Tag Archives: Flake

Reasoning with Jihadists

 

Image result for funny mueller testifying

 

Bob Mueller’s Congressional testimony has not yet begun, but I can tell you how it will end:

With Dems walking away with squadoosh.

I should know. I’ve been holding Mueller hearings since high school. Only in my case, god is the investigative target, not Donald Trump.

But what Dems can’t seem to accept is that making a case against Trump is exactly like making a case against the lord (sorry, that mass murderer doesn’t deserve capitalization — just like Trump).

You see, it won’t matter what Bob testifies to, regardless of his investigation’s findings, just as it won’t matter what you tell a “believer.” Sure, the evidence of hoax is overwhelming. But GOPers, like evangelicals, believe what they want to hear, not what empirical facts tell them.Image result for funny breitbart

In truth, for Republicans, Trump is god. Don’t believe it? Just YouTube Trump rally videos, particularly as his slackwit crowds chant their version of John 3:16, “Send them back! Send them back!” If that ain’t a contemporary version of speaking in tongues, there ain’t one.  And don’t give me this shit that Republicans love to spew — “I’m a Republican, but I don’t like Trump.” That’s as hypocritical as those who belch “I’m socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.” Yeah? Then why do you support candidates who have helped run the federal deficit to $779 billion and counting?

The pussy-grabber-in-chief will likely win reelection on those hypocrisies alone, to the delight of the right, who dare not blaspheme against his atrocities, from caging toddlers to raping women. Ask Bob Corker or Jeff Flake what reasonable skepticism got them. Or John McCain’s wife.

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The atheist-versus-believer debate will play out in full bloom following the hearing, as MSNBC runs interminably damning clips and FOX holds up its bible, in this case a teleprompter script that chants “No obstruction, no collusion!” Atheists are going to be taken to the woodshed on the power of faith alone. Coming from a family of churchgoers, I can tell you: The woodshed sucks. But just as I had to  accept dismissal and defeat, so too will never Trumpers. The LA Times actually ran an op-ed piece today with the headline “Congress Should Take Mueller’s Testimony as a Call to Action.”

How quaint. As opposed to every other treasonous day in Donnie’s stint on the job?

Instead of fighting low tide, howzabout this: Drop the Mueller questioning, drop impeachment talk  and pass bills on the House floor that will surely die in the Senate (if it even appears there), but may resonate with voters? Like paying women as much as men, or punishing big pharma for price gouging, or protecting racial and sexual minorities from the real witch hunts that rot the nation’s core.

Sure, you’re gonna fall on your own sword in the attempt. But we’re all going to die. At least do so with your head held up.

In Sickness and in Health

 

The test results came back. And the news is not good.

We have cancer. Stage 4.

This should surprise no one. We’ve been courting political cancer the way smokers court black lung, the way drinkers court rotted livers, the way junk foodies court heart disease. We know exactly the direction we’re headed, do little to change course — and are stunned when we arrive at trip’s end.

Such has occurred on a national, political scale. When 60% of residents vote in presidential elections, when 40% vote in midterms, when more citizens vote for the next American Idol than the next American president, malignant tumors are inevitable. Given the warm(ing), mossy climate we offered the malignancy, could we have wound up with anything other than Game Show President Syndrome? Related image

For us, the menacing odd-shaped mole appeared with the presidential election. Since then, the nation has responded to the diagnosis by experiencing four of the seven stages of grief, as codified by the American Psychology Association:

  • SHOCK & DENIAL — Did anyone believe their ears November 8, 2016?
  • PAIN & GUILT — How many people, looking back, wished they’d voted?
  • ANGER & BARGAINING — From the over-extension of the post-modernist left to the overreach of the American fascist right, we have proven lousy mediators.
  • DEPRESSION, LONELINESS — Trump may be the first president in history who gets people riled when he comes up — whether you’re for or against him. Opponents are furious he won; Supporters are pissed because their leader has convinced them they are ripped off rubes.
  • THE UPWARD TURN — Finding hope in small breakthroughs.
  • RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH — Learning to rise and stare down that which felled you.
  • ACCEPTANCE & HOPE — Realizing you are doing what you should have been doing long ago, and praying it’s not too late.

The first four stages have already occurred. The question is what we do with the last three.

To be sure, there’s no guarantee we survive this — or that we’re even serious about the diagnosis. Our cancer-in-chief rejects science, believes global warming a hoax and gazes  directly into solar eclipses. He hired a doctor who told him he could live to 200. That’s the thing about cancer: It can’t recognize itself, only its victims.

And make no mistake, this cancer has metastasized to every region of the body politic. From the executive branch to Congress to the Supreme Court, it’s harder to find a body part that isn’t rotted than one that is.

Treatment’s gonna be a bitch. We’ll suffer hair loss (or at least the reforming of it in angles that defy modern physics). Image result for trump weird hair There will be much blood, screaming, loss of dignity. And we still may be too late.

But there are signs Americans are taking recovery seriously. They stopped a pederast from becoming an Alabama senator. They rejected rejecting universal healthcare. They look to a Perry Mason-type as their true top cop. Image result for muellerTwo women altered an historic Senate hearing this weekend by literally blocking an elevator door to be heard (and promising they’d be heard again come the Nov. 6 mid-terms). Image result for women flake elevator

Perhaps that is what ultimately defines the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings, which are  less about the character of the candidate than character of the country. Image result for angry kavanaugh

Kavanaugh is the chemotherapy. Radiation therapy is on Nov. 6. Remember to fast: don’t eat, drink or watch anything 12 hours before the procedure. We’ve seen and swallowed enough.