Bob Mueller’s Congressional testimony has not yet begun, but I can tell you how it will end:

With Dems walking away with squadoosh.

I should know. I’ve been holding Mueller hearings since high school. Only in my case, god is the investigative target, not Donald Trump.

But what Dems can’t seem to accept is that making a case against Trump is exactly like making a case against the lord (sorry, that mass murderer doesn’t deserve capitalization — just like Trump).

You see, it won’t matter what Bob testifies to, regardless of his investigation’s findings, just as it won’t matter what you tell a “believer.” Sure, the evidence of hoax is overwhelming. But GOPers, like evangelicals, believe what they want to hear, not what empirical facts tell them.

In truth, for Republicans, Trump is god. Don’t believe it? Just YouTube Trump rally videos, particularly as his slackwit crowds chant their version of John 3:16, “Send them back! Send them back!” If that ain’t a contemporary version of speaking in tongues, there ain’t one.  And don’t give me this shit that Republicans love to spew — “I’m a Republican, but I don’t like Trump.” That’s as hypocritical as those who belch “I’m socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.” Yeah? Then why do you support candidates who have helped run the federal deficit to $779 billion and counting?

The pussy-grabber-in-chief will likely win reelection on those hypocrisies alone, to the delight of the right, who dare not blaspheme against his atrocities, from caging toddlers to raping women. Ask Bob Corker or Jeff Flake what reasonable skepticism got them. Or John McCain’s wife.

The atheist-versus-believer debate will play out in full bloom following the hearing, as MSNBC runs interminably damning clips and FOX holds up its bible, in this case a teleprompter script that chants “No obstruction, no collusion!” Atheists are going to be taken to the woodshed on the power of faith alone. Coming from a family of churchgoers, I can tell you: The woodshed sucks. But just as I had to  accept dismissal and defeat, so too will never Trumpers. The LA Times actually ran an op-ed piece today with the headline “Congress Should Take Mueller’s Testimony as a Call to Action.”

How quaint. As opposed to every other treasonous day in Donnie’s stint on the job?

Instead of fighting low tide, howzabout this: Drop the Mueller questioning, drop impeachment talk  and pass bills on the House floor that will surely die in the Senate (if it even appears there), but may resonate with voters? Like paying women as much as men, or punishing big pharma for price gouging, or protecting racial and sexual minorities from the real witch hunts that rot the nation’s core.

Sure, you’re gonna fall on your own sword in the attempt. But we’re all going to die. At least do so with your head held up.