George Carlin found fame with his list of the seven remaining dirty words. They are:

• shit.
• piss.
• fuck.
• cunt.
• cocksucker.
• motherfucker.
• tits.

Time has taken the edge off all but one. And a few — shit, piss and tits — are now deemed suitable for network television (but not “goddamn,” for some reason. And that’s my favorite swear).

In truth, there are only three forbidden words remaining in the English language. They are the C-word, the N-word and F-word (not fuck). They remain forbidden because all violate the First Law of Economic Darwinism: To offend a viable demographic is to court death within that financial ecosystem. Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Roseanne, Louis C.K. all violated that basic principle, and disappeared, literally, within days.

But Trump need not worry about the First Law. Perhaps any law. His wacky lackey made ripples on Meet the Press today when he said, in regards to the investigation of Russian collusion, “truth is not truth.”

And he may be right. His employers have sold us on “alternative facts.”

When the Sunday squawkers weren’t cawing over Giuliani’s latest song and dance, they were speculating whether “the tape” would surface soon.

You know “the tape.” The one from the Apprentice franchise in which Trump reportedly uses the N-word. Perhaps regularly. Omarosa is on a book tour claiming to have them. Penn Jillette, a former Celebrity Apprentice contestant, has made the Breaking News circuit with cagey confirmations of the president’s epithet of choice.

To which I must ask: Would the tape make a difference, regardless of what’s on it? We’ve already heard a tape that would bury anyone else’s political aspirations. It only made him a purer martyr in his flock’s eyes. We have already witnessed that Trump is tweet- and tape-proof.

Let’s say there was a tape that proved definitively that Trump helped supply the Las Vegas shooter with automatic weapons and munitions. How much do you think his base would diminish? How many would cite Revelations 2.0: “The truth is not truth.”

The truth about truth is this: it becomes irrelevant in the face of faith. Here, then, are some Factslaps that deserve a little faith:

• Usain Bolt was offered a position as wide receiver in the NFL and rejected it due to the hits NFL players take.  
• “King” in a snake’s name signifies it preys on other snakes. 
• The Korean title for the 1993 film Groundhog Day is “Black Hole of Love.”
• Back pain is the single leading cause of disability worldwide. In the US, back pain costs over $50 billion in missed work days.
• Henry Hiemlich used the Hiemlich Maneuver for the first time at 96-years-old in 2016. 
• Sylvester Stallone considers his 1992 movie Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot as “maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system.” 
• Every day, the number of people around the world living in extreme poverty (less than about $2 a day) goes down by 217,000.