Tag Archives: Star Wars

How Star Wars Succumbed to the Dark Side

(Warning: Spoilers abound in this far away galaxy…)

And so, great empires fall and are forgotten.

No, not that Empire. Not the one with Death Stars and Stormtroopers and Darth Sinisters. That Empire didn’t fall. It exploded into a million incongruous pieces in a profitgasm called Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, which opened this weekend and supposedly ended the nine-chapter saga that began four decades years ago.

No, it’s the Star Wars Hollywood universe itself that’s collapsed, black holing into a void that once held brilliant stars and (storytelling) order but now vacuums any child or merchandising opportunity into its vortex before crushing it into a Disney Singularity.

Its demise came from the very thing Star Wars — a straight-laced Western at its core — tried desperately to avoid: Irony.

  • How ironic that a franchise built by a rebel alliance (which included Coppola, Spielberg and Scorsese) would ultimately fall to an Emperic Studio.
  • How ironic that the father of the Jedi Universe, George Lucas, would sell himself to the Dark Side for $4.05 billion in Disney stocks and cash. (Apparently, hell doesn’t take Visa.)
  • How ironic that in the ashes of what remain of the Star Wars/Disney empire, the most iconic  survivor of the Resistance hearkens back decades, both in technology and sentiment: a Yoda Muppet that gives a Star Wars TV show its sole sense of heart.Image result for baby yoda boba frick

In a rare confluence of hubris, both critics and fanboys agreed the latest film suffered from a singular weakness: It apparently sucks.

I can’t say for sure. I haven’t seen it. In truth, the franchise faded for me and legions of original fans on May 25, 1983, the day Return of the Jedi was released. As we watched credits roll, the Empire finally fell and fans went home relatively satisfied with the trilogy (though purists could see the Ewoks were a cutesy harbinger of peril).Image result for furry animals in return of the jedi

Still, we still showed up for the second trilogy, for old times’ sake. And some diehards (like Mikey) even defended Lucas’ newest triplets, though they were cinematically stillborn).Image result for darth maul

Many of us, though, passed on the franchise as of Nov. 30, 2012, when Disney bought all Star Wars rights. Add to that Disney’s acquisition of Marvel and Pixar, and Emperor Palpatine couldn’t hope for more control over a universe.Image result for palpatine

But with the purchases came an odd Faustian bargain for the freshman franchises: Abide by Disney’s story arc, regardless of film genre, or lose your theme park ride.

The Disney story arc goes something like this: A tranquil world filled with tranquil denizens is threatened by the tyranny of Deadly Sin. Our denizens must then become a multi-cultural (ideally multiracial) familial tribe to defeat the evil band of Hoarders. Cue happy score.

Disney’s anti-introversion messaging is easiest to spot in Marvel comic-book movies. Remember when Superman lived in a Fortress of Solitude? Remember when Iron Man toiled alone and anxious in his ocean-view mansion? Now, even Ant-Man can’t get a flick without a Wasp sidekick. And Tony? He became starting quarterback for The Avengers.Image result for marvel movies

Star Wars could have been the counter intuitive option to that. Sure, it was a hodgepodge of misfit toys. But from the moment Luke Skywalker gazed into a double sunset in 1977 on Tatooine, the Star Wars odyssey has been about the strength of resolve that resides in a single soul. Everyone in the audience was Luke Skywalker, and he us. Even if it did look like he ran around in linen pajamas.

Still, that was okay. We were in pajamas too.

But when Luke nonchalantly chucked his lightsaber in 2017’s penultimate movie, The Last Jedi, the viewing Force awakened: Fans eviscerated director Rian Johnson for betraying both film and franchise. They boycotted the Star Wars spinoff, Solo. And their blood was still boiled by the time Skywalker was dropped like a doomed lobster. YouTube nearly broke. Fans posted vitriolic reviews that had to be divided in chapters to contain all the bile. One reviewer’s critique was more funereal than fuming, with Adagio for Strings wafting in the background.

