Category Archives: Muddled Musings

The Irony Age

Irony a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning. b : a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony. c : an ironic expression or utterance.

Inlineimage 1

There are, however, stop signs.

cid:image022.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

We’re gonna need a floatable boat.

cid:image024.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

Maybe smoke alarms for the electric chair?

Inlineimage 2

I thought the Republican tilted right

cid:image026.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

Thankfully, there were no explosions of flavor.

cid:image027.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

One way to get people to use mass transportation.

cid:image028.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

It does, however, cut glue use.

cid:image029.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

Should have included a ‘No littering ‘ addendum.

cid:image030.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

On the plus side, he aced the written test.

cid:image032.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

Help yourself to the invisible seashells.

cid:image034.jpg@01d28622.434fa9b0

And try their carbon monoxide oxygen tanks!

cid:image037.jpg@01d28e5d.ae9af7e0

Some people are so literal.

Related image

You should see their medical ollege.

(From HB photo editor Earl Troglin)

And the most ironic butchering song of all time:

We’re the Kids in America

declaration of independence

No, that rumble you heard today was not the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come to level Los Angeles for its gay marriages, legal weed or traffic. Just an earthquake. Sorry Donnie and the Believers

And since Mother Nature got the party going early, lets sync with her with some fireworks and Factslaps to commemorate the immigrants who left an oppressive government, risked and lost lives to cross hostile borders, and finally sought asylum in the home of the free. Sound familiar?

  • http://childpsychiatryassociates.com/ Thomas Jefferson was the main author of the Declaration of Independence. Four others were also on the committee: Roger Sherman, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Robert Livingston.image
  • John Hancock was the first person to sign the Declaration of Independence. He made his mark in the center and it’s the largest signature on the document, likely because he was President of Congress at the time, according to the National Archives.john hancock signature
  • Independence Day should have been celebrated on July 2, 1776. Although the document was dated July 4, congress actually voted for independence from Great Britain two days prior on July 2, 1776. It apparently wasn’t signed by everyone until August 2, 1776.
  • John Adams wrote a letter to his wife about how memorable Independence Day would be in American history. He was obviously right — in his letter, he said the day should be celebrated with parades, bonfires, and fireworks.image
  • The Pennsylvania Evening Post was the first newspaper to print the Declaration. It came out in the newspaper on July 6, 1776 for everyone to see, after a local printer named John Dunlap produced copies of the declaration’s manuscript.image
  • An estimated 2.5 million people lived in the nation in July 1776. As of July 2017, about 325.7 million people live in the U.S., according to the United States Census.
  • Three presidents who signed the Declaration of Independence died on July 4. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826 — on the 50th anniversary of the country’s independence. James Monroe died five years later on July 4, 1831.
  • Independence Day was once celebrated on July 5. The holiday fell on a Sunday in 1779, so the country celebrated on July 5th instead.4th of july parade
  • U.S. soldiers got a special treat on the 4th of July in 1778. George Washington helped the troops celebrate by allowing them a double ration of rum, according to Live Science.
  • Americans spend over $1 billion on fireworks every year. According to the American Pyrotechnics Association, the numbers continue to go up every year. The biggest celebration is the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks show, which takes over 8,000 hours to prepare.fireworks show
  • There are 33 places in the United States with the word “liberty” in their names. According to the U.S. Census, four of them are counties — Georgia, Florida, Montana, and Texas have a Liberty County.
  • It didn’t become a federal holiday until 1870. It took nearly 100 years for it to be recognized as such, but when it finally happened it was up in the ranks with Christmas and a few other holidays.kids on 4th of july
  •  Around 150 million hot dogs are consumed on Fourth of July. According to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, that’s enough dogs to stretch from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles more than five times.Image result for hot dog july 4

Better Left Unwritten

 

Today’s journalism lesson comes from HB correspondent Earl Troglin. The topic: redundant sentencing.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

And a peanut shell or two.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

You should see the hamburgers. The size of Buicks.

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/funny-pointless-signs-1-591c319e0afe1__700.jpg

On a separate note, ice is cold.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

But when is reading time?

unny-captain-obvious-signs

Risks include cartoon visual effects.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

But the penthouse IS in the basement.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

And for god’s sake, don’t spin.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

And do not eat the fire.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

Well duh. It’s a pinball machine.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

Except to tunnel out of the office building.

unny-captain-obvious-signs

What’s your data?

http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/591c30fa0253d_kgpp8krt9wxy__700.jpg

Why did you ruin the ending?