I’ve seen people doing some crazy shit while in lockdown during the pandemic: salsa lessons in the mirror; workouts with pumpkins; reading.

Ironically, the one thing we aren’t doing seems to be getting rest.

It’s understandable. COVID-19 is a wicked bender. Sundays blend to Mondays, work to weekends, weeks to months, Julys to Novembers (just watch).

In response, I propose we treat a forgotten luxury more luxuriously: the common nap.

We take them for granted. Grab them on the fly. Squeeze one in when we can find the time (which somehow still seems limited).

Instead, how about making a ritual of the routine? After all, there will come a time, COVID or not, when we will not be able to indulge the indulgence. So while we’re at it, how about recognizing the baffling beauty of a sun-dappled nod-off?

Consider the difficulty Americans have with the nation of slumber. We can’t fall asleep. We can’t wake up. Our mattresses suck (if you believe those Sealy pawns). Our sleep numbers are off.

Why, then, are naps so easy? Is it the guilty pleasure, the feeling we’re getting away with something? Is our circadian rhythm naturally set to siestas? Whatever the reason, the time has come to make naps as celebrated a ritual as a formal dinner. So here’s a how-to guide to a fully-experienced drift: (Note, this can only be done with a cooperating child, mate or pet that will allow you 1.5-2 hours of unadulterated dozing):

• Set the thermostat to 5 degrees below normal.
• With the lights out, take a warm shower.
• Don’t soap or shampoo. You can do that another time. Instead, close your eyes and imagine yourself as the granite beneath a cascading waterfall. Hear the rush. Feel the rush.
• Stay as long as you wish. Indulge the water. This is The Royal Nap.
• When you’ve felt the tensions largely leave your body, get out, dry and put on your favorite undergarments.
• Go to the coolest, darkest room in your home. Close the door. Seal out all light.
• Turn on a fan; generate white noise and a breeze.
• Lay face down in the bed, even if don’t sleep face down.
• Close your eyes.
• Begin the checklist: from your eyelids to your toes, think of every body part as you mentally scan down. Release the tension in every muscle. Relax every joint.
• Begin to feel the weight of your limp body. Feel every limb become leaden, loose and heavy as you sink deeper and deeper into the mattress.
• Think about breathing through your nose, about how you seem to sink a little lower, weigh a little more, with each full breath out.
• Finally, shift to the side you sleep on. It should be a little effort to even roll over now. 
• Settle into the covers, into the bed, into the bliss of unconsciousness.
• Feel the weight of your steady exhalations. Feel the sinking…
• …and have a good nap…