Monthly Archives: August 2020

Deja Viewed: Heart of Darkness

Heart of Darkness eBook by Joseph Conrad - 1230000037584 | Rakuten ...

“Mistah Kurtz — he dead!” — Heart of Darkness, 1899, Joseph Conrad

The 1970’s will forever be inscribed in Hollywood’s epochal calendar as the era of the ingenue: Directors like Coppola, Spielberg and Scorsese would find their early wheelhouses there with films that would permanently alter our definition of a movie hero.

But after a half-century of cultural wave-making, analyses and retrospection, perhaps Apocalypse Now, The Exorcist, Jaws and Taxi Driver had more to do with antagonists than protagonists. At the very least, the films introduced us to a new breed of anti-hero

Specifically, all four films can be seen through the prism of a single story, Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. More importantly, each iconic film breaks dramatically from the novella’s ending (spoiler alert), in which a frail antagonist withers and dies in evil’s crippling grip. In the films, however, the heart of darkness is a living, almost supernatural thing; an entity that cannot only be possessed, but can possess those who dare face it.

There is even a crucial scene from the book which can be found in each movie and underscores the films’ shared theme: The only way to face a Heart of Darkness is to take it into your own.

The scene, which we’ll call the Bird-Snake Moment, comes early in Conrad’s book, as mariner  Charles Marlow looks at a map of the Congo and is intrigued by the serpentine shape of the river he must take to find insane ivory trader Mr. Kurtz.  The uncoiled river, Conrad writes, holds a macabre fascination for Marlow, “as a snake would a bird.”

Not only do the four seminal works follow Conrad’s story arc (which would prompt enumerable facsimile films), but all contain their own Bird-Snake Moments. And a spoiler warning to all films at sea: Here be monsters.

Apocalypse NowApocalypse Now: A Clash of Cultures - The American Society of ...

This is the most open homage to Conrad’s 1899 book. Though written by John Millius and Coppola, Apocalypse Now proclaimed itself in 1979 to be the previously un-filmable big-screen adaptation of Darkness (Conrad is even given an unofficial writing credit on IMDB).

Apocalypse retains the primary characters of the book: Col. Walter Kurtz (Marlon Brando) sits at the end of a jungle river for his scheduled reckoning. Instead of ivory trader Marlow, we get Capt. Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) to render judgement.

Fresh off directing The Godfather, Coppola clearly had just begun his exploration of power’s inescapable corrosion. In Apocalypse, he goes further, intimating that the Heart of Darkness  takes control of a soul’s physical form. Note Willard’s mirror dance in the opening of the film; he’s in a trance, as his arms seem to work independently of the body. Lance, the surfing soldier, performs the same dance on the patrol boat as it snakes upriver; and Lt. Richard Colby, a soldier sent before Willard to kill the colonel, performs the same dance at Kurtz’s jungle lair.

While Conrad’s Kurtz falls ill and dies, Coppola’s Kurtz has to be hacked down by Willard, who is beginning to bear a striking resemblance to the colonel. When Willard steps into shadow, he is a replica of the madman. To confront this Heart of Darkness, the director seems to imply, you must cast aside remorse or humanity; in fact, the only characters who survive the film are those who show no pangs of guilt.

As for the Heart of Darkness, it transfers to Capt. Willard, who himself is uncertain what he’ll do with it. “They were going to make me a Major for this,” he narrates before killing Kurtz, “and I wasn’t even in their fucking Army anymore.”

Bird-Snake Moment: About 24 minutes into Apocalypse, after The Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction. Willard opens the dossier on Kurtz, and thinks the military must have given him the wrong file. But the more Willard reads, the more intrigued he becomes. Halfway through the movie, our narrator admits the driving force of the PBR is not a motor, but Willard’s “desire to confront him.”

The ExorcistThe Exorcist Head Spin - YouTube

William Friedkin’s masterpiece feels a long way from the Congo or Southeast Asia, but hear us out.

