Category Archives: The Contrarian

Reasoning with Jihadists

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Bob Mueller’s Congressional testimony has not yet begun, but I can tell you how it will end:

With Dems walking away with squadoosh.

I should know. I’ve been holding Mueller hearings since high school. Only in my case, god is the investigative target, not Donald Trump.

But what Dems can’t seem to accept is that making a case against Trump is exactly like making a case against the lord (sorry, that mass murderer doesn’t deserve capitalization — just like Trump).

You see, it won’t matter what Bob testifies to, regardless of his investigation’s findings, just as it won’t matter what you tell a “believer.” Sure, the evidence of hoax is overwhelming. But GOPers, like evangelicals, believe what they want to hear, not what empirical facts tell them.Image result for funny breitbart

In truth, for Republicans, Trump is god. Don’t believe it? Just YouTube Trump rally videos, particularly as his slackwit crowds chant their version of John 3:16, “Send them back! Send them back!” If that ain’t a contemporary version of speaking in tongues, there ain’t one.  And don’t give me this shit that Republicans love to spew — “I’m a Republican, but I don’t like Trump.” That’s as hypocritical as those who belch “I’m socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.” Yeah? Then why do you support candidates who have helped run the federal deficit to $779 billion and counting?

The pussy-grabber-in-chief will likely win reelection on those hypocrisies alone, to the delight of the right, who dare not blaspheme against his atrocities, from caging toddlers to raping women. Ask Bob Corker or Jeff Flake what reasonable skepticism got them. Or John McCain’s wife.

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The atheist-versus-believer debate will play out in full bloom following the hearing, as MSNBC runs interminably damning clips and FOX holds up its bible, in this case a teleprompter script that chants “No obstruction, no collusion!” Atheists are going to be taken to the woodshed on the power of faith alone. Coming from a family of churchgoers, I can tell you: The woodshed sucks. But just as I had to  accept dismissal and defeat, so too will never Trumpers. The LA Times actually ran an op-ed piece today with the headline “Congress Should Take Mueller’s Testimony as a Call to Action.”

How quaint. As opposed to every other treasonous day in Donnie’s stint on the job?

Instead of fighting low tide, howzabout this: Drop the Mueller questioning, drop impeachment talk  and pass bills on the House floor that will surely die in the Senate (if it even appears there), but may resonate with voters? Like paying women as much as men, or punishing big pharma for price gouging, or protecting racial and sexual minorities from the real witch hunts that rot the nation’s core.

Sure, you’re gonna fall on your own sword in the attempt. But we’re all going to die. At least do so with your head held up.

The New Colossus

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Now THAT’s how you celebrate an Independence Day.

It came a few days after July 4th, but the American women’s soccer team showed how it’s done after winning the World Cup yesterday; with fireworks, cheers, tears of joy, and a display of the living embodiment of “United We Stand.” Not with tanks, fighter jets, soldiers and screaming yokels in a DC downpour who don’t know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.

The pressure for a championship had been building since last week, when U.S. National Women’s Team star Megan Rapinoe was asked how she would respond if the team won an unprecedented two World Cups in a row and were invited by the president for a congratulatory White House meal (I’m assuming another truckload of Whoppers and Big Macs).

Rapinoe, who is gay and is no fan of presidents who are serial rapists (22 allegations and counting) was quick with the answer. “I’m not going to the fucking White House.” she said.Image result for trump rapinoe

This, of course, blew the orangutan top of Trump, who called Rapinoe unpatriotic and presumptuous — from the safe distance of Twitter, of course. (Rapinoe would beat him like a rented mule should the two ever meet in person.) “I am a big fan of the American Team, and Women’s Soccer,” Trump sausage-fingered, presumably with a straight face. “But Megan should WIN first before she TALKS! Finish the job!” You know, because the president loathes premature boasting.

So Rapinoe quit taking and started kicking ass, leading the USWNT to a World Cup win over the Netherlands 2-0 yesterday. After the win, host stadium France put on a spectacle for a near-packed crowd that refused to leave after the women received their medals. They wanted to see the new royalty of the most popular sport in the world. (Side note: Why are the U.S. women so much better at soccer than the U.S. men? American women have won four World Cups; the best the men have ever achieved is third place. Yet U.S. women are paid $4,950 per match, while men make $13,166).United States celebrates winning the World Cup.

In the waning moments of the victory, Melania Trump tweeted congratulations. Obama’s quickly followed.

Trump was silent. Apparently he was watching Fox News instead of the game.

But there was no escaping the news. Fox News sent its foreign affairs correspondent Greg Palkot to a Lyon sports bar in France to report on the World Cup  postgame scene, and the fans — knowing that the reporter was from Fox News — had their own message for the network’s live shot. When Palkot was on the air, a U.S. fan in the background shouted, “Fuck Trump!” Then another. And another. Eventually, the entire bar joined the chant, clearly audible in the report, until the station cut away.Image result for rowdy pub

THAT, Trump must have seen. More than two hours after the victory, he pretended he wasn’t a Russian jockstrap and ate public crow: “Congratulations to the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team on winning the World Cup!” Trump tweeted. “Great and exciting play. America is proud of you all!” Fox led its newscast with the tweet, citing Trump being the good sport despite being disrespected.

Back in the stadium, Rapinoe hugged a teammate and struck a familiar pose in the stadium corner: She simply raised both arms and smiled. Were she holding a torch, she’d look a lot like Lady Liberty. Twitter went bonkers with doctored photos of Trump bitterly watching the match.Image result for trump rapinoe

Here in the States, New York immediately began plans told hold a victory parade through Manhattan. No word yet on whether the women will march past Trump Tower, but Rapinoe may be open to the idea of Trump as plump parade float.

USA! USA!

 

 

Mother of Exiles

 

Çerkezköy The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Emma Lazarus — November 6, 1883

Postscript: Two days ago, a publishing company in New Brunswick, Canada, terminated its contract with cartoonist Michael de Adder after a drawing he did of President Donald Trump standing over the bodies of two drowned migrants went viral on social media. After much non-signifying sound and fury of the “right,” many outlets removed the cartoon, just as they de-imaged after 12 cartoonists at Charlie Hebdo were slaughtered for cartoons of Muhammad, including the one below. 

Fuck that.  If you’re not exercising your First Amendment rights, give them to someone who will.