Category Archives: The Liminal Times

The Universe Is Four Days Old


Chilapa de Alvarez Do the math and the universe stops feeling ancient.

Medina If the universe is 13.8 billion years old, and the last normal stars will not burn out for another 100 trillion years, then scale that span to a human life and the universe has not yet made it through its first week.

It is four days old. It is lying in a bassinet somewhere, blinking at light it does not yet understand, its whole impossible future, every star, every collision, every blind stumbling accident of chemistry, still coiled inside it like a held breath.

This is what science gives us that nothing else can. Not comfort exactly, but scale. The kind of scale that reorders everything you thought you knew about where you stand.

Thirteen-point-eight billion years sounds ancient. It sounds like the end of something, like the face of an old man who has seen enough.

But 13.8 billion against 100 trillion is not even age. It is the first morning. The universe has not yet learned to walk. It has not yet had its first bad dream.

And 100 trillion is the modest number, the one astronomers reach for when they want something they can almost say aloud. Extend the clock to the black hole evaporation era, 10 to the 100th power, and the universe has not yet drawn breath.

On that scale, everything that has ever happened, every empire and extinction, every supernova and love affair, is the first tremor of a cry in a delivery room that will not fall silent for longer than the mind can follow.

What do you do with that?

Some people hear it as diminishment, the cold infinite indifferent to our brief arrangements.

But they are reading it wrong. Four days old means almost nothing has happened yet. Every star forming now in some unremarkable cloud of gas may warm a world for 10 billion years after our sun has cooled to a cinder. If life is something the universe does when conditions allow, most of its attempts are still ahead.

We are not the conclusion of anything. We are a note played very early in a symphony whose length no instrument can measure.

There is a lightness available in that, if you let it in. We carry our moment as though it were the whole story, our certainties, our emergencies, our conviction that what is must be what always will be.

But we are seconds-old creatures on a one-day-old rock inside a four-day-old universe, and the scale of what remains should loosen something in us. Make us more curious and less convinced. More willing to say: I do not know.

The universe has barely introduced itself, on a morning that has barely begun.

The last stars will not go dark for another 99,986 trillion years. We have been thinking recognizable thoughts for, at most, a few hundred thousand.

We are just getting started. So, apparently, is everything else.

No Mind at All


Among the Leaves

Sun Kil Moon

A pillow lays on cold cement
A blanket by a broken vent
She’s there a while
And then she’s gone

I’m away for weeks
Arrive at night
She hears my steps
Turns off the light and runs

No mind at all, more space than I need
It’s just me among the weeds
Among the ghosts
Among the leaves

We’ve never met but she’s a girl
Romance paper books
The floor is covered
In long blonde curls

On afternoons I walk the graves
The rusted cars, the mine shaft caves
See a girl sadly unkempt
A child of neglect

Under moons I pass the tombs
Cross the highways, smell the fumes
See a girl frighteningly gaunt
Somebody didn’t want
How do I tell her I don’t care
If she sleeps downstairs?

I see her on my errand runs
Looking nervous like a young Mia Farrow
Walk along the gas stops
Window browsing pawn shops
Guns, bows and arrows
Up on past the Halfway house
Past the signs Eighty South
Buttercup and Carrows
Drinking Wild Irish Rose
At the dead end of the road
Sleeping with the sparrows

When evening comes I play guitar
For the planets and the stars
I leave the porch light on
Like I do when I’m gone
Winter, spring, summer, fall
Basement’s yours, have a ball
There’s always room for you there
Really baby I don’t care