When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Image result for in the shadow of the moon netflix

In the Shadow of the Moon is the sum of many parts that don’t quite add up. Part crime noir, part action film and part sci-fi adventure, Moon resembles The Terminator cross-pollinated with Seven, yet never quite matching either film’s punch.

Director Jim Mickle has balanced genres before, with standout movies including Cold in July and We Are What We Are. But an odd hodgepodge film like this needs a charismatic anchor as versatile as its subject matter, and Boyd Holbrook, while an apt lantern-jawed protagonist, doesn’t quite have the nerve and ambition of his material.

Holbrook (Logan, Narcos, The Host) plays Tom Lockhart, a Philadelphia cop whose life forever changes on a night in 1988. Just before his pregnant wife (Rachel Keller) goes into labor, Tom stumbles upon one of the strangest cases in the history of the city of brotherly love. A concert pianist, bus driver and fry cook all die at the exact same time, their brains literally oozing out of their eyes, ears, and mouths. All have puncture wounds at the backs of the necks and a suspect soon surfaces, a young black woman in a blue hoodie (Cleopatra Coleman). Lockhart and his partner (Bokeem Woodbine) soon track the woman, who seems to know a good deal about Tom, including that his wife is about to have a baby girl. Image result for in the shadow of the moon netflix bokeem

After what appears to be a violent end to a strange story, Moon jumps ahead to 1997, when it appears  a copycat is repeating the same crimes as nine years earlier. But what if it’s not a copycat? What if it’s the same person as in 1988, brought back on the nine-year-cycle of the blood moon? Every nine years, Lockhart goes deeper down the criminal rabbit hole of a case that may hold the future of our entire civilization. Now playing a criminal hunter instead of fugitive, Michael C. Hall also stars, portraying a cop whose job appears to be to call Lockhart crazy every nine years in his thickest Philly accent.

While Moon occasionally strikes procedural gold (it often looks like an updated version of Zodiac), Holbrook and Mickle take the story so seriously it never gets time to romp in the cinematic playground that is b-movie sci-fi. If anything, the closer that Holbrook and Mickle get to the core of the case — that someone is injecting victims with a parasitic isotope — the more dull the case becomes.The problem is that Moon makes little effort to keep its viewers mystified, so the audience isn’t going to be nearly as blown away as Mickle and screenwriters Gregory Weidman and Geoffrey Tock seem to assume we’ll be.Image result for zodiac movie

Part of the movie’s stumbles are due to pacing. The film, which is two hours long, hopscotches through five different time periods that are spaced nine years apart (1988, 1997, 2006, 2015, and 2024). In each time frame we learn a little bit more about what’s happening, and every new revelation seems more far-fetched than the previous. While there is tragedy along the way (Locke has to raise his daughter by himself), that doesn’t substitute for character development. Holbrook isn’t a bad actor, but he’s called only to don more stringy and bedraggled hair as time marches forward, and the aesthetic change doesn’t suffice for an emotional one. None of the movie’s performances are bad; but none particularly stand out, either.

The conspiracy, ultimately, is all about race, and there’s a mad scientist (Rudi Dharmalingam) bent on erasing centuries of hate. But even topicality can’t save this Netflix project from expositional bloat. In the Shadow of the Moon’s title is meant to make a larger statement about reversing the cycles of racism. And the film is pointedly proud of being woke. You, however, may not be by the time the credits roll.

 

Sign O’ The Times

puns

About seven years ago, the little town of Indian Hills, Colo. needed a new sign for its community center.

Nestled in a southeast burb about 23 miles from Denver, community leaders weren’t looking for anything garish; after all, it’s a hamlet of only 1,100 people. But city officials wanted something a little more eye-catching than the tiny sign with nondescript letters to announce weddings, fundraisers and the occasional  bingo night.

They approached Vince Rozmiarek, a stay-at-home dad who had recently joined the community center as a volunteer.  They didn’t give him any requirements for the sign — in fact, they had no money for a new one. They just wanted something a little more noticeable.

What they didn’t know was Rozmiarek’s Walter Mitty-esque dreams of being a comedian, though they should have been clued in by his first sign: “Indian Hills annexed by Morrison slow down.”

Perplexed residents flooded the local police department with calls. Had Indian Hills really been absorbed by Morrison, with a population of only 431? And had the speed limit really been dropped? Was this a speed trap?

“I could not believe how many people were calling the police,” Rozmiarek joked with reporters. “I really had the people at the Sit N Bull bar scared out of their minds. I did that and just decided that got a lot of attention so I’ll start throwing things up there.”

He has ever since. Every few days, he puts up something new. Sometimes he throws up his own jokes, sometimes he takes suggestions. Usually, he puts them into a list he reads to his wife. If she laughs, the joke goes up.

Since then, he’s turned Indian Hills into a social media phenomenon. If you look up Indian Hills on Google, a photo of the sign sits next to the town’s map coordinates on the from page of its Wikipedia listing. Tourists come to have their photos taken in front of it. It has 26,000 followers on Facebook.

To Rozmiarek and all other writers who can write something clever — not caustic —  in a fraction of Twitter’s character limit. Our executive branch could use a few pointers.

