Category Archives: The Everyman Chronicles

Juan Crow Flies Again


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Trump doesn’t need a wall. He has a crow.

Not a metaphorical one, either. A real bird of prey, circling above a country dazed by déjà vu. We’ve seen this crow before — in the cotton fields and the chain gangs, at the lunch counters and bus stops. Its name then was Jim. Or Jane. Now it’s Juan.

Juan Crow, the term coined by journalist Roberto Lovato, describes the network of laws, customs, and power structures designed to isolate and punish undocumented immigrants. Under Trump’s second term, that crow has grown meaner, hungrier.

And it’s not just circling immigrants anymore. It’s eyeing citizens. It’s eyeing anyone not white enough, quiet enough, grateful enough.

This isn’t just policy. It’s ideology. A full-throated return to white rule, dressed in executive orders and wrapped in the flag. And it’s working.

Start with ICE. The border agency has become a domestic army, empowered to detain without probable cause. Agents don’t need warrants. They don’t need to explain. They just need to point, grab, and vanish people into a detention system described by Human Rights Watch as a mash-up of Guantánamo and Jim Crow prisons: concrete floors, rotten food, denied medicine, shackled hands.

Trump’s team has brought back quotas for arrests. Imagine that: a daily number of bodies to round up. Not criminals — people. Most of those detained have no violent record. Many have no record at all. But they’re brown. Or Muslim. Or loud. So the crow swoops.

The cruelty is the point, of course. It’s spectacle. Look at the photos shared by DHS Secretary Kristi Noem — shots from a Salvadoran mega-prison meant to stir fear, to signal what “law and order” looks like in the MAGA state. The implication is clear: if you’re not on the right side of the line, we have cages waiting.

It’s not just immigrants, either. Birthright citizenship is under attack. The 14th Amendment — once used to grant rights to formerly enslaved people — is being reinterpreted to deny rights to the children of immigrants. “It was meant for the babies of slaves,” Trump said recently, brushing aside the Equal Protection Clause like it was a typo.

Even citizens aren’t safe. Trump now openly muses about denaturalizing Americans. He laughed along with Fox’s Peter Doocy when asked if he’d deport Zohran Mamdani, a New York politician born in Uganda but raised here. “We have bad people who’ve been here a long time,” Trump said. “Many of them were born here.”

That’s not dog-whistle racism. That’s bullhorn fascism.

And we’ve seen it before. In 1915, Woodrow Wilson hosted a screening of The Birth of a Nation at the White House — a film that mythologized the Ku Klux Klan and cast Black men as monsters. Today, we have executive orders instead of film reels, ICE instead of white hoods. But the effect is the same: rewrite the rules of belonging.

Trump’s second term has one goal — to finish what the first started. Project 2025, led by the Heritage Foundation, outlines exactly how: purge the civil service, gut constitutional rights, and restore “order.” It’s Confederacy 2.0, with better branding.

The question isn’t whether Juan Crow is back. It’s how far he’ll fly.

Because once you normalize this — once you accept masked agents, detention quotas, and deportation threats for U.S. citizens — it’s already too late.

The crow’s not circling anymore.

It’s perched.

And it’s watching.

Trump Can’t Take a Joke, Because Conservatives Can’t Tell One


Here’s the current state of comedy in America:

An AI-rendered video of naked Trump wandering the desert, narrated by his own junk = NOT FUNNY.

An AI-rendered video of Obama being arrested in handcuffs = Certified MAGA Hilarity™.

That’s the bar now. Or rather, the limbo stick. Welcome to comedy under conservatism, where the only thing lower than the approval rating is the punchline.

Trump and his followers have always had a brittle relationship with humor. They love to dish it out—mock immigrants, minorities, trans people, the disabled, and women—but the moment the joke’s on them? Suddenly it’s “fourth-rate,” “disgusting,” “cancel-worthy.” Especially if it’s animated. Especially if it’s South Park.

Last week, the White House threw a fit over South Park’s portrayal of President Trump—naked, delirious, wandering through a digital wasteland while his genitalia offered commentary like a disgraced televangelist. It was profane. It was grotesque. And yes, it was funny.

Too funny.

Which is why the president responded the only way conservatives know how when comedy makes them uncomfortable: he whined. Loudly.

He called the show desperate, irrelevant, uninspired. Which is odd coming from a man whose jokes usually involve pretending to be a transgender bodybuilder or inventing nicknames like a drunk uncle who just discovered Twitter.

To be clear: this is the same president who just days earlier posted a deepfake video of Barack Obama being arrested. No satire. No disclaimer. No joke. Just a wish-fulfillment fantasy rendered in pixels and fascism.

This is what passes for humor on the right. Punching down. Always down. Never clever, never subversive, never aimed at power—because they are the power now, and power hates a mirror.

And let’s be honest: conservatives suck at comedy. Because they don’t understand it.

One, comedy relies on a setup, a tension-build — and unexpected punchline. Conservatives don’t like the unexpected. Plus, comedy is irreverent, a conservative no-no.

Finally, they confuse cruelty with chortles. They think “owning the libs” is a setup. They mistake bigotry for wit. It’s why every time a right-winger tries to launch a late-night show, it crashes faster than Trump’s reading level.

Remember that Gutfeld disaster? Exactly.

Meanwhile, the people who actually know how to land a joke—Colbert, Behar, Stewart, South Park—are being targeted. Threatened. Canceled. Because they committed the cardinal sin of satire: they laughed at the king.

And this king is a jester in denial.

When your entire ideology is built on victimhood and vengeance, there’s no room for punchlines. Only propaganda.

So yes, Trump is mad about a cartoon. Again. But this isn’t just about South Park. It’s about the conservative war on humor itself.

Because the right doesn’t want to be funny.

They want to be feared.

And that’s the saddest joke of all.