If the author of Evidentialism: An Atheist Guide to Faith ever gets off his ass and makes it an official book, there will be a chapter on recognizing HeavenNow moments.
HeavenNow moments are a lot like Halcyon Days (another chapter in the book, I swear). Whereas the Halcyon Days theorem posits that today is the halcyon day, that this is the halcyon day, the HeavenNow theorem makes the same assertion, just fractionally. Evidentialism acknowledges it’s a difficult state of mind to achieve. Consider HeavenNow moments a baby step towards Halcyon Days.
HN moments are easy to spot. You know you are in a HeavenNow moment if, given all options imaginable, you could not create a greater scenario in heaven. And if that’s the case, burn it in your mind. Even momentarily. You’re in heaven! Now, no less! Simply recognizing it is the first step. Do it often enough and you’ll begin to remember them. This was my latest:
Driving to my overpriced grocery store, a non-descript gray sedan pulled alongside me this week. In the car are three women, perhaps in their mid-70’s, and three tiny, yipping, bouncing dogs caroming in the car like Superballs bazooka-ed in a prison cell. They’d have leapt from the car had the ladies not rolled the windows up, leaving just a tiny gap of tantalizing air for the coked-out canines.
When I saw the fracas to my left, I must have cast a wide grin, because the ladies pulled up flush with my car so I could see the entire commotion. The dogs were loving their smello-vision. The ladies were loving their dogs.
Except maybe the lady in the back seat. She sat stoically as the rest of the car lost its collective mind. She looked like Miss Daisy at a monkey house. Maybe she was trying to bring some air of dignity to the scene. But the dogs just exploited her imperturbable body , using her rigid frame as a diving board.
One landed in the passenger seat. Or rather, was plucked by the passenger, who caught the Corgi (?) midair and brought it into her lap. She then lifted the dog, decked in a red Christmas sweater and no longer looking playful. The woman grabbed a paw and waved hi to me. The woman was grinning broadly, though her pup suddenly looked like it was in a hostage video. Muffy clearly wanted no part of this.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I waved back, though I’m not sure to whom. I guess it didn’t matter. Goddamn, I’m going to miss this place. And its HeavenNow moments. Below are some HeavenNow sitings posted online across the globe.
Perhaps that’s why our pets ignite so many of them. Deep down, we know they have a choice in the matter.
