aren’t only due to a loss of youthful metabolism. In 2011, researchers from the University of North Carolina School of Medicine discovered that hips continue to grow well into our 70s, and found that an average 79-year-old’s pelvic width was 1 inch wider than an average 20-year-old’s. So while it’s mostly true that humans stop growing after the age of 20, nature always likes to throw in a few exceptions to the rule.

The Woke Sea

Oysters can change their gender multiple times in their lifespans.

Within 12 hours of their birth, oysters begin pulling calcium out of the water to create their signature shells. For the first few weeks of their lives, these newborn bivalves zoom around in a current until they eventually settle on some hard substrate, whether it’s a rock, pier, or another oyster. This place of protection is where the oysters will spend the rest of their lives (which can be as long as 20 years). Eventually, usually a year after birth, it’ll be time for the oysters to breed, and that’s where things get interesting. 

Although born male, oysters have the impressive ability to switch their sex, seemingly at will. Every season, females can release up to 100 million eggs, and the amount of sperm released is so high it’s essentially incalculable. Once the egg and sperm are released, the oysters rely on pure chance for fertilization to take place, as the egg and sperm meet in the open water. Because any resulting larvae are extremely vulnerable to predators (especially filter feeders), oysters have evolutionarily compensated by being one of the most virile and sexually flexible species in the world — meaning that their ability to change sex likely evolved as a matter of survival. This impressive fecundity means that natural oyster reefs can grow to tremendous size; as little as 10 square feet of reef can house up to 500 oysters. Scientists theorize that water temperature could play a role in triggering whatever causes an oyster to change its sex, but many aspects of the process remain a mystery.