Tag Archives: China

And Her Gift? A Mop and Bucket

I have so many questions.

But first, congratulations, Melanie (Donnie copy edited this)! You turned 49 yesterday. Hope it was everything a woman dreams on the edge of a half century. I hear President Globular is even going to take his socks off during your birthday sex.

Now the questions:

Who the hell runs the White House Twitter feed? Apparently, Donnie was hosting some dignitaries Friday in another room when the shot was taken, but THIS is the pic you chose to officially wish Melania a Happy Birthday? You couldn’t find one of her on the crapper?

And what is she doing there, anyway? It’s your birthday, and hubby talked you into celebrating on a couch with paparazzi?

Finally, what did prez get her? My guess is an unsigned paperback copy of The Art of the Deal.Image result for the art of the deal

Now for something less distasteful: FactSlaps.

  • The average U.S. gamer is 35 years old.Image result for middle aged gamer
  • China invests more each year in renewable power than any other country on earth.
  • Iceland and Finland have the lowest infant mortality rate in the world.Image result for china renewable energy
  • Macaulay Culkin was the first child actor to earn $1 million for a movie.Image result for macaulay culkin home alone
  • Ta’u island in American Samoa runs on 100% solar energy.
  • Of the 56 million abortions that take place worldwide every year, 45% are not considered safe by WHO standards.
  • Sharks are older than trees. Image result for sharks
  • Older fish live longer if fed the feces of younger fish. Image result for fish feces

Can’t Escape from the Common Rule

I was recently reminded of a phrase I hadn’t heard in a while: To have one’s cake and eat it too.

I’ve never understood that term. What else would you do with a cake you have? Wear it? Rent it bowling shoes? And while we’re at it, why do we still use “selling like hotcakes?” Were they once as socially hot as, say, the Furby?

Less questions. More answers:

  • 90% of Chinese teenagers and young adults suffer from myopia (short-sightedness). Image result for chinese kid in glasses
  • The highest race horse speed ever recorded was 43.97 mph. Image result for fast running horse
  • 3 out of 4 teenage girls feel depressed after looking at a fashion magazine for only 3 minutes, according to a Cambridge study.
  • 75% of all suicide attempts are by self-poisoning with drugs, and 97% of those cases survive.
  • The average person pees six times a day. Image result for funny toilet pic pee
  • Intel employs a “futurist” whose job is to determine what life will be like 10-15 years in the future.
  • More than $80 of every $100 of wealth created in 2017 went to the richest 1%.
  • According to the Washington Post, Trump made 4,299 false or misleading claims in his first 558 days. Image result for trump lie funny