Tag Archives: Cuomo

When the Buzz Saw Hits Bone

 

The media outlet Buzzfeed had to down a plateful of crow today, served up by none other than Robert Mueller.

The meal was unexpected for a couple of reasons. One, Buzzfeed is as much of a news outlet as Scientology is a religion. In fact, they share a similar modus operandi: Both try to attract followers for cash, not enlightenment.

Second, and more startlingly, was the waiter. Mueller tends to treat media reports like fresh turds. He avoids them like he’s walking barefoot.Image result for stern mueller

But his office couldn’t ignore Buzzfeed‘s “bombshell” story last night: Citing two anonymous sources, it said Mueller’s office suspected thug lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen had been ordered to lie to Congress by none other than the president.

In a rare rebuke, Mueller’s office issued an official repudiation. While it did not specifically name the errors in the story, special counsel spokesperson Peter Carr told BuzzFeed its “description of specific statements to the Special Counsel’s Office, and characterization of documents and testimony obtained by this office, regarding Michael Cohen’s congressional testimony are not accurate.”

As expected, Buzzfeed stood by its report, calling on Mueller’s office to be specific on the claimed inaccuracies. Even worse, Chris Cuomo, the news anchor at cable TV’s (usually) most unbiased 24/7 news outlet, offered this little editorial nugget, claiming Mueller’s office damaged the already-tarnished view of news media:

“Mueller didn’t do the media any favors tonight and he did do the president one,” Cuomo cawed. “This allows them to say, ‘You can’t believe it, you can’t believe what you read, you can’t believe what you hear, you can only believe us,’” Cuomo then added, ”‘Even the special counsel says that the media doesn’t get it right.’”

With all due respect to Cuomo, CNN and the kids at Buzzfeed: Go fuck yourselves.

To CNN: What’s your message here? That to call us out for inaccuracy is to be the enemy, on the wrong side of a firefight? Our job is to get it right. And when we don’t, or are accused of being wrong, our job is to back up our words with the facts we reported.

Mueller’s job isn’t to do anyone favors. Neither the media nor the president. His job is to get to the truth. Would we even believe his investigation if was doing anyone favors?

And it’s not like Mueller to capriciously refute a media report. For instance, his office said nothing last week when  The New York Times reported that the FBI had opened an investigation into whether Trump was acting as a Russian agent after his firing of James Comey. Was he doing the media a favor then and the president a disfavor? Clearly, his office speaks up when it finds something to be egregiously off.

To Buzzfeed: How can you seriously ask Mueller’s office to provide you with specific details of their claim when you quote unnamed sources? You’re not playing with a double edged sword here; you’re playing with a doubled edged sword with a razor blade handle. Why don’t you man-up behind your story first, and we’ll talk details.

A bit more about Buzzfeed: Here are a few headlines from your edition Saturday. “27 Cheap Products To Actually Organize All The Small Stuff/Everything is under $25!” And “12 People Who Posted On Social Media Without Giving A Single F (Featuring savage moms.)” And “34 Genius Products That Will Fix Your Small (But Annoying) Problems/Button extenders that will add an extra 1″ to my waistline? Where were you when I was suffering at Thanksgiving dinner?”

Understand: Every time Buzzfeed does a story on products for sale, it gets a cut of that sale. They admit it with this caveat before each glowing review of a product:  “We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.”

Just because you admit you profit off of (invariably positive) “reviews” of merchandise doesn’t make your story valid. It just makes it an ad, dimwits.

And to Cuomo, whose catch phrase before each newscast is “Let’s get at it.” Ok, let’s.Image result for chris cuomo

Mueller taking a media report to task has the absolute opposite effect of emboldening the president. In fact, it undercuts Trump’s “fake news” mantra and gives credence to Mueller’s investigation (Trump inadvertently praised Mueller by citing the release to bash Buzzfeed‘s story). If Mueller is in no one’s camp — and willing to call a media report inaccurate — it’s tougher to call him biased, let alone a witch hunter.

This speaks to a larger issue: the public distrust of media. No outlet is as critical of the president as this one. We have no problem calling Trump out on everything from outright lies to uneducated misspellings (hamberders?).Image result for trump hamberders

But not at the cost of accuracy. The truth is the only currency we can carry.

