Monthly Archives: July 2019

Taxi!

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Here’s the recipe for a summer buddy-cop film. One guy, usually the cop, is as big as a house with an inclination to break things: rules, orders, villains’ faces. The other guy is typically much smaller and much funnier and kind of goofy — and he’s driving the other guy nuts, even as circumstances force them to partner up and take on some bad people.

Sure, May-December cop buddy flicks were have been a cliche since 48 Hrs to Midnight Run to Rush Hour to Men in Black to Ride Along to Central Intelligence to The Heat to the most recent example, Stuber. But given the summer overflow of big-budget sequels, Disney remakes and comic book reboots, this paean to cop films of the 80’s and 90’s seems like a nostalgiac nod to stupidity. And, somehow, most of it works.

It’s hard to overstate how refreshing it is to see a studio movie as silly and self-contained as Michael Dowse’s Stuber. The biggest action scene takes place in a sporting goods store. The Avengers are nowhere to be found. And the hero isn’t fighting to save the planet, just to help pay for the small business he wants to open with his crush (a spinning class geared towards single women called “Spinsters”).

What makes Stuber a fresh approach to a tired genre is that it joins those rare films that are perfectly synced with the American zeitgeist. Just a  You’ve Got Mail came during the AOL boom and The Social Network hit shortly after Facebook became omnipresent, Stuber will likely go down as the first big-studio film to take on ride sharing services. It won’t stomp the competition at the multiplex, but Stuber hits all the topical notes for young viewers: overprotective parents, the crippling addiction to cellphones and the roulette wheel roll that is calling a ride share service.

Much of the comedy credit here goes to Kumail Nanjiani (the HBO series Silicon Valley, The Big Sick). Nanjiani’s deadpan expression to people getting rowdy, drunk and nauseas in the back of his leased electric car could likely carry its own film. But that wouldn’t make for a buddy cop flick, so Dowse cannily casts Dave Bautista as Vic (Guardians of the Galaxy) a cop colossus with anger issues, severe myopia and a temper that sends him through walls like a drunken Kool-Aid Man.

It’s a silly pairing, but silly is the point. This movie, after all, is called Stuber because the protagonist is named Stu and he drives for Uber. Get it? Subtle intelligence takes a pronounced backseat to mindless escapism.

Stuber stumbles when it actually tries to break from comedy cliches with some adult-level violence. As the pair close in on drug dealers Vic is chasing, Stu has to face off against the martial marts actor from The Raid. Even for a comedy this goofy, it’s a plot stretch. Not only does the film skewer the tropes of Hollywood cop films, it embraces more than a few.

But they aren’t fatal flaws, and the pairing of Nanjiani and Bautista is inspired, particularly Bautista. He may be built like a Mack truck, but he displays enough tenderness he may escape Hollywood’s villain circuit.

Stuber is intentionally dumb and a little bit clunky, but Nanjiani and Bautista click, the action sequences are well-filmed and the humor is sometimes brutally funny. In a summer of repetitious travels, Stuber makes for a refreshing escapist ride.

The New Colossus

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Now THAT’s how you celebrate an Independence Day.

It came a few days after July 4th, but the American women’s soccer team showed how it’s done after winning the World Cup yesterday; with fireworks, cheers, tears of joy, and a display of the living embodiment of “United We Stand.” Not with tanks, fighter jets, soldiers and screaming yokels in a DC downpour who don’t know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.

The pressure for a championship had been building since last week, when U.S. National Women’s Team star Megan Rapinoe was asked how she would respond if the team won an unprecedented two World Cups in a row and were invited by the president for a congratulatory White House meal (I’m assuming another truckload of Whoppers and Big Macs).

Rapinoe, who is gay and is no fan of presidents who are serial rapists (22 allegations and counting) was quick with the answer. “I’m not going to the fucking White House.” she said.Image result for trump rapinoe

This, of course, blew the orangutan top of Trump, who called Rapinoe unpatriotic and presumptuous — from the safe distance of Twitter, of course. (Rapinoe would beat him like a rented mule should the two ever meet in person.) “I am a big fan of the American Team, and Women’s Soccer,” Trump sausage-fingered, presumably with a straight face. “But Megan should WIN first before she TALKS! Finish the job!” You know, because the president loathes premature boasting.