The story of a demon-possessed girl in Georgetown seems a straight-up horror flick, and The Exorcist has been rightly hailed as one of the greatest chillers of all-time. Like Jaws and The Godfather, the film became one of the few examples of a movie turning out better than the book. And William Peter Blatty’s book is scary as hell.

But The Exorcist begins with a 10-minute set-up in Iraq that may be the best tangential opening in film history. Not only does the scene establish the unearthing and unleashing of the god Pazuzu from its crypt in Iraq; it also sets up an inevitable showdown between the demon and Father Merrin (the wondrous Max von Sydow). Pay attention to Sydow’s facial expressions in those opening 10 minutes. They paint a man resigned to his fate: to meet the Heart of Darkness — again (he had exorcised Pazuzu once before).

Here, too, the Heart of Darkness is a literal thing, if supernatural. Blatty researched real demon lore, and the novel was inspired by a 1949 case of demonic possession and exorcism that Blatty heard about while he was a student in the class of 1950 at Georgetown.

Like Apocalypse, Exorcist‘s heart can be passed from soul to soul. But here, we’ve got a stronger narrator than Willard or Marlow: Father Damien Karras (the Oscar-nominated Jason Miller), a priest who questions his faith. When The Heart (Pazuzu) leaves the girl and takes possession of Karras’ soul, the priest finds enough belief to cast himself and the demon down the now-iconic Georgetown outdoor stairway.

Bird-Snake Moment: At 12:06 p.m. in the Iraq opening. Merrin and another scholar are discussing the father’s future when Merrin looks deeply into the unearthed Pazuzu statue head. The clock stops ticking. And look again at the scene of Merrin gazing bird-like at Pazuzu. The demon has a snake for an erection.Pazuzu Demon Superstar - Mad Monster

JawsSee 'Jaws' Filming Locations Via Google Earth | Mental Floss

Like The Exorcist, it’s tempting to put Jaws into a category and declare it The Greatest Niche Film of Blank. The scariest movie of the decade. The monster movie of the millennium. Hollywood’s first summer blockbuster.

All true, but all understatements. Jaws was more than all of that. Jaws changed the way Americans interact with the sea. Even Moby Dick, on which the book Jaws is blatantly structured, didn’t strike the fear the 1975 film did. I still dread murky water.

So, too, did millions of moviegoers, who were unprepared to see a man eaten by a shark, as Quint so famously was, in a PG film. I still remember mom bracing a 10-year-old for the gruesomeness ahead. Today, it looks cartoonish, and  even the photo above betrays the monster’s mechanical innards.

But just as Rocky was never about fighting (it has less than 10  minutes of actual boxing in it), Jaws was never about a maniacal shark. It’s actually the story of Marlow, or Willard, or Father Merrin.  Here our protagonist is Marting Brody, the Amity Island Police Chief who can’t swim and is deathly afraid of water.

Brody’s character, portrayed by the inimitable Roy Scheider,  serves as a diving rod for audiences. He alerts us to danger.

When the Orca fishing vessel creaks mysteriously, Brody asks the question aloud: What was that?  When the great fish pulls alongside and dwarfs the boat, Brody fires his handgun in relatable hopelessness. When fisherman Quint and oceanographer Hooper try to kill the beast, Brody watches them fail and fall.

Finally, when the great white takes aim at Brody, our hero must literally submerge into the Heart of Darkness — here, into the murky, blood stained sea — to get off a final shot at the demon-like fish.

By film’s end, as Brody and a somehow-alive Hooper tether a raft to paddle to sea, and Brody ends with these words: “You know, I used to be afraid of the water.” But in taking it in, the film implies, he’s conquered the darkness.

Bird-Snake Moment:

In the first half hour, as Brody is looking at a book on sharks after buying his son Michael a small wooden boat. Though he doesn’t know it yet, he’s about to come face-to-face with the serpentine monster that lurks in the darkness. Take a close look at Brody’s face in the scene: You can almost see Marlow looking at a map where there be monsters.

