Instructions
- Put face part over your face.
- Put the elastic part on your skull. If a mask has two loops, put one over each ear. If it has one, put it around your head.
It’s sad to say, but I guess this label needs to go on all masks, including the protective ones we’ve been instructed to adorn in the pandemic.
As with diphtheria, measles, mumps, rubella, meningitis and polio, we can’t help but step back when science steps forward. We are anti-matter embodied.
The latest dark energy incarnation is our inability to wear masks properly, if at all. We’ve already given up on the dimwits who see masks as political theology, and the argument to wear one a violation of civil liberty.
But even in the most enlightened states — and I consider California one of them — I’m seeing people wear N-95 masks as a coughy filter or, worse, handkerchief. We have turned masks into our own theology of sorts, and sport them as jewelry.
I was in my 7-Eleven recently, where I saw a customer wearing a mask below his nose. Conscientious, I thought. At least he’s wearing one. But that’s no protection against a sneeze.
Another day I was at a drive-thru, where a busy manager was barking directions to her employees. Her mask was essentially a necklace looped behind the ears. I guess that’s technically wearing a mask, but no protection against…breathing.
This is akin to a kid trick-or-treating as Iron Man and wearing his plastic faceplate as a top hat. Or a bank robber using a bandana as a scarf.
Already, California is considering mandating that residents again wear masks outdoors. COVID is on the rise in 20 states, and two of them hit single-day highs for confirmed cases this week.
Maybe we are a half-nation of anti-vaxxers and flat-Earthers. I pray not, but it seems clear we need refresher courses on some of the basics.
Make sure to tune in next week, when we explain how to loop a belt.
