Monthly Archives: January 2021

The Cacophonous Silence

Facebook and Shopify boot Trump following Capitol siege - MarketWatch

“No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.”

— Section 230 of the Telecommunications Act of 1996.

Shhh, did you hear that?

Me either.

Isn’t it beautiful?

That wonderful audio void comes courtesy of Big Tech, which fulfilled its moral obligation on January 8 by removing the megaphone from the lips of Donald Trump and other unhinged conspiracy theorists — the first time that’s happened since Bob Kahn and Vint Cerf created the internet to share government research data in the 1960’s.

Who actually invented the Internet? - Quora
Vint Cerf, left, and Bob Kahn

A few decades after the internet’s creation came its impenetrable armor: Section 230. The legislation holds that internet platforms like Twitter and Facebook cannot be held legally responsible for defamatory content. While the 26 words of Section 230 have been credited with creating the internet, that’s not true. Cat videos created the internet.

But Section 230 did create fake news.

And removing it would largely solve the problem.

It is that simple. While nothing can prevent a writer from concocting fiction, holding an outlet liable for libel mandates an additional level of caution before publishing. Newspapers have grappled with it for decades: They can’t publish a libelous letter to the editor and skirt prosection. It’s time big tech — Apple, Facebook, Google, Amazon and Microsoft — faced the same scrutiny. They can afford the lawyers.

Twitter must have sensed it was on the hook when it de-platformed Trump and nixed the accounts of more than 100,000 “Stop the Steal” cultists two days after they stormed and graffitied the U.S. Capitol. Since then, Big Tech has also squelched websites like Parler — and thousands of its imbalanced patrons. That’s why your uncle is forwarding less shit.

On Thursday, Politico called the Trump Twitter ban a “priceless gift” to Democrats, and said the move “realigned the political universe and shielded the new president from what surely would have been rabid attacks from his predecessor.”

President Joe Biden smiles

It begs the question: What took Twitter so long? While Trump and his slackwits surely aren’t done braying conspiracy theories and white male grievances, the radio silence is a blissful respite from four years of MAGA programming. In irony no Republican will catch, conservatives were bitten by the rabid pit bull they raised; namely, private enterprise. Twitter is an American success story that would have been a sentinel for Republicans in another era. In this era, it’s just playing the boss in Celebrity Apprentice.

Speaking of which: The great thing about American capitalism is that it demands that anyone, including angry white men, have the same right to a social media platform as anyone else. So launch your Facebook, announce your new party, hold press conferences about your plans to secede. At least it would be honest and would no doubt draw millions. Best of luck, sincerely, because every vote should count.

Parler, The Alt-Right Twitter For Trump Fans, Is Being Taken Down By Apple,  Google & Amazon

The beauty of repealing 230 is that Washington won’t need to bother coming up with a system of implementation. Just name the revision Liable for Libel, and the courts will do the rest. They decide what’s defamatory and libelous, anyway. Simply add Big Tech among the susceptible. When lawsuit money is at stake — Big Tech Lawsuit Money — does anyone doubt that Silicon Valley will discover a system to check accuracy?

For as much as FOX News bellows that conservatives are being censored, the truth is that conservatives simply are not being coddled as they were for four years. After all, the angriest tweeter in America also happened to run the Justice Department and the FCC. Who was going to crack down on him — or his chamber maids?

Big Tech still needs to face a reckoning (and maybe cellular dissolution). Even Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Ted Cruz can agree on that. But at least, for the first time in a half-decade, we can share a common reality as a starting point.

And the reality is this: If you’re on social media, you’re a reporter. If you have an email address, a Facebook login, a Twitter handle, an Instagram account, a cultural following, you’re in the mainstream media.

Time to act like it — or face the consequence of shirking that responsibility.

Brick By Brick

Lego Facts

In honor of National LEGO Day this week, a Factslap column dedicated to the original barefoot buster:

  • The plural of LEGO is LEGO.
  • According to the LEGO Group, the word “LEGO” is not a noun; rather it is an adjective, as in LEGO bricks, LEGO products, LEGO universe, etc.
  • The word “LEGO” is from the first two letters of the Danish words “Leg” and “Godt,” which means “play well.”
  • Ole Kirk Christiansen (1891-1958) created the LEGO Group in 1932 as a way to use old wood from his failed carpentry business. He patented the now famous interlocking LEGO blocks in 1949.
  • Ole Kirk Kristiansen, founder of the LEGO Group, actually didn’t invent LEGO bricks. A British man named Hilary Fisher Page (1904-1957) invented the first bricks, but he died before he could discover that LEGO had “borrowed” his invention.
  • If laid end to end, the number of LEGO bricks sold in one year would reach over 5 times around the globe.
  • There are 86 LEGO bricks for every person on earth.
  • LEGO produces 318 million tires a year, or over 870,000 each day.
  • LEGO sells over 400 million tires each year, which makes LEGO the largest tire manufacturer in the world.
  • There are over 4 hundred billion Lego bricks in the world. Stacked together, they would be 2,386,065 miles tall, which is ten times higher than the moon.
  • One LEGO can bear up to 4,240 Newtons of force, or over 953 pounds.
  • A single LEGO brick can support 375,000 other LEGO bricks before buckling. This means that a person could build a LEGO tower 2.17 miles high before the bottom LEGO brick would begin to break.
  • LEGO bricks are part of a universal system, which means that a piece made in 1958 would fit with a piece made today.