Taxi DriverLet's Talk About the Ending of 'Taxi Driver'

This is the furthest stretch in the Conrad theory, but perhaps the most profound. Martin Scorsese’s first commercial movie (he had found indie film success with 1973’s Mean Streets) introduces us to Travis Bickle, a Vietnam War vet who emerges from the streets of New York in a crimson vapor as if he emerged from the bowels of the Earth.

During the 1 hour, 54 minutes of Taxi Driver, we slowly learn the uncomfortable truth about Travis; he’s a lonely, angry, racist hypocrite who rails against a world he helped eviscerate, ultimately going on a rampage and slaying every pimp, john and whorehouse manager he can put a gun or knife to.

To this day, critics argue over whether Travis’ massacre was real or a dream; whether Travis lived or died, whether he became the hero he envisioned or another disposable madman. Scorsese has said in interviews that the film is less symbolic than critics suggest, and that he was simply commenting on America’s fixation and idolization of the gun culture. But he concedes the ambiguity was intentional, and that the core intent was to let viewers take away their own message.

Given that…

Bird-Snake moment: The entire movie. Travis Bickle is the snake. We are the bird. The camera actually captures our gaze into Travis’ dark world. 

Consider two iconic scenes in the movie. In the first, Travis calls Betsy (Cybill Shepherd) after a disastrous first date, in which he takes a stunned and offended Betsy to a porno. As Travis asks if shes received the flowers and messages he left for her, the camera slowly pans away from the phone aand focuses down an empty hallway, as if it’s too embarrassing to watch. 

In the second, Travis is talking in the mirror, practicing his handling of pistols and knives. “You talking to me?” he asks himself, responding with his Death Wish pose.

How many times have we had a version of this conversation in a mirror? The retort we would have said? The defiance we would have displayed? The anger or humor or coolness we would have put on display?

Screenwriter Paul Schrader may unintentionally make the strongest case for Taxi Driver’s Conrad-ian theme. Schrader said even Travis Bickle’s name was meant to imply an ugliness in our very nature. He wanted an anti-hero with a poet’s first name and an epithet for a last. 

In an interview, Schrader said he was approached by a moviegoer after the film’s release. “How did you hear about me?” Schrader recalls being asked. He discovered  the man wasn’t asking about cab driving, but about the man’s life specifically. In subsequent fan interactions, Schrader realized the broader  lure of a Travis Bickle — and his amorphous anger that we all sporadically feel toward the loved, the wanted, the paired, the happy.

Can any of us really deny our own Heart of Darkness, or the universal cord it strikes when we see it unleashed? Five years after the film was released, John Hinckley Jr. shot Ronald Reagan outside the Washington Hilton Hotel. Hinckley later told police he was recreating the political assassination scene in Taxi Driver, and was obsessed with Jodie Foster, who played the teenage prostitute in the movie.

For three-quarters of a century, Heart of Darkness was considered the impossible film. In 1939, Orson Welles presented RKO Pictures with a 174-page script adapted from the novella. However, after a few months of debate, RKO’s president George Schaefer decided to pull the project. Welles’ Heart of Darkness was seen as a risk on three fronts: financially, stylistically and politically. So it sat unadapted — until the ingenues.

Perhaps they saw what Hollywood had wrong. Heart of Darkness was never a tale about a frightening, foreign world. It’s about the terrifying internal one.

Before It’s Redacted

Michael Cohen Disloyal The Book Official | Pre Order Now

(Editor’s note: Legal types are still debating how much Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former fixer, is legally allowed to say publicly. The Trump administration has tried to jail and sue to stop publication. So we publish all we can.)

Disloyal, The Foreword: The Real Real Donald Trump

“The President of the United States wanted me dead.

