It’s anyone’s guess, the final human toll of COVID-19. Regardless of the body count, the coronavirus seems worthy of some historical title. All great disasters get them: The Great Dying; The Black Plague; The Royal Wedding.

But what to name this? It has all the trappings of a great disaster flick, as if we’d just watched the meteor plunge into the middle of the Pacific and can see the tidal wave headed for us in its wake. Only the trees and monoliths planted firmly in the earth seem destined to survive The Great Thinning.

Consider, already, how COVID has winnowed so thin as to be translucent the veil of what we once considered an American way of life. In the matter of a month, we’ve foudationally shifted our thinking on:

Faith. For years, we at the HB have argued that the majority of the nation is atheist because, well, if we thought someone were really watching,  we’d act different. Leave it to COVID to do us one better.

COVID demonstrates how believers actually behave when they think an invisible, capricious force capable of mass slaughter exists somewhere out there. It’s even adopted its own set of lifestyle commandments, more conservative than any Baptist fundamentalist or Muslim martyr:

Thou shalt not congregate.

Thou shalt not go unmasked or ungloved. 

Thou shalt not eat meat that’s been touched.

And most importantly, Thou shalt shun non-believers.

Do we not follow COVID’s commandments just as fervently, if not more so?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHpuqx2tzhI

Business. Corona has laid bare the notion that the stock market and the economy are related. As America’s death toll topped 50,000 and confirmed cases neared 1 million, those in the investing class have kept the DOW above 20000 by, among other things, short-betting on America. How else could oil drop to below $0? COVID has made clear the two American economies: Those who pay the bills; and those who bet they won’t be able to.

COVID is also going allow Economic Darwinism have its way, on everything from the gig economy to democratic socialism. Already, we are seeing its earliest results. Since COVID struck, according to U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, more than 33 million are unemployed, for a real unemployment rate of 20.6%—which would be the highest level since 1934.

Science. The silver lining of the new order. As dimwits protest not being able to get their hair did, others are publicly touting the beauty of science.That may not stop people from injecting Lysol into their veins, thanks to president PumpkinSpice and Fox lickspittles. But Darwin’s gotta thin the herd somewhere.

(Sidenote to above pic: That protester above misspelled ‘believe’ on purpose, right? To be ironic? Please be so. We need folks who can represent.)