And a shout out to contributor Earl Troglin!

puns

puns

puns

 

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

puns

 

 

And Now, A Word from Our Sponsors

Image result for between two ferns matthew mcconaughey

Zach Galifianakis to Matthew McConaughey: “All right, all right, all right. Sorry, I was just reading the box office returns for your last three movies…Of all the things you can win an Oscar for, how surprised are you that you won one for acting?”

Aesthetically speaking, Between Two Ferns: The Movie isn’t much to look at. But on the page, Netflix’s newest film is a beaut.

Ferns, unlike many of the ill-fated Saturday Night Live movies, manages to maintain most of the charm of the Funny or Die internet talk show that spawned it (albeit with a little less star power). Brief, breezy and peppered with laugh-out-loud jokes, Ferns is a clever fake documentary about a fake television show hosted by the fake version of Galifianakis.

In the tradition of faux-interview characters like Martin Short’s Hollywood hack Jiminy Glick and Sasha Baron Cohen’s Ali G.,  Galifianakis is a clueless boob with an over-inflated ego, a non-existent social filter and a knack for asking the most inappropriate and offensive questions to his celebrity subjects.

Image result for between two ferns keanu reeves

To Keanu Reeves: “On a scale of 1 to 100, how many words do you know?”

While no one is going to confuse Ferns for Oscar bait, the comedy is going to please fans of the comedy skit — largely because the movie doesn’t try to be much more than that. Galifianakis is playing a hapless version of himself, asking his trademark offensive questions in his trademark stilted, deadpan manner.


Image result for between two ferns brie larson

To actress Brie Larson: “I’ve read online that you’re very private and decline to answer questions that make you feel uncomfortable. This is a two-parter: Is that true, and how old were you when you got your first period?”

The premise of Ferns has Funny or Die co-creator Will Ferrell demanding 10 new episodes from Galifianakis in just two weeks. If Zach can deliver on the mission, he will get his own late-night talk show on the Lifetime network. And with that, the 82-minute movie is off on a cross-country road trip.


Image result for between two ferns david letterman

To a heavily-bearded David Letterman: My guest today is Santa Claus with an eating disorder…Did you just wake up from a 15-year nap?

From The Larry Sanders Show to Curb Your Enthusiasm to Episodes,  the improv-friendly showbiz parody has been a rich source of comedic material, and Ferns is filled with hilariously awkward moments with his guests (who were not prepped for their scenes). During a stop in Kansas, we meet a down-on-his-luck Jon Hamm doing a seven-hour autograph session.


Image result for between two ferns jon hamm

To Hamm: “Bradley Cooper co-wrote, produced, directed and starred in A Star is Born. Are you hoping that will open doors for other hot idiots?”

Even with a running time barely longer than a TV drama, Fern loses a bit of steam in the third act, when the interview segments take a back seat to the resolution of that plot about Zach and the gang racing the clock to deliver the completed episodes.

Still, the plot line serves its real purpose — as a launching point to showcase a new series of interviews featuring some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrities squaring off against the greatest public-access talk show host in southeast North Carolina (Galifianakis’ real home state).

If you’re a fan of Fern‘s internet show, you’ll probably like the movie, directed by Galifianakis collaborator Scott Aukerman, who also wrote the screenplay. Aukerman cannily avoids the pitfall of how to order disulfiram online SNL comedies by not freighting the film with sluggish, clunky side plots and romances. Instead, he focuses on watching Galifianakis tweak and abuse celebrities to their faces in the guise of interviewing them.


Image result for between two ferns benedict cumberbatch

To Benedict Cumberbatch: “You once said you’re your own worst critic. So you haven’t read any of your reviews? If you didn’t have an accent do you think people would be able to tell that you’re not a very good actor?”

Decked in his cheap blazer, well-worn sneakers and clutching his cue cards, Galifianakis is a treat every time his show airs. He mauls names, mistakes movies and barely hides his contempt for stars more successful than he. Galifianakis asks the questions we’d all like red carpet reporters to ask, and the celebrity deadpan reactions are all the comedic punch the film needs. Galifianakis’ playfully skewers, but never punctures, the Hollywood PR machine.

That’s the whole movie — a tuft of concocted fluff that never asks to be taken too seriously, and that allows Galifianakis to artfully oscillate between idiocy and ire. Some interviews draw such laughter you’re not sure if the stars are acting or truly cracking up (and the gag-reel scene at the end of the movie suggest they often weren’t acting).


Image result for peter dinklage between two ferns

To Peter Dinklage: “Dinklage. Is that an STD? Why did you keep your real name? Galifianakis is a stage name. My real name is Chad Farthouse.”

Ferns flourishes in the awkward.  At its best, the humor can still draw a small drop of sardonic blood. It essentially plays like a Comedy Central Roast, served up in three-to six-minute nuggets. And Galifianakis is the perfect anti-fawner for celebrity chats. His passive-aggressive disaffection keeps everyone, including the audience, off guard. Galifianakis remains the Gen-X poster boy for arrested development; he has an acerbic affection for pop culture that somehow feels both feels both sarcastic and sincere.


Image result for between two ferns hailee steinfeld

To Hailee Steinfeld: “You were in Pitch Perfect 2 and 3. Do you ever wish you had been in the good one?”

That’s the community that Ferns celebrates; a shallow, harmless community. Lauren Lapkus is a standout as Zach’s assistant, Carol Hunch. And the film is filled with stars clearly enjoying the teasing. It may be a sliver of a film, but it’s an unexpectedly entertaining shard.