Not that Disney needs our tears. The film still grossed a half-billion worldwide in its first week, and The Mandalorian, a live action show, will still be the touchstone for the emerging Disney+’s streaming service.

But Skywalker was to be the film that bowed gracefully from the silver screen — and our memories. Instead, it served as a mirror for how much we’ve grown. And lost. Digital effects had long ago replaced puppets and miniatures. Tunisia was replaced by green screens. By the turn of the millennium, Star Wars wasn’t even a film that you could say was beautifully shot. Rather, it had beautiful algorithms. The software certainly was certainly elegant.

Alas, that misses the story’s point. Perhaps it had to. Nostalgia is like aiming for the bullseye of an invisible dartboard. Even if you hit it, you’ll need at least 40 years to recreate that astounding shot. Maybe longer.

Maybe, a long time from now in a mindset far, far away, we’ll yearn for space adventure again. Maybe we’ll want a plucky hero that squares off against the Machine. Maybe we’ll once more send out an urgent distress call: “Help us, Yoda Muppet, you’re our only hope.”

 

 

 

 

 

After Summer Slide, Hollywood Looks for Fall Comeback

Image result for hollywood fall 2019 preview movies

Hollywood could use a hero. After a forgettable summer at the box office, the movie industry is looking for an autumn resurgence in ticket sales. With the box office at $3.9 billion for summer 2019, Hollywood registered its second-worst season in theaters in 12 years. And coming back to match last year’s pace won’t be easy.

The film industry has less than four months to bring in about $3 billion in ticket sales if it hopes to tally more than $11 billion for 2019. For the past four years, movies in the U.S. have rung up at least $11 billion annually.

But that string is in jeopardy this year, even with the success of Avengers: Endgame, the highest-grossing film in Hollywood history. Endgame raked in $858 million in ticket sales, or more than a quarter of all summer ticket sales. And with no clear cinematic juggernaut on the horizon, studios will be  hard-pressed to keep its pace at the box office.

“Summer 2019 started off strong thanks to Avengers: Endgame hitting theaters in late April, but struggled thereafter, as tentpole after tentpole performed below expectations at the box office,” noted Sandy Schaefer of ScreenRant. “There were still a few hits along the way (John Wick 3, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Lion King), but in general audiences seemed a bit underwhelmed by what Hollywood had on the menu. Studios are no doubt hoping for a better turnout over the next four months.”

To create one, studios are bringing several high-profile films to theaters for autumn, including:

Joker (Oct. 4)Image result for joker movie

Joaquin Phoenix plays wannabe stand-up comedian Arthur Fleck in this origins story about Batman’s perennial rival. Warner Bros. is serious about making Joker an awards contender (the studio screened it at this year’s Toronto and Venice’s film festivals ahead of its October release. Director Todd Phillips “is certainly a ways away from his Hangover trilogy days with this Scorseseian crime drama,” Schaefer says. ,”It’s anyone’s guess as to how comic book fans (or viewers in general) will respond to this one.”

Gemini Man (Oct. 11)Image result for gemini man

Will Smith play elite assassin Henry Brogan, who is preparing to retire, when he’s suddenly targeted and pursued by his deadliest opponent yet: his younger clone. “It’s the latest ambitious offering from director Ang Lee, whose previous ‘experiments’ have always been compelling, even when they’re only partly-successful,” Schaefer says. “That should remain the case here.”

Terminator: Dark Fate (Nov. 1)Image result for terminator: dark fate

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Edward Furlong reteam in this tale of Sarah Connor joining forces with a soldier from the future to protect a young woman who’s being hunted by a time-traveling Terminator. “Terminator fans have already been burned by the promise of a fresh start for the series twice, but maybe – just maybe – third time will be the charm for this struggling property,” Schaefer posits.

Doctor Sleep (Nov. 8)Image result for doctor sleep

Set 40 years after his terrifying stay at the Overlook Hotel, Dan Torrance (Ewan McGregor) helps a teenager who’s targeted by a dangerous cult for her own “shining” abilities. Judging by the marketing, Doctor Sleep has the makings of an engaging continuation of (director Mike) Flanagan’s ongoing exploration of trauma and grief through the horror genre,” Schaefer says. “That it also salutes Stanley Kubrick’s Shining movie is just icing on the cake in some ways.”

