I’m a big fan of Bill Maher.

The host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher was one of the first to use the term “panic porn,” a perfect description of the news coverage style of the 24/7s. He’s one of Donald Trump’s fiercest critics. And he’s funny as hell.

But there’s something off on his coronavirus diagnosis. And it’s somehow in sync with Fox News in lamenting the coverage of COVID-19.

Yes, the news is monotonous in its alarm bell headlines about the virus. Between the pandemic and protests, CNN and MSNBC are as varied in programming as the Lifetime Network.

But he may be doing real harm in his complaints about the re-opening of the country. Perhaps fatal harm. Just like Sean Hannity. Just like Tucker Carlson.

Of late, he’s pointed out the inconsistent policies of state and federal government to get the country and economy jump started. “Why can’t I get a haircut, but my dog can?” he asked in a recent episode of his show. In moaning that he can’t see a baseball game this summer, Maher featured a picture from a packed United Airlines flight recently and asked why United Airlines is up and running, but United Airlines Stadium isn’t. Fair enough.

Yet he’s seemingly ignoring statistics. We’ve eclipsed two million confirmed cases in the U.S. alone. We’ve surpassed 100,000 American deaths, making COVID one of the country’s leading causes of deaths this year.

And those aren’t Breitbart numbers. They’re sourced from places like Johns Hopkins University and The Lancet. And the CDC! Do you really think an arm of the Trump administration is under-reporting the numbers? If it were up to Dr. Bone Spurs, the number would be in single digits, if they existed at all.

And showing a packed plane doesn’t exactly make the argument. We don’t know if passengers are aboard a flying petri dish. We may not know for weeks. Just because, say, most people drive home safe with a .08 blood-alcohol level, that isn’t an argument for raising the legal limit.

Already, we are seeing a spike in COVID numbers, as experts predicted. Confirmed cases have risen in 19 states. Hospitalizations are up in at least nine. Is that fake news, Bill? Do you think physicians are in cahoots,  doctoring the numbers in a radical left conspiracy?

I love when healthy people complain about the overreaction to a health risk. Or the under-qualifications of modern sciencists and doctors. You apparently have experienced the benefit of neither.

It reminds me of self-professed libertarians, among them magician Penn Gillette, of whom I’m also a big fan. Funny how poor people rarely call for libertarian-ism.

Face it, Penn and Bill. You don’t want your wallets touched. You don’t want to be bothered with the ailments of the sickly.

And I’ve got news for you, Bill. You can get a haircut. Have your HBO stylist come by for a home visit. Get a set clippers. Or hop a flight to a state that’s opened its barbershops.

Maher has described the nation’s reaction to coronavirus to a panicked babysitter rushing upstairs in fear of an intruding slasher.

Here’s a news flash, in real time: The calls are coming from inside the house.