“We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.” — Thomas Jefferson
Always be heard.
Tag Archives: midterms
The Gippeto Syndrome
A good lie is better than a bad truth.
Don’t believe it? Your wife buys a dress that looks more like a mumu for a manatee. “Does this make me look fat?” she asks you. The prosecution rests.
Stupidly, I’ve passed that tidbit on to several people, including my mother. Now every time I open my mouth, I can see the suspicion in their eyes, like I’m about to offer them investment opportunities in Nigerian royalty (which is bullshit; New York bridges are my wares of choice).
We won’t need to worry about deception, though, on midterm Tuesday. You see, a bad lie is also better than a bad truth, making this one of the most honest elections America will ever hold.
I know it’s counter-intuitive, but consider: Our president claims he had the largest inauguration crowd in history. That tells us he didn’t. That he knows the best words. That tells us he doesn’t. That he doesn’t collude for profit. We know that’s nyet true. The Washington Post recently reported that Trump “has made 6,420 false or misleading claims over 649 days.”
First, wow. That takes focus.
Second, that’s actually a blessing for us. If you know someone abhors truth, you’re armed with a double-negative knowledge of truth. If, say, Trump claims in his rallies that the South American caravan poses an imminent national security risk, we know that it must not. If Trump says he believes the Saudi crown prince knew nothing of the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, then we know he ordered the hit. 
Through his habitual lying, we get a crystal clear portrait of the man — and his party.
This election, the divisions are equally clear, the choices similarly stark. How do you feel about the wall? Republicans and Democrats are clear on the issue. Same with #metoo, white nationalism, immigration, abortion, gay rights, and yaddy. Trump’s diarrhea of the mouth has forced Republicans to take a stand, pick a side (the only Republican to challenge the party leader is dead). 
This is how elections should be. Not clouded by mealy-mouthed lackeys hoping not to offend. But offering the electorate a chance to pick a team, suit up and clash on the field — well aware of the other team’s playbook and strategy.
Which leads to the most frightening truth about playing poker with the cards face up: Whatever the outcome, we have it coming.
And now for some good truths, Factslaps:
- Netflix is responsible for 15% of global Internet traffic.
- In 2013, Disney tried to trademark the phrase “Día de Los Muertos,” a Mexican holiday.
- Emma Morano, the last person born in the 1800s, died in 2017 at the age of 117.
- In 2017, a 10-year-old boy in China spent 2 years collecting 160,000 plastic bottles, raising $2,700. He donated all this money to orphans of AIDS victims.
- The genome of wheat is five times larger than the human genome.
- China gets a new billionaire every five days.
- The Czech general Jan Zizka ordered his skin to be turned into a war drum after his death. It was beaten at times of national emergency.
And Into the Void
Whew. That was close.
We almost didn’t survive our final round of political chemotherapy: The confirmation today of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.
Please understand: I don’t think Kavanaugh should be anywhere near a federal bench. Or a public bench near a bar, for that matter. Brett Kavanaugh deserves to be a stunt groin in kung fu movies.
But his confirmation was critical to diagnosing just how serious our cancer is. We ingested a president that brags of taking women by the vagina. Not considering the personal allegations, Kavanaugh’s sworn testimony that he believes that one of America’s two political parties orchestrates “hit jobs” demonstrated how metastatic our illness. So long Roe v. Wade and affirmative action. Your runs were noble.
But it’s best for Kavanaugh’s confirmation to come a month before the midterms. (It would have been better if Jeff Flake didn’t feign being conflicted and waste America’s time with a GOP investigation of itself). Still, for a news cycle that has the attention of a carnival goldfish, the confirmation will seem a gazy recollection. (At least for news; not, certainly, anyone who wants an abortion or a job).
So it’s up to us to remember come radiation therapy day Nov. 6. But whatever the outcome, we asked for it.
Who could claim to be swindled? Now all political cards, on both sides, are on the table.
The right was willing — pardon the pun — to shove Kavanaugh’s nomination down our throats, demonstrating where Republicans feel a woman’s place is. That is strategy incarnate: The party is betting that enough women will agree with them, galvanized by an odd support for the judge. A Quinnipiac Poll about the believability of Kavanaugh versus Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, conducted before Saturday’s confirmation turned prophetic:
- 80% of black voters believe Dr. Ford over Kavanaugh, as do 66% of hispanic voters. Only 40% of white voters do.
- When split by gender, 46% of white women believe Dr. Ford and 43% believe Kavanaugh, a statistically insignificant difference.
- Only 37% of white men believe Dr. Ford.
What a snapshot of America.
Of course, the left has plenty of self-inflicted wounds of its own, namely the desire to silence those who disagree with them (is that the serotonin of power?) Most recently, the New Yorker, an otherwise sublime publication, proved itself gutless by disinviting Steve Bannon to its annual “Festival of Ideas” this fall. If that’s not the heavyweight of idea discussions, what is? But celebs threatened to boycott the festival, and Economic Darwinism took over.
New Yorker editor David Remnick quickly disinvited Bannon, saying in a statement: “I don’t want well-meaning readers and staff members to think I’ve ignored their concerns. I’ve thought this through and talked to colleagues — and I’ve reconsidered.” Not to engage in hard questioning because celebs will be offended? Turn in your press badge, motherfucker. 
So the cards are on the table. Both sides are supposedly stoked for battle. #metoo versus #notnow.
How dramatic. Why, it almost feels like a TV show.