So Rapinoe quit taking and started kicking ass, leading the USWNT to a World Cup win over the Netherlands 2-0 yesterday. After the win, host stadium France put on a spectacle for a near-packed crowd that refused to leave after the women received their medals. They wanted to see the new royalty of the most popular sport in the world. (Side note: Why are the U.S. women so much better at soccer than the U.S. men? American women have won four World Cups; the best the men have ever achieved is third place. Yet U.S. women are paid $4,950 per match, while men make $13,166).United States celebrates winning the World Cup.

In the waning moments of the victory, Melania Trump tweeted congratulations. Obama’s quickly followed.

Trump was silent. Apparently he was watching Fox News instead of the game.

But there was no escaping the news. Fox News sent its foreign affairs correspondent Greg Palkot to a Lyon sports bar in France to report on the World Cup  postgame scene, and the fans — knowing that the reporter was from Fox News — had their own message for the network’s live shot. When Palkot was on the air, a U.S. fan in the background shouted, “Fuck Trump!” Then another. And another. Eventually, the entire bar joined the chant, clearly audible in the report, until the station cut away.Image result for rowdy pub

THAT, Trump must have seen. More than two hours after the victory, he pretended he wasn’t a Russian jockstrap and ate public crow: “Congratulations to the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team on winning the World Cup!” Trump tweeted. “Great and exciting play. America is proud of you all!” Fox led its newscast with the tweet, citing Trump being the good sport despite being disrespected.

Back in the stadium, Rapinoe hugged a teammate and struck a familiar pose in the stadium corner: She simply raised both arms and smiled. Were she holding a torch, she’d look a lot like Lady Liberty. Twitter went bonkers with doctored photos of Trump bitterly watching the match.Image result for trump rapinoe

Here in the States, New York immediately began plans told hold a victory parade through Manhattan. No word yet on whether the women will march past Trump Tower, but Rapinoe may be open to the idea of Trump as plump parade float.

USA! USA!

 

 

We’re the Kids in America

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No, that rumble you heard today was not the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come to level Los Angeles for its gay marriages, legal weed or traffic. Just an earthquake. Sorry Donnie and the Believers

And since Mother Nature got the party going early, lets sync with her with some fireworks and Factslaps to commemorate the immigrants who left an oppressive government, risked and lost lives to cross hostile borders, and finally sought asylum in the home of the free. Sound familiar?

  • Thomas Jefferson was the main author of the Declaration of Independence. Four others were also on the committee: Roger Sherman, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Robert Livingston.image
  • John Hancock was the first person to sign the Declaration of Independence. He made his mark in the center and it’s the largest signature on the document, likely because he was President of Congress at the time, according to the National Archives.john hancock signature
  • Independence Day should have been celebrated on July 2, 1776. Although the document was dated July 4, congress actually voted for independence from Great Britain two days prior on July 2, 1776. It apparently wasn’t signed by everyone until August 2, 1776.
  • John Adams wrote a letter to his wife about how memorable Independence Day would be in American history. He was obviously right — in his letter, he said the day should be celebrated with parades, bonfires, and fireworks.image
  • The Pennsylvania Evening Post was the first newspaper to print the Declaration. It came out in the newspaper on July 6, 1776 for everyone to see, after a local printer named John Dunlap produced copies of the declaration’s manuscript.image
  • An estimated 2.5 million people lived in the nation in July 1776. As of July 2017, about 325.7 million people live in the U.S., according to the United States Census.
  • Three presidents who signed the Declaration of Independence died on July 4. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826 — on the 50th anniversary of the country’s independence. James Monroe died five years later on July 4, 1831.
  • Independence Day was once celebrated on July 5. The holiday fell on a Sunday in 1779, so the country celebrated on July 5th instead.4th of july parade
  • U.S. soldiers got a special treat on the 4th of July in 1778. George Washington helped the troops celebrate by allowing them a double ration of rum, according to Live Science.
  • Americans spend over $1 billion on fireworks every year. According to the American Pyrotechnics Association, the numbers continue to go up every year. The biggest celebration is the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks show, which takes over 8,000 hours to prepare.fireworks show
  • There are 33 places in the United States with the word “liberty” in their names. According to the U.S. Census, four of them are counties — Georgia, Florida, Montana, and Texas have a Liberty County.
  • It didn’t become a federal holiday until 1870. It took nearly 100 years for it to be recognized as such, but when it finally happened it was up in the ranks with Christmas and a few other holidays.kids on 4th of july
  •  Around 150 million hot dogs are consumed on Fourth of July. According to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, that’s enough dogs to stretch from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles more than five times.Image result for hot dog july 4