Category Archives: Muddled Musings

A Roze by Any Other Name is Still Misspelt

http://littlemagonline.com/tag/halston/ As if the politica weren’t evidence enough, the case for spell-check:

crushed peppers container reading cruch papers
Even better than their other pizza topping, paperonly.
Cream cheese container reading "cheam creems"
Great on a bagel, but try the locks.
ketchup bottle reading ketchap
I get the duality of Man concept, but what about catsap?
fire extinguisher horribly mispelled
Break in case of excessive “X’s”
I go for the cramel lattay.
Shopping cart reading "garbich"
Hey, that’s recyclabchle!
Smoke alarm reading "smork alam"
Smorksy the Bear says only you can prevent alam abuse.
Spinach container reading "spinch"
Better than the ickberg lettuce.
Sprinkles container reading "ranibow sprimkle"
I think that pizza shop went into the ice cream biz.
Chicken nuggets container labeled "chicken nutguts"
Is that a fancy word for its balls?
Oatmeal container labeled "oatmeat"
I KNEW those vegans were full of shit.
Soap dispenser labeled "hand soup"
You should try their face salad.
Sign reading "scarmmbled eggs"
They all look so good. One Jelly Ass, please.
Sign reading "no smorking"
And no shit, no service.
Sign reading "dumsticks & thighs"
The smartsticks are better.
sign reading chocolate mouse
It really is the tastiest mammal.
Sign reading "belssed"
When God punks you.
Paper towel dispenser labeled "napkings"
I guess the pandemic made it royalty.
Milk dispenser labeled "skin milk"
Try the brain shake!
Mashed potatoes with a sign labeled "marsh potao"
Tastes a bit swampy.

We Replicants of Apocalypse Valley

Buckow The Tyger

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their spears
And water’d heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

— William Blake, 1794

When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Pepperoni pizza slice

In honor of National Pizza Day, we’re cutting a slice of FactSlaps, mozzarella edition:

  • 350 slices of pizza are eaten each second in the U.S.
Homemade Pepperoni Pizza Recipe | SimplyRecipes.com
  • The first pizza is thought to be invented in Naples during the early 1500s.
Naples italy
  • The first documented pizzeria in the world was open in Port’Alba in Naples, Italy during the late 1800s.
Brick oven pizza
  • The first pizzeria in America was Lombardi’s in New York City in 1905.
Lombardis pizza
  • About 13 percent of Americans eat pizza on any given day.
Couple eating pizza
  • Consumption of pizza has increased American’s consumption of cheese by 41 percent since 1995.
Parmesan and grater
  • The first known documentation of the word “pizza” is from 997 A.D.
Pizza
  • The world record for the largest pizza is 122 feet, 8 inches in diameter.
worlds largest pizza
  • Common pizza toppings in Japan include squid and mayo.
Mayo
  • ‘Happy’ Pizza in Cambodia is cooked with marijuana.
Smiling man in sunglasses
  • In Scotland, deep-fried pizza is a common choice.
Deep fryer
  • NASA funded & tested a 3D printer that can make pizza for astronauts.
3d printer
  • One 18-inch pizza gives you more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas.
Veggie pizza