The HollywoodBowles
1234 Fake Street
Springfield
USA
Nancy Pelosi
SPEAKER, House of Representatives
90 7th Street, #2800
San Francisco, CA 94103
Dear Speaker Pelosi,
First off, let me say what an honor it is to write to you. Longtime listener, first time writer-inner. As a diehard fan of the dinner theater that has become American politics, your program is my favorite of the reality shows — including Vanilla Ice Goes Amish!
Secondly, I’d like to compliment you on your timing regarding the Trump Impeachment Inquiry. While blowhards like myself and other cackling hens squawked for impeachment, you sat quietly, perhaps knowing Donnie Doofus would step in it soon enough. We were apes around the watering hole while you fashioned a weapon from bone. 
I’ve been entertained, as perhaps you have, by newscasters puzzling over what changed in polls to drive a majority of Americans toward impeachment.
I’ve been entertained, as perhaps you have, by newscasters puzzling over what changed in polls to drive a majority of Americans toward impeachment.I’m hearing lots about the Ukraine. Lots about the president’s flaunting of the law finally wearing on American nerves. What I’m not hearing much of is what affect your calling for an inquiry had on the process, and the public view of it. We always hear about the Trump fanbase. But there’s a Pelosi fanbase, too. You just don’t hear much about it, because we’re reasonable. But know you represent us a lot more than Agent Orange.
Which brings me to my second point. Trump has, in effect, proclaimed a Jihad on the whistleblower. Did you hear what the LA Times captured at his recent rally? That the whistleblower should be dealt with as a treasonous spy?
Trump has already ginned up his base and FOX News with his theatrical rhetoric. Speaker Pelosi, it’s time to theatricate back. I’m not sure if that’s a word, but it should be. Anyway, the point is this: One good theatrical turn deserves another. May I suggest this:
Go Spartacus on their asses.
You remember Spartacus. That 1960 historical epic about the slave leader who faced down the Romans. Even if you haven’t seen it, you surely remember the iconic scene in the Kubrick film, when fellow slaves pronounced “I am Spartacus!” to protect their champion’s identity.
Isn’t it time we did the same for the Ukraine whistleblower?
By all accounts, he or she not only followed the spirit of the law, but the letter of it as well. Contemporaneous notes. Multiple sources. Lawyers hired. Insider knowledge made public so our country’s elections are not tampered with. Again. Even the Inspector General, a Trump appointee, could find no holes in the complainant’s account, paperwork or allegations. Most importantly, the witness has agreed to speak publicly about the case. That alone is bravery worth noting, which you have thoroughly done.
So why not a step more? Why not get every Democrat to pronounce to the press, ‘I am whistleblower.’ Challenge the pitchforks.
The person deserves at least that. Already, you can see the Trump strategy to further claim pious outrage. He has referred to himself as “the chosen one.” He has stated that anyone who votes Democrat is Anti-Semitic. And now he is trying to frame an observer to his malfeasance. This is Trump trying once again to Judas an innocent.
Don’t be silenced by zealots, Madame Speaker.
I am whistleblower. All true Americans are.
My two squawks.
