Category Archives: Muddled Musings

God’s Secret, as Revealed by (and to) His Angels

 

As a Houdini wannabe — there’s gotta be a term there somewhere — I often find myself scouring YouTube for explanations of how magic tricks are performed.

the magician-1

Some are genius. Some are painful. But all are, to some degree, a mirror.

After a random question from a friend (“How do they levitate on the street?”) and wanting to give an answer more elaborate than “harnesses and prosthetics,” I hopped on the worldwide inter tubes to give a more palatable answer.

float

Instead, I found David Blaine and Criss Angel explaining how religion is created.

It all surrounded Blaine’s pride, Angel’s covetousness, and the lust, anger and gluttony of both.You really couldn’t accuse either of sloth.

The dispute was over levitation, a trick as tried, true and familiar as a rabbit in a hat. More specifically, Blaine’s first of what seems countless specials on TV. Blaine — who never gets enough credit for being an impressive athlete — could not help but include video snippets of fan reaction to his miracles. In particular, his apparent ability to hover a full foot above the ground, with the backs of both feet clearly levitating.

It’s an impressive trick, and the audience reaction truly is entertaining.

Still, it’s a trick. One that generated much publicity, fan interest and, not accidentally, riches.

It was enough to send TV rival Angel over the top. He committed the Original Sin of Magic: revealing the secret. That’s followed by the other Commandment: “Never do a trick twice.”

Instead, Angel did it over infinitely. And in slow motion. And in freeze frame.

Angel cannot help but claim credibility as the true Jesus (or perhaps Mohammad as an alternative faith), offering “when I did this trick” with a clip of his own version. Even when you know the secret, it’s an impressive feat of balance and dexterity, as are all impressive public performances.

Watch the videos back-to-back, and you will see how belief is born.

Blaine even slightly resembles the Western version of how God’s tyke looks in the oil paintings.

Humbly in the video, he asks common folk to look at his feet. Suddenly, he floats above the earth, sending witnesses into awestruck wonder. Some scream. One woman nearly faints. Former NFL star Deion Sanders literally runs away, ducking into an alley as he covers his mouth.

The most telling moments, however, come after the trick, as spectators describe what they saw. One interviewee says simply that Blaine briefly flew like Superman. There were no wires, no tricks, no deceptions; there’s just something different about that man. Another witness tries to validate the miracle, saying she’s “read about this,” as if to provide guarantee. She explains that those who are spiritually gifted can harness the energy of the world to defy its physics.

So we have the miracle: the levitation. Or you can replace “levitation” with “rise.” Or replace “rise” with “resurrect.” Whatever your linguistic preference.

We have the witnesses; those who know what they saw.

We have the conversion, as those witnesses explain that what they beheld was not trickery, but something truly supernatural. I wonder if they ever saw Angel’s video. I wonder if they care. Especially Sanders, a veteran of video illusion, who sought out teammates to spread Blaine’s gospel.

deion

Now imagine that none of this was captured on video. Instead, it was handed down for centuries by legend, song and dance by those who would have considered seeing a toaster as foreign and supernatural as a talking snake.

godtoaster

Over time, the dispute over the miracle would become, well, biblical.

The magician rivalry even gave birth to douchebags like this, who seek only to profit — in this case, in views and likes — by claiming clarity in the storm.

Those would be the evangelical proselytizers. The guy even resembles the Western version of those, too.

Now that’s revelation, homes.

Just Don’t Be a Dick About It

 

I recently came across a University of Indiana study that advertisers are increasingly turning to subliminal ads to woo millennials (who knew millennials  had subliminal…anythings?). From sex to software, the study said, an Internet-fed generation increasingly relies on fleeting visual clues for information.

The study wasn’t much of a jaw dropper: Journalism had to do a similar bait-and-switch years ago, cloaking itself as comedy to inform its once-attentive clientele. Hence the rise of politically canny comedians like Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Larry Wilmore and Trevor Noah. Speaking of which: Why do the Republicans not utilize humor? With the exception of Dennis Miller, the GOP is known more for blowhards than belly splitters.

The study found this ad, apparently from the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture and Arousal, to be among the worst offenders:

bread

Beer commercials, it said, remain among the most flagrant. Here’s one from Lowenbrau:

lowenbrau

The most sexist ad of the year, however, went to a fashion site known as Candie’s. Where, the study asked, what the rocket going? And what did that have to do with fashion?

rocket

But the study also gave credit to companies whose primary advertising charm was in cleverness, not sexiness:

FEDEX

fedex

The white space between the ‘E’ and the ‘X’ forms a perfect arrow, suggesting a company moving forward and looking ahead. It’s subtle, but now it’s all I see whenever the logo appears.

GOODWILL

goodwill

The iconic smiling face is in fact the ‘G’ in Goodwill zoomed in an cropped slightly.

THE PITTSBURGH ZOO

pittsburgh zoo
On either side of the tree, the faces of a gorilla and lion appear in white. In many of these examples of hidden symbolism, the ‘secondary’ imagery is often found by looking at the ‘negative space’ of the logo.

BASKIN ROBBINS

baskin robbins

The BR in the Baskin Robbins logo is made of two colours. When you focus on just the pink portion, the number 31 appears, denoting the number of flavors Baskin Robbins offers.

HERSHEY’S KISS

33911_A_01_Kisses_EBU

The tasty Hershey’s Kisses logo is similar to the FedEx logo in that there is a hidden Hershey’s kiss between the ‘K’ and the ‘I’. You might need to tilt your head slightly to the left to really see it.

AMAZON

amazon

My favorite of the bunch. Did you ever notice the arrow from ‘A’ to ‘Z’ in the Amazon logo? The thought is that Amazon carries everything from… well you know the rest. Some say it also forms a slight smiley face.

But I think Amazon killed two birds with a single stone. Sure, there IS an ‘a’ and a ‘z,’ and it certainly looks like a smiley face.

Or maybe Amazon is smiling because it is sitting on its own erection.

Perhaps sex does sell. Whether you’re buying or not.

 

 

 

And the Rockets Red Glare

 

Another Sunday Mass.

This time, a gay Florida nightclub, where 50 people were shot to death and another 50 wounded (by conservative estimate) today.

There’s no reason to expect this shooting to unfold any differently than, say, the Sunday Mass in Charleston.

The sane will say this needs to stop. The confederacy of dunces shall take up arms. And it will dissipate into name-calling in the Twitterverse like so many roman candles on a July 4 eve.

But one day, shootings like this will ricochet back into the TNT bin. It has to, simply by the law of averages.

Because, unlike a Baptist church or elementary school, the Florida shooting puts the right to bear arms in the crosshairs of the right to build walls.

After all, deporting American Muslims is suddenly a presidential issue, yes Mr. Trump? I’m assuming deportations must be preceded by the disarming of Americans, as the Second Amendment makes no mention of race.

Those fears are about to share a dance card.

In the meantime, where’s the Bernie Sanders-like enthusiasm for liberal intervention? Not even a unified call to get a national learner’s permit, like a car? Maybe that doesn’t reach the right demographic.

But one day, shootings like this will. Two centuries of U.S. democracy suggest that. From women’s rights to civil rights to the gay rights literally under fire about 2 a.m. today, the branches of justice eventually, inexorably, lean left.

It’s simply a matter of time before they provide ample cover.