I don’t like watching unrecorded television, probably because I have no dominion over it.
Live sports are maddening: My favorite teams have the audacity to err, lose a game even. And studies have shown that listening to the “Keyes on Van Nuys” jingle repeatedly will cause human ears to bleed and, eventually, fall off. That’s just science.
Same with any show that isn’t called Breaking Bad or Fargo. I’d rather record a late-night airing, even if I’m awake for it, to avoid sales pitches for hemorrhoid creams and personal injury attorneys.
But this week, I was drawn to the unadulterated boob tube by a much-publicized game for which I cared little. And I was glad I did.
Not for the game, which was putrid. But the ads were fascinating. In the span of two prime time hours, three companies ran advertisements with movie-quality production values, which is nothing new. But this is: The ads collectively said one thing: ‘I’m sorry.’
First came Uber’s, which apologized for its reputation of misogyny and driver/rider mistreatment:
Then came Facebook, which apologized for giving out personal data to anyone with a checkbook:
Finally, there was Wells Fargo, which apologized for creating bogus customer accounts — and the requisite account fees:
Whether the ads are effective remain unclear. But on a corporate scale, the mea culpa marketing strategy is in full bloom. A cursory check of commercials of other corporations reveal a similar tack. Here was Domino’s apology for making pizza that tastes like a cereal box:
General Motors asked forgiveness for all the taxpayer bailout money it needed to stay afloat:
And, not to be out-humbled, Toyota said ‘my bad’ for a string of recent recalls:
The strategy seems risky but well-defined in purpose: to make corporate America appear more humanoid. The Supreme Court has ruled that businesses have much the same rights as American citizens. But the court didn’t require them to have manners.
So corporations are putting on their best human airs. How many times have we seen a commercial with the subtext “Real people, not actors?” As if a) actors are not people; and b) real people are less likely to lie to you.
Only time will tell if the public will forgive. But an informal poll of friends suggests skepticism is a hard wall to bring down once it’s erected. Do you believe a deceiver who tells you, ‘This time, for real?’ We hear your apologies, corporate America. And we apologize for being so suspicious of ulterior motives. We’ll do better next time.
Promise.
