Killer Heat arrives on the scene like a detective noir desperately trying to pretend it’s still 1940.
It’s got all the ingredients: a booze-soaked PI with personal demons, a femme fatale you can’t trust, and a murder mystery that reeks of cover-up.
But this film is about as hot as a damp washcloth.
Directed by Philippe Lacôte and based on Jo Nesbø’s short story The Jealousy Man, Killer Heat offers nothing new under the sun—whether that sun is shining down on Crete or burning away any sense of intrigue this film hoped to muster.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt tries his best to channel the disheveled, morally ambiguous private eye Nick Bali, but you can practically hear his inner monologue cashing the paycheck. You know things are bad when the most thrilling part of your noir thriller is realizing you’ve seen the twist coming since the opening credits.
Shailene Woodley, bless her, plays Penelope Vardakis with all the subtlety of someone reading a Greek myth off a cue card. The whole “jealousy between brothers” schtick is delivered with such leaden seriousness that you almost expect to see “Icarus” scrawled on someone’s forehead. And yet, even with a classic love triangle and a suspicious climbing accident, the stakes in Killer Heat feel about as high as a midweek matinee.
Let’s not forget Richard Madden playing twins—because who doesn’t love a tired dual-role gimmick? Unfortunately, the only thing distinguishable between the brothers is that one of them dies, and even that fails to stir much drama. Madden is capable, but here, he’s stuck in a narrative so predictable it makes Scooby-Doo look like Agatha Christie.
The pacing? Glacial. The tension? Nonexistent. You can practically feel the actors waiting for something interesting to happen, while the audience checks their watches wondering if they’ve accidentally tuned into a travel documentary on Greece.
Sure, the scenery is beautiful, but when your mystery’s primary twist can be spotted from a mile away—on foot, not even free-climbing—no amount of sun-drenched cliffs will save you.
To call Killer Heat a slow burn would be to suggest there’s any burn at all. If you’re looking for actual heat, I suggest you turn on the stove.