And the truth is this: The president is onto something about us, though, predictably, he is ignorantly off-point. America isn’t riddled with fake news. But when outlets make a profit on trending stories and click-bait, it’s riddled with something much worse:

Non news.

 

 

 

A Word By Any Other Word

 

I’m loathe the criticize my brethren in the legit .media, given the weeks of late we’ve had:  Jamal Khashoggi’s assassination, the CNN mail bomb attempt, Trump’s revocation of press credentials of any reporter who is multi-syllabic.

But I gotta say, press guys, come on. Don’t give into the retardation. Namely: please give us respite from our latest tired cliches: “Words matter” and “constitutional crisis.”

The first is a no-brainer, made popular among the 24/7s with Chris Cuomo’s attempt to make himself a catch phrase phrase. Now his colleagues are citing it, and I even heard an MSNBC anchor use it after a particularly vitriolic Trump speech.Image result for chris cuomo

What a bullshit term. That’s like saying “goodness is good.” Of course words matter. They make up your favorite book. Your favorite movie, TV show and song, too. How about something more, perhaps, specific, like “he’s grossly overstating the numbers,” or “that’s not in keeping with a speech he gave yesterday” or even “That’s simply not true.” You know, context. They beat platitudes like a rented mule.

The second nascent trope is “Constitutional crisis.” This is more nuanced, but no less confounding. Worse, not only are journalists dropping it like an 8-year-old with a new curse word; they’re allowing politicians from both parties to use it as an escape hatch from tough questioning. Top GOP leaders, in particular, love to prattle on that, for instance, Trump’s ending of the Mueller probe would pose an unacceptable “Constitutional crisis.”

What the fuck does that mean? That Trump is suffocating the Constitution with a pillow? That he’s holding the only copy, with a lit match inches away? This part is just journalistic laziness. How about an explainer of what the crisis actually constitutes? Possible arrests? Riots? Regime change? Marxism 2.0? Democrats are enjoying the term equally, because it allows them the false impression they would do anything to resolve it, despite their impotence.

Even when reporters do examine the term, they explain little. MSNBC loves to fantasize about possible Republican repercussions, especially impeachment. They must have lost count in the Senate.

But let’s indulge Rachel Maddow for a second, to her heart’s content. Say the House opened an investigation that not only proved collusion, but that he murdered five people to boot. Arrest, conviction, the whole kaboodle. 

Problem is, American judicial convictions are allowed appeal, all the way up to the….wait for it…the Supreme Court. And given Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frail health and Sandra Day O’Connor’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, we could be looking at seven of the nine Supreme Court Justices leaning decidedly conservative. Do we really expect rulings against the GOP?Image result for ruth bader ginsburgImage result for sandra day o'connor

How about a couple simple follow up questions, comrades: “How do you define a Constitutional crisis, and what do you plan to do about it?” Just a  thought.

But there’s a brilliant silver lining: you. We saw it in the midterms, along with the Pouter-in-Chief’s panicked firing of Jeff Sessions the day after elections to quash the probe. Trump sees the corner nearing as the paint spreads. And given the tone of a very pissed House, expect investigations as regular as episodes of Celebrity Apprentice.

Forget Constitutional crisis. Let’s keep our eyes peeled for an existential one.

And now for the less crisis-y: Factslaps:

  • More than 6,000 Swedish men have the first name “Love.”Image result for swedish men named love
  • Oklahoma’s 2016 Teacher of the Year moved to Texas in 2017 for a higher salary.Image result for Oklahoma's 2016 Teacher
  • Netflix show ‘Black Mirror’ derives its name from the reflection you see in a switched off screen or monitor.
  • Most people believe other people’s social lives are richer and more active than their own, according to a 2015 psychological study.
  • In 1985, Neil Armstrong and Edmund Hillary went to the North Pole together.Image result for Neil Armstrong and Edmund Hillary went to the North Pole together.
  • Finland is the only country in the developed world where fathers of primary school-age children spend more time with their children than mothers.
  • Actor Martin Sheen has been arrested 66 times for protesting and other civil disobedience. Image result for martin sheen arrested