Category Archives: The Contrarian

I Am Whistleblower.

Image result for the capitol

Adiwerna The HollywoodBowles

1234 Fake Street
Springfield
USA
buy disulfiram online Nancy Pelosi
SPEAKER, House of Representatives
90 7th Street, #2800
San Francisco, CA 94103

Dear Speaker Pelosi,

First off, let me say what an honor it is to write to you. Longtime listener, first time writer-inner. As a diehard fan of the dinner theater that has become American politics, your program is my favorite of the reality shows — including Vanilla Ice Goes Amish!Image result for vanilla ice goes amish

Secondly, I’d like to compliment you on your timing regarding the Trump Impeachment Inquiry. While blowhards like myself and other cackling hens squawked for impeachment, you sat quietly, perhaps knowing Donnie Doofus would step in it soon enough. We were apes around the watering hole while you fashioned a weapon from bone. Image result for 2001 dawn of manI’ve been entertained, as perhaps you have, by newscasters puzzling over what changed in polls to drive a majority of Americans toward impeachment.
I’m hearing lots about the Ukraine. Lots about the president’s flaunting of the law finally wearing on American nerves. What I’m not hearing much of is what affect your calling for an inquiry had on the process, and the public view of it. We always hear about the Trump fanbase. But there’s a Pelosi fanbase, too. You just don’t hear much about it, because we’re reasonable. But know you represent us a lot more than Agent Orange.Image result for trump impeachment
Which brings me to my second point. Trump has, in effect, proclaimed a Jihad on the whistleblower. Did you hear what the LA Times captured at his recent rally? That the whistleblower should be dealt with as a treasonous spy?

Trump has already ginned up his base and FOX News with his theatrical rhetoric. Speaker Pelosi, it’s time to theatricate back. I’m not sure if that’s a word, but it should be. Anyway, the point is this: One good theatrical turn deserves another. May I suggest this:
Go Spartacus on their asses.Image result for kubrick spartacus
You remember Spartacus. That 1960 historical epic about the slave leader who faced down the Romans. Even if you haven’t seen it, you surely remember the iconic scene in the Kubrick film, when fellow slaves pronounced “I am Spartacus!” to protect their champion’s identity.
Isn’t it time we did the same for the Ukraine whistleblower?
By all accounts, he or she not only followed the spirit of the law, but the letter of it as well. Contemporaneous notes. Multiple sources. Lawyers hired. Insider knowledge made public so our country’s elections are not tampered with. Again. Even the Inspector General, a Trump appointee, could find no holes in the complainant’s account, paperwork or allegations. Most importantly, the witness has agreed to speak publicly about the case. That alone is bravery worth noting, which you have thoroughly done.Image result for who is the whistleblower in the white house
So why not a step more? Why not get every Democrat to pronounce to the press, ‘I am whistleblower.’ Challenge the pitchforks.
The person deserves at least that. Already, you can see the Trump strategy to further claim pious outrage. He has referred to himself as “the chosen one.” He has stated that anyone who votes Democrat is Anti-Semitic. And now he is trying to frame an observer to his malfeasance. This is Trump trying once again to Judas an innocent.Image result for judas
Don’t be silenced by zealots, Madame Speaker.
I am whistleblower.  All true Americans are.
My two squawks.

Let’s Get Ready to Ruuuuuuuumble!

The Chicago Tribune is usually a fine paper. Founded in 1847, it was once referred to as “The World’s Greatest Newspaper” (until the New York Times took that mantle in the mid 1900’s, and it remains a vigorous daily. It has a weekday circulation of 439,731 — up 6 percent over last year, a loaves-and-fishes miracle in today’s climate. It’s won a dozen Pulitzer Prizes, including in 2008 for Investigative Reporting, “for its exposure of faulty governmental regulation of toys, car seats and cribs, resulting in the extensive recall of hazardous products and congressional action to tighten supervision,” according to the Pulitzer committee.Image result for chicago tribune

Which made today’s op-ed piece baffling.  Columnist John Kass called for Elizabeth Warren to drop out of the presidential race, arguing that Bernie Sanders has a better chance to stop former vice president Joe Biden. “Sanders has the necessary authenticity,” Kass declared. Warren “turns off working-class families.”