Or, let me say it the way Donald Trump would: He wouldn’t mind if I was dead. That was how Trump talked. Like a mob boss, using language carefully calibrated to convey his desires and demands, while at the same time employing deliberate indirection to insulate himself and avoid actually ordering a hit on his former personal attorney, confidant, consigliere, and, at least in my heart, adopted son.

Driving south from New York City to Washington, DC on 1-95 on the cold, gray winter morning of February 24th, 2019, en route to testify against President Trump before both Houses of Congress, I knew he wanted me gone before I could tell the nation what I know about him. Not the billionaire celebrity savior of the country or lying lunatic, not the tabloid tycoon or self-anointed Chosen One, not the avatar @realdonaldtrump of Twitter fame, but the real real Donald Trump—the man very, very, very few people know.

If that sounds overly dramatic, consider the powers Trump possessed and imagine how you might feel if he threatened you personally. Heading south, I wondered if my prospects for survival were also going in that direction. I was acutely aware of the magnitude of Trump’s fury aimed directly at my alleged betrayal. I was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and I kept the speedometer at eighty, avoiding the glances of other drivers. Trump’s theory of life, business and politics revolved around threats and the prospect of destruction—financial, electoral, personal, physical—as a weapon. I knew how he worked because I had frequently been the one screaming threats on his behalf as Trump’s fixer and designated thug.

Ever since I had flipped and agreed to cooperate with Robert Mueller and the Special Counsel’s Office, the death threats had come by the hundreds. On my cell phone, by email, snail mail, in tweets, on Facebook, enraged Trump supporters vowed to kill me, and I took those threats very seriously. The President called me a rat and tweeted angry accusations at me, as well as my family. All rats deserve to die, I was told. I was a lowlife Judas they were going to hunt down. I was driving because I couldn’t fly or take the train to Washington. If I had, I was sure I would be mobbed or attacked. For weeks, walking the streets of Manhattan, I was convinced that someone was going to ram me with their car. I was exactly the person Trump was talking about when he said he could shoot and kill someone on 5th Avenue and get away with it.

My mind was spinning as I sped towards DC. For more than a decade, I had been at the center of Trump’s innermost circle. When he came to my son’s bar mitzvah, a generous gesture that I found touching, he told my then thirteen-year-old boy that his Dad was the greatest and that, if he wanted to work at the Trump Organization when he grew up, there would always be a position for him.

“You’re family,” Trump said to my son and I.

And I fucking believed him!

Pulling over at a service plaza, I gassed up and headed inside for a coffee, black no sugar. I looked around to see if I was under surveillance or being followed; a sense of dread consuming my thoughts. Who was that FBI-type in the gray coat or the muscle-bound dude a few paces behind me? The notion that I was being followed or stalked may have seemed crazy; but it was also perfectly logical. I wasn’t just famous—I was perhaps the most infamous person in the country at the time, seen by millions upon millions as a traitor. President Trump controlled all the levers of the Commander in Chief and all the overt and covert powers that come with the highest office in the country. He also possessed a cult-like hold over his supporters, some of them demonstrably unhinged and willing to do anything to please or protect the President. I knew how committed these fanatics were because I’d been one of them: an acolyte obsessed with Donald J. Trump, a demented follower willing to do anything for him, including, as I vowed once to a reporter, to take a bullet.

On the eve of my public testimony, lying in the still of the night in my hotel room, taking a bullet assumed a completely different meaning. That was the level of ruination I had brought upon myself- complete and total destruction. I closed my eyes, wishing the nightmare would end. When I started working for Trump I had been a multi-millionaire lawyer and businessman, and now I was broke and broken; a convicted, disgraced and disbarred former attorney about to testify against the President on live television before an audience of more than 15 million Americans.