Television in the Time of COVID

Tiger King, The Queen’s Gambit

The pandemic put the movie industry on ice. But it has set TV on fire.

From Tiger King to The Queen’s Gambit, COVID has treated the small screen like royalty. Television viewing nationwide increased for the first time in nine years in 2020. Warner Bros. announced it was turning its 2021 film slate into movies of the week airing on HBO Max (though Warners will still toss flicks to the few theater chains still dog paddling).

That doesn’t mean all was right on the boob tube last year. Sports have lost their competitive zeal, and some game shows simply don’t translate without a live audience.

Here, then, are the TV lab reports from from some iconic shows facing pandemic programming.

Sports Athletics saw some truly dramatic storylines in 2020, including LeBron James becoming the first NBA player to win championships with three teams and the Cleveland Browns winning their first football playoff game since, well, maybe leather.

Baltimore Ravens: Overreaction Monday - Browns Got Lucky, Actually...

But there’s no getting around it: Pro sports are just glamorous scrimmages without crowds. Part of every athletes’ measure is the ability to perform the craft in public. Otherwise, you’re just a musician with agoraphobia; the talent may be there, but you gotta show the guts.

Scripted television Screenplays — particularly dramatic ones — felt as rare as toilet paper last year. Most series simply weren’t (aren’t) ready to reflect a society forced to wear a mask (after all, COVID hides your dimples). The upside is that those who did venture out, like Fargo and Better Call Saul, felt like oases in ash.

Rhea Seehorn and Bob Odenkirk in “Better Call Saul,” the “Breaking Bad” prequel series.
Better Call Saul

Game shows Here’s where TV went manic.

For the sake of reporting I swear! I looked up the opening minuts of The Bachelor on Comcast’s On-Demand. I know it’s been ABC’s (thus Disney’s) shinier mantle piece for a quarter-century, where it has hovered about the top 10.

I don’t know who the bachelor is, I don’t know who Miss Etiquette is. But the series begins with Sweet Polly Purebread announcing to the bachelor, with her hand behind her back: “The pandemic was really hard on me, but I got through the tough times with this,” producing a dildo.

Where to begin? Howbout: Was? Is the pandemic over if you find true love? And what did you want him to do with that? Wouldn’t you have been concerned if, instead of laughing, he’d said, “Oh, thanks! Mine broke!”

Clearly, some shows need to be put into a medically-induced coma until the storm passes.

Bachelor' Premiere: Matt James on Being Distracted by a 'Big Dildo'  (Exclusive) | Entertainment Tonight
Miss Etiquette and The Bachelor

You have to feel for The Price is Right. Sure, Drew Carey looks like he’s about to mail bombs from a woodshed, but they’re trying. But it doesn’t feel the same without your second-cousin Terry shouting at you that you’re paying too much for sandwich bags.

The Price Is Right At Night's Drew Carey Talks COVID-19 Changes, Including  His New Beard - CINEMABLEND
Drew Carey

Some TV hosts seem utterly unfazed by a worldwide plague. Judge Judy may be better in a pandemic. She looks a lot like the New York city judge featured on 60 Minutes because of her straight talk to lawyers and laymen alike. And the show benefits without a courtroom to ooh and ahh at courtroom antics, which Judith Sheindlin always detested, anyway.

Judith Sheindlin and her bailiff, Petri Hawkins Byrd, in 1997, during the first season of ‘‘Judge Judy.’’
Judge Judy and Officer Byrd

Some shows are not only pandemic-proof; they’re people-proof. Battlebots may be a peek into an AI future. If anything, the show drags to a near-standstill when the humans cackle about what’s at stake in the pursuit of the show’s “Giant Nut” championship.

BattleBots crowns a new champion - Nerd Reactor
The Giant Nut

So what does that mean for viewing in ’21? At least on the news front, things are going to get pretty boring. Already, the 24/7s are replaying footage from the Capitol insurrection as if they were seeing Charlie Bit My Finger for the first time. As much as they bitch about inciting unrest, CNN and MSNBC need to examine their stoking insistence to highlight lowlifes. Saul is entering its final season, and Fargo has no plans in place for a fifth season.

But COVID, which has proved to be a pandemic that teaches us what we can live without, has also improved some of the things we hold dear. Phone calls now really are a way to reach out and touch someone. Zoom has strengthened enumerable family relationships. Drive-ins are back. Dog shelters aren’t teeming with the abandoned and abused. Imagine what a hug is going to feel like again.

From surface to soul, COVID has been a human cleansing. If TV is a reflection of — or reaction to — that profound metamorphosis, it will see a new heyday. Just pass on the dildos.