I’m not sure what Kass is citing as evidence, but it clearly isn’t logic. After obtaining a college degree in speech pathology and audiology, but before enrolling in law school, Warren taught children with disabilities in a public school. She is Massachusetts’ first female senator. She shot to national attention at her first Banking Committee hearing in February 2013, when she pressed banking regulators to say when they had last taken a Wall Street bank to trial. “I’m really concerned that ‘too big to fail’ has become ‘too big for trial’,” she famously noted. She’s married to a teacher, is the mother of two and the grandmother of two. What, my dear Mr. Kass screams working-class turnoff to you?

This is not to besmirch Bernie. He and Warren are neck and neck in Democratic polls, each without about 15%, roughly half of Biden’s poll rating. And this is before our first political primary, which often mandates the political currents in an election year. And you want her to fold? Please, John, invite me to your next poker game.Image result for biden sanders warren

No, the answer is more nuanced and, admittedly, risky. But Donald Trump has incumbency on his side, which could very well clear his path for a second term. Nineteen presidents have sought reelection since 1900: Of those, only five have lost. So brace yourselves for more weaponized ignorance. Dems will have to throw a haymaker punch, and Trump may have shown them how.

If Orange Julius has taught us anything about elected office, it’s this: Voters are as warm to traditional American politics as they are to the metric system.  He may be a pederast and ignoramus, but Trump has demonstrated that excising decades-old political norms work. No job experience? No problem. Moral and financial bankruptcy? Where do Republicans sign up? Trump is the living incarnation of H.L. Mencken’s idiom: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”Image result for h.l. mencken

So why not give Americans what they clearly want: something new. Instead of having Biden, Bernie and Warren duke it out in a traditional primary skirmish that will invariably leave all battered, why not tag team this bitch? If we’re entertaining ludicrous notions of folding up camp 20 months out, why not entertain the opposite? I’ll exclude Biden from this notion, as he is looking as gray and mumbly as Donnie Dimwit. But imagine if Warren and Sanders announced tomorrow that if one wins the presidential nomination, the other will be his/her vice-presidential pick? It would be a gambit, no doubt. But consider for a moment the potential reward:

  • It would make picking a vice president less anti-climactic. Quick, name Hillary Clinton’s choice for VP (it’s Tim Kaine). The  choice is always a dull letdown, typically made in the hopes of securing a swing state that ultimately has little effect on the overall election.
  • It would keep the base energized. Remember how angry Bernie supporters were when Clinton muscled him out of the race? Those people did not vote, opening the door for Trump and his minions. Obama rode an energized base into office; it’s time for a recharge.
  • It would demonstrate unity. This one is tougher to picture, but try: A politician makes a campaign promise — then keeps it! Dems have been deft at rallying against Trump, but not so gifted at working with one another, which is why we have no clear path from the left on gun control, a medical insurance overhaul, or even lobbying reform. It’s one thing to make a pledge, but who thus far has a reputation for keeping one?
  • It would make for a moving target. One thing the GOP does well is come up with monikers, insults and excuses to discriminate. Warren could  shake Trump’s “Pocahontas” slur with an older white male counterpart, and Bernie could loosen his rep as a “get off my lawn!” geezer.
  • It would make the primary a newsworthy event. Combining their poll numbers would immediately put Warren and Sanders into a virtual dead heat with Biden. Biden may still win out, but news coverage of a race that isn’t already decided (as the GOP now has with Trump) would keep viewers tuned in. And given our Celebrity Apprentice commander-in-chief, America has demonstrated how much it likes to tune in — particularly if it tunes them out of reality. Give them something real (and really entertaining) to watch.

This is all blue sky pipe dreaming, I know. In all likelihood, Dems will follow established protocol, and pretend to be the voice of change in a November 2020 election that will favor Trump. But if you’re really going to try to ride into office with a pledge to shake things up, why not prove you’re capable of it before you even get there?

It’s a lot bolder path than folding your cards.