“Hey, Michael Cohen, do your wife and father-in-law know about your girlfriends?” GOP Representative Matt Gaetz tweeted at me that night, to cite just one example of the juvenile idiocy and menace aimed in my direction. “I wonder if she’ll remain faithful when you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot…”

Sitting in the green room on the morning of my testimony before the House Oversight Committee, I began to feel the enormous weight of what was about to happen. For some reason, after all that I’d been through, and all I’d put my family and the country through, waiting in that room was the moment when the gravity of what was about to happen truly hit home. The United States was being torn apart, its political and cultural and mental well-being threatened by a clear and present danger named Donald Trump, and I had played a central role in creating this new reality. To half of Americans, it seemed like Trump was effectively a Russian-controlled fraud who had lied and cheated his way to the White House; to the other half of Americans, to Trump’s supporters, the entire Russian scandal was a witch hunt invented by Democrats still unable to accept the fact that Hillary Clinton had lost fair and square in the most surprising upset in the history of American presidential elections.

Both sides were wrong. I knew that the reality was much more complicated and dangerous. Trump had colluded with the Russians, but not in the sophisticated ways imagined by his detractors. I also knew that the Mueller investigation was not a witch-hunt. Trump had cheated in the election, with Russian connivance, as you will discover in these pages, because doing anything—and I mean anything—to “win” has always been his business model and way of life. Trump had also continued to pursue a major real estate deal in Moscow during the campaign. He attempted to insinuate himself into the world of President Vladimir Putin and his coterie of corrupt billionaire oligarchs. I know because I personally ran that deal and kept Trump and his children closely informed of all updates, even as the candidate blatantly lied to the American people saying, “there’s no Russian collusion, I have no dealings with Russia…there’s no Russia.”

The time to testify nearing, I asked the sergeant-at-arms for a few minutes of privacy and the room was cleared. Sitting alone, my thoughts and heart racing, I had the first panic attack of my life. I struggled to breathe and stand. The pressure was too much; I had contemplated suicide in recent weeks, as a way to escape the unrelenting insanity. Reaching for a seat, I started to cry, a flood of emotions overwhelming me: fear, anger, dread, anxiety, relief, terror. It felt something like when I was in the hospital awaiting the birth of my daughter and son, with so many powerful and unprecedented emotions welling up in anticipation. Only now I was that child being born and all of the pain and blood were part of the birth of my new life and identity.

Trying to pull myself together, I went to the private bathroom and checked my eyes to see if they were bloodshot or puffy. To my relief, they weren’t. I splashed my face with cold water and felt a calm coming over me, and then a surge of confidence and adrenaline. I had pled guilty to multiple federal crimes, including lying to Congress, but I was there to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I knew that Trump and the Republican House members would want me to hesitate, falter, show weakness, even break down. They wanted me to look unreliable, shifty, and uncertain about the truth and myself. This was blood sport and they wanted me to cower. I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction, I decided. I was going to nail it.

“Showtime,” the sergeant-at-arms called out, opening the door. “You’re on Mr. Cohen.”

One deep breath and I stepped into the hallway, into a crush of photographers and TV cameras and the craziness of wall-to-wall national obsession. I made my way alone through the jostle and shove of the surging crowd as I experienced the out-of-body sensation of seeing myself on television screens walking in to testify. It was truly bizarre to be at the epicenter of American history at that moment, to personify so many fears and resentments, to be the villain or savior, depending on your point of view, to speak truth to power in an age when truth itself was on trial. There I was, watching myself on TV, the Michael Cohen everyone had an opinion about: liar, snitch, idiot, bully, sycophant, convicted criminal, the least reliable narrator on the planet.

So, please permit me to reintroduce myself in these pages. The one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that whatever you may have heard or thought about me, you don’t know me or my story or the Donald Trump that I know. For more than a decade, I was Trump’s first call every morning and his last call every night. I was in and out of Trump’s office on the 26th floor of the Trump Tower as many as fifty times a day, tending to his every demand. Our cell phones had the same address books, our contacts so entwined, overlapping and intimate that part of my job was to deal with the endless queries and requests, however large or small, from Trump’s countless rich and famous acquaintances. I called any and all of the people he spoke to, most often on his behalf as his attorney and emissary, and everyone knew that when I spoke to them, it was as good as if they were talking directly to Trump.

