Author Archives: Scott Bowles

All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

correctly It happened in the ga-ga pit.

The six-year-old first-grader was playing ga-ga ball with his classmates at his elementary school in Gillett, Wisconsin, about 25 miles north of Green Bay. Ga-ga ball is a little like dodgeball, only kids have to aim at the waist or lower (Where were these academics when I needed them? I still remember Phil Agby in middle school throwing a rubber ball at classmates’ heads at approximately 425 miles an hour.).

During the game, the boy ran his tongue over the squish-tooth that had dangled perilously by a strand from his youngling gums. Now, though, all he felt was a gap and the trickle of blood that ran from the newly-extracted chomper. The game was halted, and kids began to scour the ga-ga pit for the tooth. Then parents joined in. Teachers, too. Nothing. Maybe he swallowed it. Maybe it joined the innumerable pebbles in the pit. Regardless, it may as well have dropped into the Atlantic, because there was no recovering the missing enamel. Image result for first grader missing front tooth

The boy was more than a little distraught. Like any good capitalist, he knew that tooth was worth cold hard cash under his pillow. No tooth, no money. And good luck catching the fairy to explain your predicament in person; that enchanted benefactor was as slippery as Santa.

Enter Curt Angeli, the principal at Gillett Elementary. Image result for Curt Angeli, the principal at Gillett ElementaryAfter seeing the boy in tears, he called the child’s parents and suggested an unorthodox psychological approach to lift the boy’s spirits. They delightedly approved. A few hours later, the boy came home with an official note from the principal. On school letterhead, no less. This is what is read:

“Dear Tooth Fairy, Today (the student) lost a tooth while playing outside at recess. Unfortunately, it was lost in our ga-ga pit, and despite the valiant efforts of an intrepid search team, we were unable to recover the tooth.

“As a trained principal and hobby dentist, I can verify that there definitely is a gap in (his) teeth that was not there this morning when he came in.

“Please accept this letter as official verification of a lost tooth and provide the standard monetary exchange rate you normally use for a real tooth.

“If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at the address above.

Sincerely,

Curt Angeli, Principal, Gillett Elementary School

The boy put the note under his pillow that night and found a dollar bill in its place the next morning. A couple Facebook posts later, and Curt Angeli became Curt Angelic.

And who couldn’t use a dose of that?

 

Do Not Go Humorlessly into That Good Night

I’ve never understood why funerals need be such glum affairs. Personally, I want to be cremated and have my ashes sent evenly to medical colleges across the country. I also want a dub step contest.

But my sense of mirth pales in comparison to Shay Bradley, an Irish Defense Force veteran who passed into the great beyond with perhaps the greatest practical joke in funereal history. I doff my plague mask to you, sir.

“Fire in the Hole, Bitch.”

Image result for el camino breaking bad

One of the beauties of Breaking Bad TV series was that no truth occurred without consequences: dead bodies needed disposing; stolen money had to be laundered; sins did not go unpunished.

And so it goes with El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, the searing new film from Netflix and series creator Vince Gilligan. Taught, tense and forever-time-hopping, Camino is a fitting bookend to one of the finest shows ever on television.

Written and directed by Gilligan, Camino deftly maintains the momentum of the series, even though it ended six years ago, thanks to star Aaron Paul, who always gave the show its sense of levity and, despite being a meth-sling dope dealer, likability as Jesse Pinkman. Despite some missteps on the big screen recently like Need for Speed, Paul demonstrates his range again in Camino. The movie looks terrific, sounds great and if you’re a fan, is filled with references and cameos that are sure to amuse show diehards.Image result for el camino breaking bad

Like many Breaking Bad episodes, Camino picks up immediately where the last scene left off. In this case, its aftermath of the 2013 Breaking Bad finale, with Jesse driving away from the bloodbath that left a lot of neo-Nazis, and also Bryan Cranston’s Walter White, dead. While some series viewers may have assumed Jesse drove off into the sunset, true Breaking Bad fans know the series settles for no such tropes. Jesse remains a fugitive in Camino, on the run from both cops and criminals, who are  sometimes hard to tell apart.

Bad was always a stylish thriller, and in Camino, Gilligan directs just as energetically with a bigger-looking budget and flashier pyrotechnics. In many ways, Camino serves both a reunion show and an alternative series finale (although the original one was terrific).Image result for el camino breaking bad

But make no mistake: with Walt left for dead in the Bad finale, Camino is Jesse’s story through and through. Flashbacks allow dead favorites like mentor Mike (Jonathan Banks), girlfriend Jane (Krysten Ritter), and Walt himself prod Jesse toward a lifestyle change: “Only you can decide what’s best for you,” one character advises him.

But what’s best, Jesse and Camino decide, is a little retribution sprinkled with a lot of freedom. It’s a simple theme, and fodder for countless films and TV series. But in Gilligan’s hands, you’ll find little that resembles a stereotypical film or series.

Part of what makes Camino hum is not the continuation of a compelling story, but the unexpected prequel-izing it does with characters we thought we knew, particularly Skinny Pete (Charles Baker) and Todd (Jesse Plemons). We knew Pete was surprisingly sophisticated (he once memorably  tickled the ivories in a BB episode), but Camino establishes him as a near-paternal friend. Baker is mesmerizing; at a little over two hours, it’s a shame Camino couldn’t fit him into more scenes.Image result for skinny pete play piano

The true jaw-dropper, though, is Plemons (Fargo TV series). Todd was always an only-half-detestable killer who was hardly one of the series’ multiple evil geniuses. Here, though, his sociopathic tendencies are on full display. In one scene, he sings the virtues of a bystander he killed without a second thought. In another, Plemons provides the funniest scene in the movie as he drives down the highway after an atrocity, crooning to Dr. Hook’s Sharing the Night Together, signaling like a kid for a passing big rig to sound its horn.Image result for el camino jesse plemons

Camino‘s final showdown lets Gilligan indulge his love of movie Westerns, which always informed the series. It may feel reminiscent of the show’s final episode, Felina, with its meticulous planning and execution. But, like Felina, it’s an example of the pinpoint technical proficiency and directing that runs through Camino.

If any elements of the movie disappoints fans, it may be the lack of surprises and plot twists. But this is, after all, supposed to be Breaking Bad’s final exit. Gilligan couldn’t afford any more questions that needed answers.

Instead, Camino‘s larger purpose may be for us to moderate our perspective about the show. Gilligan always described the series as Mr. Chips becomes Scarface, which was always Walter’s story. But perhaps Gilligan realized just how much narrative truly belonged to Jesse. And if you believed Jesse got short shrift in the finale, Camino goes a long way to making that narrative equitable. Either way, fans will remember just how good it can feel to break bad.