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Dec. 20)Image result for star wars the rise of skywalker

he Skywalker Saga draws to a close as Rey, Finn, and Poe Dameron fight back against Kylo Ren and the forces of the First Order. “It’s the final chapter in the story of the Skywalker clan, and needs to leave audiences clamoring for more when the galaxy far, far away returns three years from now for its first ever post-Skywalker narrative,” Schaefer notes. She points out the movie is already “keeping fans busy as ever with their speculation in the meantime (especially where it concerns Palpatine’s unexpected return from the grave).”

While studios have fallen behind last year’s record-setting ticket sales, Schaefer believes there are enough big guns in the lineup to take up the slack. “October and November will be loaded with even more franchise offerings than usual, in addition to a number of director-driven films aiming to make some noise.” she says.  “Finally, December will round things out with the now-customary assortment of potential crowd-pleasers and prestige releases.”

All the President’s Minions

 

It’s difficult to gauge the performance of news media during a Trump administration.

On the one hand, you’d be hard pressed to find a president whose missteps and contradictions are so quickly and clearly pointed out. Americans know more about health care, tax reform and immigration policy than any American public before it. Quick: you know the name Betsy Devos, right? Now name another education secretary, of any administration, in American history.

So it’s hard to argue the press has not made us a more informed populous. The question is what do we do with all that information.

Certainly, television news does not know. This week, MSNBC aired a story on how new polls suggest that Donald Trump would have beaten  Hillary Clinton if the presidential election were held today.

When you get into hypothetical journalism to fill a 24-hour news cycle, you’re screwed. Why not a piece on who could milk a goat faster? And interesting that the network would tout another election poll, which proved about as accurate as Miss Cleo after a bender. I’m surprised the network didn’t hawk the story with a teaser that said: “Remember those inaccurate home-phone polls of last year? Well there’s a new study out…” 

Instead, and thankfully, late night TV has taken on the role as participatory journalist. And while Stephen Colbert may live to regret saying that  Trump’s mouth as a “cock holster for Vladimir Putin,” other outlets are scoring with  political coverage that is more observational than offensive.

Take The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, a show that has improved by leaps and bounds over last year’s rocky debut. Earlier in the year, as Sean Spicer brought a stack of files to a press conference to show all the work his boss was putting into the job, it a Daily Show clip demonstrated there was nary a label on a single file.

And this week, Noah scored with a smart look at the Congressional response to United Airlines forcibly removing an overbooked passenger. He played clip after clip of lawmakers complaining about the discomfort of air travel. One compared it to riding on a “civil rights bus.”

Noah rightfully lost his shit,  noting that over the same weekend, three black motorists were shot. But no Congressional hearing. So he an anchor Roy Wood Jr. introduced a genius idea to protect black pedestrians: A sandwich board shaped like a 747.

But it was Seth Meyers (the heir apparent to Jon Stewart) who got off the best shot: “The House of Representatives narrowly passed the repeal of Obamacare Thursday. Also narrowly passing: Grandma.”

Journalism isn’t dead. It’s just practicing its stand-up.

And now, that:

  • Iran has the highest rate of nose surgery in the world per capita, since the mandatory hijab tend to highlight the female face.
  • Cinco de Mayo is not that important in Mexico and is mainly celebrated only in the state of Puebla.
  • An anonymous serial killer was arrested in 2005 after sending a floppy disk with his name and church stored on it. He asked police if they could trace a floppy disk and they said “no.”
  • Wasp used to be “waps,” while bird used to be “brid” and horse used to be “hros.” Pronunciation errors made the English language what it is today.
  • The English language has 3,000 words for “drunk.”
  • 70% of people will live in cities by 2050.
  • There are 1,459 people in Peru named after Star Wars characters.