Apart from his wife and children, I knew Trump better than anyone else did. In some ways, I knew him better than even his family did because I bore witness to the real man, in strip clubs, shady business meetings, and in the unguarded moments when he revealed who he really was: a cheat, a liar, a fraud, a bully, a racist, a predator, a con man.

There are reasons why there has never been an intimate portrait of Donald Trump, the man. In part, it’s because he has a million acquaintances, pals and hangers on, but no real friends. He has no one he trusts to keep his secrets. For ten years, he certainly had me, and I was always there for him, and look what happened to me. I urge you to really consider that fact: Trump has no true friends. He has lived his entire life avoiding and evading taking responsibility for his actions. He crushed or cheated all who stood in his way, but I know where the skeletons are buried because I was the one who buried them. I was the one who most encouraged him to run for president in 2011, and then again in 2015, carefully orchestrating the famous trip down the escalator in Trump Tower for him to announce his candidacy. When Trump wanted to reach Russian President Vladimir Putin, via a secret back channel, I was tasked with making the connection in my Keystone Kop fashion. I stiffed contractors on his behalf, ripped off his business partners, lied to his wife Melania to hide his sexual infidelities, and bullied and screamed at anyone who threatened Trump’s path to power. From golden showers in a sex club in Vegas, to tax fraud, to deals with corrupt officials from the former Soviet Union, to catch and kill conspiracies to silence Trump’s clandestine lovers, I wasn’t just a witness to the president’s rise—I was an active and eager participant.

To underscore that last crucial point, let me say now that I had agency in my relationship with Trump. I made choices along the way—terrible, heartless, stupid, cruel, dishonest, destructive choices, but they were mine and constituted my reality and life. During my years with Trump, to give one example, I fell out of touch with my sisters and younger brother, as I imagined myself becoming a big shot. I’d made my fortune out of taxi medallions, a business viewed as sketchy if not lower class. On Park Avenue, where I lived, I was definitely nouveau riche, but I had big plans that didn’t include being excluded from the elite. I had a narrative: I wanted to climb the highest mountains of Manhattan’s skyscraping ambition, to inhabit the world from the vantage point of private jets and billion-dollar deals, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get there. Then there was my own considerable ego, short temper, and willingness to deceive to get ahead, regardless of the consequences.

As you read my story, you will no doubt ask yourself if you like me, or if you would act as I did, and the answer will frequently be no to both of those questions. But permit me to make a point: If you only read stories written by people you like, you will never be able to understand Donald Trump or the current state of the American soul. More than that, it’s only by actually understanding my decisions and actions that you can get inside Trump’s mind and understand his worldview. As anyone in law enforcement will tell you, it’s only gangsters who can reveal the secrets of organized crime. If you want to know how the mob really works, you’ve got to talk to the bad guys. I was one of Trump’s bad guys. In his world, I was one hundred percent a made man.

Before I could read my opening statement to the Oversight Committee on the day of my public testimony, the Republicans started to play procedural games. It was clearly an attempt to rattle me, I thought, a spectacle that only demeaned them and the institution itself. As I started to answer questions, it was evident that the Republicans didn’t want to hear a word I had to say, no matter how true or how critical to the future of the country. For all the hard truths I spoke about Trump, I wasn’t entirely critical of him, nor will I be in these pages. I said I know Trump as a human being, not a cartoon character on television, and that means I know he’s full of contradictions.

“Mr. Trump is an enigma,” I testified to the committee. “He is complicated, as am I. He does both good and bad, as do we all. But the bad far outweighs the good, and since taking office, he has become the worst version of himself. He is capable of behaving kindly, but he is not kind. He is capable of committing acts of generosity, but he is not generous. He is capable of being loyal, but he is fundamentally disloyal.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” one of the Republicans taunted me, perfectly expressing the stupidity and lunacy of his party’s antics. To drive this point home, they actually made a sign with a picture of me on it. In bold letters, the sign proclaimed, “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire.”

