Category Archives: The Contrarian

Yea Tho I Walk Through the Valley of San Bernardino

(photo by Michelle Brown)

True story.

I awoke with some trepidation on Inauguration Day. Perhaps I’d heard ‘bigly’ too often, or feared that Vladimir Putin would do the s(w)earing-in. Whatever the reason, I wondered if a nuclear winter would greet me that morning.

But when I wobbled into the shower and looked out the window, I discovered the world still existed. Not only existed, but was going about its business unperturbed. Rains fell steadily, bringing with them soothing white noise and quenching the state’s drought of six years.

Then the sun broke through, briefly, brilliantly reminding me why we all live here.

And I thought, ‘Maybe I am looking at this whole election thing from the wrong perspective. Maybe I should actually try practicing what I preach. To see glasses half full. To truly appreciate what I can hold, for it’s always fleeting. If we can survive Friday, who’s to say we won’t survive Monday, Tuesday, and the days that follow?

Then I realize:

Shit, I misread the calendar.

Inauguration Day is tommorow.

Operator, Could You Help Me Place This Call?

 

The election is over, if zombies ever die.

Turns out, the atheists were right, though Darwin was mistaken.

And the end may be nigh. But at least it will also be hilarious, as witnessed by these mock phone calls from the Donald to his new BFF, Barack.

Mansfield Woodhouse 1 On Presidential Medals Of Honor And Kazakhstan

2 On Gifts, Candy And The Mexican Border

3 On The Nuclear Codes, Iran And Jackie Chan

4 On Taiwan And The State Of The Union Address

5 On Time’s ‘Person Of The Year’ And The Mexican Wall

xxx

xxxx