Declare The Pennies on Your Eyes


Last week, I received a check for $150.17 from the IRS. Apparently, I overpaid my taxes.

Actually, I received a check for $150.17 and a note. The note said I would receive a note from the government to explain the check.

A few days later, I received the note, which explained I had overpaid my taxes by $150.17.

It all begs two questions: If you calculated my taxes to the penny, why then do you annually send tax Sanskrit to me — along with the Draconian threat to hire a professional Sanskritian under threat of the hoosegow every April 15? Why not just send me the calculation, and I’ll pay or deposit accordingly?

And why the fuck would you send a note that I’ll be getting a note? I’m paying the postage for you assholes.

I guess that’s three questions. I’ll file for the deduction in ‘24