Episode X: Take the Money and Run

 

Make no mistake: I have every intention of cashing the $1,200 check the Trump administration promises to send to every working American to get through the coronavirus pandemic.

But make no mistake: This “relief” package must have been thought up by the magna cum laudes at Trump University. Because this has bogus PHD written all over it.

I’m not a math guy. I don’t get how numbers work except in magic tricks (and I usually screw those up). But even a rudimentary grasp of division illuminates the screw job by the president.

Consider how much $2 trillion is. And we’re going to get a one-time payment of $1,200 to live perhaps well into the summer? Where, dear lawmakers, do you live? What do you do for food? Have you ever tried so see how far you get on $1,200?

About this far.

This is clearly an impossibility in the Economic Darwinism that is U.S. capitalism, but let’s say for a moment that the government decided to  put that money into the hands of the U.S. populace (the people who actually run the economy).

There are 246 million adults in America, according to the latest census data. A $2 trillion stimulus would put a check of $8,130.10. Cut another way, $1,000 a month for eight months (nearly through summer entirely).

We are already flirting with the idea of a Universal Basic Income for Americans. The estimated cost of living, proponents say, puts a UBI at $1,600 a month.

What an opportunity to test the theorem! In a limited window. With capped relief funds. While Americans are open to new realities in a post-corona world.

Instead, we’ll get $296 billion of the $2 trillion relief fund. The other $1.7 billion will go to the corporations our lawmakers say are in desperate need of an influx. Don’t worry, they say: Look how well the $800 billion bank bailout helped the working class in 2008.

That’s not piss; it’s trickle down economics, homes.