Category Archives: The Evidentialism Files

Getting Out of Your Head by Thinking About It

We’ve all been there – caught in a spiral of anxious thoughts, burning with anger, or drowning in sadness. These intense emotions can feel all-consuming, as if they are our entire reality.

But what if there was a way to step back and gain some perspective?

Enter the art of mental otherization.

Your Brain: A Wrinkly Wet Computer

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotion, try this: picture your brain. Not the abstract concept of your mind, but the actual physical organ inside your skull. Visualize that wrinkly, wet, gray three-pound slab of meat with its spinal cord tail.

Now imagine that chunk of biological material getting all worked up.

Suddenly, your anxiety or anger might seem a bit… silly. After all, it’s just a piece of flesh throwing a biochemical tantrum. This mental shift can help you detach from the intensity of your emotions and view them more objectively.

Bringing Out Your Inner Animal

Another technique is animalization. Ask yourself: if my current emotional state were an animal, what would it be?

  • Anxiety might be a squirrel, darting about frantically and hoarding nuts for an imagined future catastrophe.
  • Anger could be a puffed-up cat, hissing and arching its back at a perceived threat.
  • Depression might manifest as a sloth, barely moving and seeing no point in expending energy.

By associating your feelings with an animal, you create a mental image that’s easier to observe and even find humor in. It’s much simpler to calm down a frightened squirrel or soothe an angry cat than it is to wrangle with abstract emotions.

Becoming the Narrator of Your Own Story

The third method is third-person personification. Instead of thinking “I am angry,” try “John is angry.” Or choose any name you like: “Beatrice is feeling anxious right now.”

This approach turns you into the narrator of your own emotional story.

Like a writer crafting a character, you can analyze Beatrice’s feelings with greater clarity and compassion. Why is she anxious? What would help her feel better?

By creating this narrative distance, you gain the ability to be both the protagonist experiencing the emotion and the author guiding the story to a more positive resolution.

The Power of Perspective

These techniques all share a common thread: they create psychological distance between you and your emotions.

This distance doesn’t invalidate your feelings, but it does give you room to breathe, reflect, and respond more thoughtfully.

So the next time you’re caught in an emotional storm, remember: you’re not your feelings. You’re the observer of a wrinkly brain, the caretaker of an expressive animal, or the author of your own tale.

After all, it’s hard to stay too wrapped up in your own head when you’re imagining it as a damp, grumpy blob of gray matter.

The Consciousness Caper (in Three Acts)

Act I: The Setup

Listen: Your brain is pulling a fast one on you. It’s a doozy of a prank, been running since the first spark of thought flickered in the primordial soup of your mind.

The joke goes like this: You think you’re the driver, but really, you’re just along for the ride.

And here’s the punchline: Consciousness is the realization — and rationalization — of whatver the subconscious has willed into being. It’s not the mastermind we think it is; it’s more like a smooth-talking spokesperson trying to explain decisions it never actually made.

Don’t take it personally. We’re all in the same rickety cart, careening down the hill of existence, thinking we’re steering when we’re just holding onto a toy wheel.

Act II: The Twist

Picture, if you will, a grand theater of the mind. The subconscious lurks backstage, a mischievous stagehand pulling levers, adjusting lights, moving scenery. It’s pandemonium back there, a circus of neural fireworks and chemical cascades.

But out front? That’s where consciousness takes its bow. It’s putting on a one-person show called “I Meant To Do That,” and it’s been running since the first human noticed their opposable thumbs.

Every choice you think you make? Already in the can. That donut you just decided to eat? Your subconscious put in the order eons ago.

Your consciousness is just the waiter, bringing it to the table with a flourish and saying, “Here’s what you ordered, sir.” And you buy it, hook, line, and sprinkles.

This isn’t to say consciousness is as useful as a tissue teapot. It’s the world’s best improv artist, spinning yarns to explain why you did what you did, why you want what you want.

“I chose the salad because I’m health-conscious,” it proclaims, while the subconscious giggles, knowing it was really because you saw a lettuce leaf that reminded you of that time you held a frog as a child to test the wart theory.

Act III: The Punchline

But here’s the real kicker: This system, as loony as it seems, works. Because while consciousness might not be calling the shots, it’s the one writing the story of your life.

And in a universe where we’re all just stardust playing dress-up, a good story is worth its weight in quantum fluctuations.

So what’s the moral of this cosmic comedy? Well, if we must find a point (and oh, how human of us to try), perhaps it’s this: Be kind to your consciousness.

When you do something and you don’t know why, when your thoughts surprise you, when you find yourself believing something you can’t quite explain, remember: You’re not losing your marbles. You’re just human. Your consciousness is doing its best to make sense of the three-ring circus that is your subconscious.

And if sometimes the explanations fall short, if sometimes you feel like you’re not quite in control? Well, welcome to the club. We meet every day, all day, whether we want to or not. The password is “free will.”

Slow And Steady

Jonathan, a Seychelles giant tortoise, is recognized as the world’s oldest known living land animal. Born around 1832, Jonathan is at least 192 years old and resides on the island of Saint Helena in the South Atlantic Ocean. His exact birth year isn’t known, but he was fully grown when he arrived on the island in 1882, leading to estimates of his age.

Jonathan has become a symbol of longevity and resilience. Despite his age, he still enjoys a peaceful life, spending his days basking in the sun and eating a diet of fruit and vegetables. While his senses of sight and smell have diminished over time, Jonathan remains active, with a keen sense of hearing.

He lives on the grounds of Plantation House, the governor’s residence on Saint Helena, and has become the only celebrity and a tourist attraction for the tiny, remote island.