That’s it. I’m turning the car around.
I warned you: If you didn’t stop bickering and playing “he’s touching my side of the seat,” I’d call off the trip to Disney. But you persisted. So now it’s off.
Fucking brats.
Fear not. I don’t have kids. I do, however, have a television. And despite our pleas to government leaders to stop arguing over something as inconsequential as a pile of bricks, to bring an adult into the room, we watched as you continued to call each other names — until 800,000 people were forced to work for free or give up their jobs entirely.
But in truth, there is an adult in the room. He just refuses to come out of the closet.
His name is Addison Mitchell McConnell Jr., Kentucky’s senior Senator and the Senate Majority Leader. At least, that’s his job title.
In reality, he is persona non grata. As Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi dominate headlines and news coverage, McConnell is conspicuously absent from media scrutiny. We keep hearing about the stalemate between Democrats and Republicans, yet nothing about the person who essentially serves as the father of Congress in its entirety. While he’s only a hick senator, McConnell somehow has the power to determine if House bills are even introduced to the Senate floor for debate (thanks a bunch, founding fathers).
That puts the showdown squarely at his feet.
It’s easy (and plausible) to also lay it in front of Trump and Pelosi, who bicker like embittered spouses in a divorce. Yet both have at least attempted to open the government (even if their own agendas drive the attempt). Pelosi has sent two bills to reopen government and debate the wall later. Trump has offered temporary DACA relief for a permanent wall. However empty the offers, they are, at least, offers.
Sure, both are trying to sell the other bridges. But at least they’re feigning what the public (and a majority of Congressional representatives) desire: to give the U.S. government a jump start and revive critical government services.
McConnell isn’t even feigning. His rationale: The president will veto a House bill, so he refuses to bring it to the Senate for debate. That’s like a winless football team scheduled to play an undefeated one. You’re going to lose anyway, so why even take the field?
Any coach who proposed such a tactic would have their ass introduced to the door in nanoseconds. Yet McConnell skates unquestioned, even by colleagues who’d like groups like the TSA, Border Patrol and the Food and Drug Administration paid for services rendered. But the only thing McConnell seems capable of hearing is Trump’s zipper, which brings him immediately to his knees, mouth agape.
How does the cowardice go unchecked? Even the president seems to want a way out, feeling the mounting public resentment of politicians continuing to collect paychecks while their minions remain in indentured servitude (Trump continues to be paid $400,000 a year, while the 579 in Congress still collect $174,000 annually). McConnell, by the way, still brings home a $193,400 paycheck.
That Trump and Pelosi want this argued — even if still ends in stalemate — is patently clear. That McConnell won’t even allow the debate is patently criminal — and an insult to every one of his colleagues.
We in the press need to identify all the culprits, beginning with Sen. jowls. And those in government need to stand up to a deadbeat dad.
Maybe someone could stick this video in one of his neck flaps. Just look what wondrous things can happen when an adult allows a kid to tackle a seemingly impossible task.