I recognized the childish games, replete with a Trump-like slogan, because I had played them myself. In the pitiful sight of Republicans throwing aside their dignity and duty in an effort to grovel at Trump’s feet, I saw myself and understood their motives. My insatiable desire to please Trump to gain power for myself, the fatal flaw that led to my ruination, was a Faustian bargain: I would do anything to accumulate, wield, maintain, exert, exploit power. In this way, Donald Trump and I were the most alike; in this naked lust for power, the President and I were soul mates. I was so vulnerable to his magnetic force because he offered an intoxicating cocktail of power, strength, celebrity, and a complete disregard for the rules and realities that govern our lives. To Trump, life was a game and all that mattered was winning. In these dangerous days, I see the Republican Party and Trump’s followers threatening the constitution—which is in far greater peril than is commonly understood—and following one of the worst impulses of humankind: the desire for power at all costs.

“To those who support the President and his rhetoric, as I once did, I pray the country doesn’t make the same mistakes as I have made or pay the heavy price that my family and I are paying,” I testified to Congress, exhorting them to learn from my example.

“Given my experience working for Mr. Trump, I fear that if he loses the election in 2020 that there will never be a peaceful transition of power,” I concluded. “This is why I agreed to appear before you today.”

Representative Elijah Cummings had the final word, as chair of the Oversight Committee. I sat in silence, listening to this now deceased man with decades of experience in the civil rights movement and other forms of public service, who as a lawyer had represented disgraced lawyers like me. He understood that even the least of us deserve the opportunity to seek penance, redemption and a second chance in life. Cummings was the lone politician I encountered in all my travails who took an interest in me as a human being. When I reported to serve my sentence, he even took steps to ensure my security in prison. It was a selfless act of kindness for which I will always be grateful.

“I know this has been hard,” Cummings said to me and the nation, his words hitting me like a kick in the gut. “I know you’ve faced a lot. I know that you are worried about your family. But this is a part of your destiny. And hopefully this portion of your destiny will lead to a better Michael Cohen, a better Donald Trump, a better United States of America, and a better world. And I mean that from the depths of my heart.”

Representative Cummings concluded by saying, “We are better than this.”

Amen, I thought.

Now, sitting alone in an upstate New York prison, wearing my green government-issued uniform, I’ve begun writing this story longhand on a yellow legal pad. I often wrote before dawn so not to be disturbed in my thoughts when my fellow inmates awoke. I had to report to the sewage treatment plant where some of us worked for a wage of $8 a month. As the months passed by and I thought about the man I knew so well, I became even more convinced that Trump will never leave office peacefully. The types of scandals that have surfaced in recent months will only continue to emerge with greater and greater levels of treachery and deceit. If Trump wins another four years, these scandals will prove to only be the tip of the iceberg. I’m certain that Trump knows he will face prison time if he leaves office, the inevitable cold Karma to the notorious chants of “Lock Her Up!” But that is the Trump I know in a nutshell. He projects his own sins and crimes onto others, partly to distract and confuse but mostly because he thinks everyone is as corrupt and shameless and ruthless as he is; a poisonous mindset I know all too well. Whoever follows Trump into the White House, if the President doesn’t manage to make himself the leader for life, as he has started to joke about—and Trump never actually jokes- will discover a tangle of frauds and scams and lawlessness. Trump and his minions will do anything to cover up that reality, and I mean anything.

Watching Trump on the evening news in the prison rec room, I almost feel sorry for him. I know him so well and I know his facial tics and tells; I see the cornered look in his eyes as he flails and rants and raves, searching for a protector and advocate, someone willing to fight dirty and destroy his enemies. I see the men who have replaced me and continue to forfeit their reputations by doing the President’s bidding, no matter how dishonest or sleazy or unlawful. Rudy Guiliani, William Barr, Jared Kushner and Mike Pompeo are Trump’s new wannabe fixers, sycophants willing to distort the truth and break the law in the service of the Boss. All this will be to no avail. Trump doesn’t want to hear this, and he will certainly deny it, but he’s lost without his original bulldog lawyer Roy Cohn, or his other former pitbull and personal attorney, Michael Cohen.

