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The Wonderbra Theory of Technology

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I don’t know shit about economics, and know even less about bras. But I’ve been seeing a lot in the news lately about the puzzling vigor of the U.S. stock market during the pandemic, and I have a possible explanation: It’s the WonderBra Theory of Technology.

It posits this: All technology lifts and separates, like the underwire push-up.

First, let’s tackle the “lift” component. Technology requires that human kind is able to elevate, across the spectrum: Higher speeds, higher memory capacity, increased distances, further depths, longer reaches, etc. We could literally see this being birthed in The Space Race, from 1957 to 1975.

Space Race Diary | American Experience | Official Site | PBS

Now for the “separate,” which is a bit less obvious, but hear me out. I propose that every technological advancement in modern U.S. history has had a separating effect on the culture. Consider:

  • When radio was invented in 1895, Americans no longer had to congregate to share an oral history. We could instead stay at home for radio theater or ball games, for instance.
Old Time Radio Theater
  • When television was invented in 1925, the insulating effect was even more pronounced. Why go to a play when you can see a TV show? Why go to a movie when you can do Netflix? On a personal level, we all know the frightening amount of time we spent(d) secluded in front of the boob tube. There’s a reason for the term couch potato.
Are We Nearing the End of the Couch Potato Era? | NCTA — The Internet &  Television Association
  • The advent of social media in 1997, with the website Six Degrees, hermetically sealed the American population in our technology cocoons. The ability to work, date, shop and essentially exist within a string of 1s and 0s helped create a social landscape of divots. We have created personalized echo chambers that resonate our confirmation biases like a holler in a canyon.
394 Empty Bleachers Stock Videos and Royalty-Free Footage - iStock

The same can be said for almost all technological advances; electricity nullified the need to gather around heat; the telegraph eliminated the reliance on personal correspondence; better automotive technology allowed us to live further and further from home.

And, for better or worse, we’re seeing the same effect on our economy, and in the stock market in particular. Last month, U.S. News & World Report published a piece on how stocks are faring so well when the economy is faltering so dramatically. The magazine said:

“A few enormous and prosperous companies are behind the upward trend of the stock market. Recently, profits have been concentrated in a few tech companies that hold near-monopoly status, such as Amazon. and other ‘FANG stocks'” (Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netscape, Google).

So how long is our underwear going to support? Anyone’s guess. But as much as we love to curse the rise of social media and bemoan our collective addiction to cellular telephones, let’s not forget that the Wonderbra did the job we designed it to do.

Yes, technology fostered the fractured and divisive political climate we now call home. But the lift-and-separate mechanics of technology may yet save our hides. From schools to sports to socializing, from hugs to handshakes to a pat on the back, what is so unsettling about these times is that we’re learning just how much human interaction we can live without.

Believe It Or Not!

 

I took my nephew to Hollywood for the first time. You know, for the ambiance and understated charm.

We went to Mann’s Chinese Theater, where he stepped in Donald Duck’s footsteps. Then we went to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Museum, where we found another daffy Donald.

It was a Madame Taussaud  wax sculpture of Trump. Til I die I’ll believe that the initial rendering was the most sublime “fuck you” to a president ever created.Rafi gazed for a few minutes at the terrific floating faucet (why have they not marketed this into an overpriced magic trick?)

Then he wandered to the sculpture. “Do you know who this is is?” I asked. “Yep,” Rafi said with the confidence of an 8-year-old about to show an old man how out of touch he was. “That’s the president. He doesn’t like us.”

My mind raced, then reeled. How did he come to that conclusion? Grown-ups? The TV? Friends? Viral videos? And what do you tell a child who suspects something like that? The truth?

So I did what most parents likely do. I walked him back to the faucet. “Isn’t that cool? How do you think they do that”

We walked out, me dizzied by either the offhandedness of the comment, the heat, or both. We were met by a group of marchers, carrying hand-painted signs and shouting in Spanish. and bullhorns. I do not know what they were saying, but had a hunch. Police escorted them across the red light, a phalanx of signage, singing, searing. When they passed and the light allowed, we began to cross. By now, I’m literally afraid to let go his shoulder.

Without looking up, he says “What does ‘protest’ mean?” My clutch melted into a mini massage-squeeze, mini back scratch. Then just a hand on a shoulder.

It means we’re going home, kid, where truths can be discoveries, not realizations. To Rafi, the week’s Factslaps

  • Your mobile phone has more computing power than the computers used for the Apollo 11 moon landing.Image result for apollo 11
  • The winner of the first modern Olympic Marathon stopped at a tavern mid-race for a glass of wine.
  • People buy more when they’re hungry, even when shopping for non-edible goods.Image result for food court
  • Despite being a relatively small and densely populated country, The Netherlands is the world’s second biggest exporter of food.Image result for finland on map
  • The original Pac-Man has a safe spot where the ghosts will never get you.Related image
  • Ancient Romans running for office wore a distinctive toga called the “toga candida.” Hence the word “candidate.”
  • Leonardo DiCaprio’s haircut from Titanic was once outlawed by the Taliban.Image result for leonardo dicaprio titanic

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4K5od-uZEY