Monthly Archives: April 2017

The Glow of Being New

 

My sister recently rescued a puppy she found injured and barking outside a McDonald’s in Atlanta. I suggested she name him Big Mac. But then I realized: I didn’t know if he was a he.

And after seeing the video, I’m thinking I should have suggested Hamburglar. He bounces with the same mischievous energy. That near-criminal curiosity.

And then there’s that bound, as distinctive as a chromosome. What is it that puppies have? That little leap that seems to come from simply having so much energy the only solution is to jump UPWARD. Regardless of what you call the dance, it’s a step that celebrates life. Perhaps one we should emulate. Perhaps, especially, now.

So, look out, unwitting Ralph’s shoppers. A middle aged man infected by a dog’s exuberance at existing may suddenly bound in the cereal aisle.

No need to call security.

A snausage should do just find.

Now, factslap, bitches:

  • Wealthy ancient Egyptians slept with neck supports rather than pillows to preserve their hairstyles. 
  • The average inmate in Alcatraz read 75-100 books a year.
  • The most disproportionately common physical injury diagnosis in New York is “knee injury.”
  • During the American Civil War, free black woman Mary Bowser took a job as a servant in the Confederate White House and served as a Union spy.
  • Vatican City is one of six countries worldwide that ban abortion completely, even if the mother’s life is in danger.
  • Saint Drogo is the Catholic Church’s patron saint of those whom others find repulsive, unattractive people, cattle, coffee house owners and deaf people.
  • The British Standards Institution has a 5,000 word report on the correct way to make a cup of tea.
  • In Slovakia, using the names Britain or Great Britain instead of the United Kingdom can land you with a €6,600 fine.

 

 

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Life is Full of Questions. Idiots are Full of Answers.

 

Nagging thoughts of the day:

If an ambulance hits you on the way to an emergency, does it stop to render aid or drive on to the first emergency?

If I had a nickel for every time I said ‘If I had a nickel,’ I’d say ‘If I had a nickel’ more.

How can something be ‘New and Improved?’ If it’s new, what is it improving on?

And now, this…

Factslap, bitches:

  • The tiger is the largest wild cat in the world, weighting up to 720 pounds (363 kg), and stretching 6 feet (2 meters) long.
  • Otters have a pouch in their fur to store their favorite rocks.
  • Before fridges were invented, Russians and Finns kept their milk fresh by putting live frogs in it.
  • During mating season, mouse lemur testes swell to be bigger than their brains.

    Grey mouse lemur (Microcebus murinus) on branch in spiny forest at night, Madagascar

  • During the siege of Paris in 1870, all the city’s animals were eaten, including rats, mice, dogs, cats, donkeys, wolves and even an elephant.

    Paris- St. Cloud – zerstoerte Wohn- und Geschaeftshaueser.
    Foto: 1871.

  • Milkshakes originally included alcohol.
  • Hamsters can store half their own weight in food in their cheeks.
  • Suring the Panic of 1893, JP Morgan used $60 million in bonds to bail out the United States government.

 

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