During my testimony, Republican House members repeatedly asked me to promise that I wouldn’t write a book. I refused, repeatedly. It was another way of saying I shouldn’t be permitted to tell my story, in essence giving up my First Amendment rights. It was a clear sign of desperation and fear. I have lost many things as a consequence of my decisions and mistakes, including my freedom, but I still retain the right to tell this story about the true threat to our nation and the urgent message for the country it contains.

One last thing I can say with great confidence, as you turn the page and meet the real real Donald Trump for the first time: This is a book the President of the United States does not want you to read.

Michael Cohen

Otisville Federal Prison, Otisville, New York, March 11, 2020″

Why It Had To Be Kamala

Kamala Harris hits Trump, promises progressive change in ...

Boy, you’d think someone had just been elected president.

Perhaps it’s PPF (Pandemic-Protest Fatigue), but the 24-7s have been on Joe Biden’s choice for a running mate as if they’d just had their first orgasm — or abortion — depending on the crier.

Blues are radiating like first-time parents, and why not? Liberals haven’t had a ticket to get excited over in 7 1/2 years (name one thing about Tim Kaine other than he is a Senator who ran for Vice-President). Tim Kaine (@timkaine) | Twitter

For the Reds, that child is Damian, a demon-spawn cross-pollination of socialism and anarchy. To embrace her is, literally, to “hurt God.” He Will 'Hurt God, Hurt The Bible': Trump Attacks Joe Biden In A ...

Yet they seem to agree: Kamala is a risky choice. And I just don’t get it.

Sure, I guess it’s always risky in politics to suggest historical precedent. After all, something had to create precedent.

But perhaps it’s instructive to consider what the Democratic presidential ticket would have looked like if it had not included Kamala Harris.

After all, there have been just three political movements in America over the past half-decade. One was on the Republican side, two on the Democrat. And both parties had no choice but to acknowledge the great tailwind currents that propel them.

For the GOP, the political wave is Trumpism. He is the closest thing to an avatar Republicans have left that resembles the ideals they once held dear. Lawmakers have tried to resist that tailwind. They’re known as ex-lawmakers.Paul Ryan moving his family to Washington from Wisconsin - POLITICO Republicans will ride Trump’s coattails until the coat stops winning. When that happens, they will distance at O.J.-Simpson-speed.

For Democrats, the political wave has been two-fold: #MeToo and Black Lives Matter. Both have drawn marches by the thousands, perhaps millions, and led the  Blue Tide in the election wins of 2018. Black Lives Matter and Me Too have seen similar backlashes.

Those movements, however, lacked a face (a common lament for Dems).

Until now.

Who was going to be the face of #MeToo? A male, of any race? How about BLM? A non-African-American, of any gender? When you realize the nominee had to be a woman of color (an inevitable first for a changing nation), the choice seems less risky.

Particularly when you look at the notable contenders, namely Stacy Abrahms and Susan Rice. While both boast bona fides, only Harris has been through presidential politics, impeachment prosecution and has a law enforcement background. Imagine the criticism if Joe had not recognized the woman who famously undressed him during a presidential debate?Joe Biden's Running Mate Should Be a Black Woman | ZORA

While Biden could have probably  picked a bowl of pudding as his running mate (#TeamTapioca) and still carried the ticket, the black vote was the Dems’ least certain base. Had Joe picked anyone not of color, what incentive would minority Americans have had to come out and vote, in a pandemic no less? How could Dems have claimed that change is nearby?

And let’s be honest: Dems had to take a risk.  We have picket-dimples in our ass from sitting on the fence so long.

Time to pick a side.