Tag Archives: Herschel Walker

The Argument for Herschel


I’m not usually one for idiots, particularly conservative ones (sorry for the redundancy).

But here, I gotta say: Let dummies reign.

I’m talking, of course, about the runoff between Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker. For a moment, it looked like the race could decide the balance of power in the Senate, and thus control of the Supreme Court.

But Democratic Senator Catherine Cortez Masto held serve in Nevada, making this race more moot than usual at a time when mootness (and muteness) are the soup of the day at America’s political bistro.

So The HollywoodBowles officially endorses Herschel Walker as Senator from the slack-jawed state of Georgia.

Not because he’s the most-qualified candidate, obviously. But because he is the opposite — and a living Scarlet Letter from the Republican Party.

Make no mistake, Georgians: The GOP lawn-jockeyed you with Walker, a pick of such blatant political blaxploitation that it may as well have nominated Dolemite or Petey Wheatstraw. Just as they ventriliqued Sarah Palin to life, they puppet Walker to action.

Never mind he spent a career taking blows to the head. Never mind that he’s a walking fertility clinic. Never mind that, this weekend at a rally, he exclaimed “America is the greatest country in the United States!” Like Dr. Toto — I mean Oz — he was chosen by the hairpiece behind the curtain, which is qualification plenty for conservatives.

Which is why Walker should win. To put on display yet again what Republicans consider stable genius. Just as a Trump presidency was a necessary constitutional enema, so is Walker’s public service. This is what passes muster among today’s conservatives. Consider it an anal bleach, on the house.

Losing to a wontwit would be an unfair fate for Warnock, an ordained minister whose works over the past two years would impress Samson.

But the universe has always been a brutally indifferent place, particularly for dopes and those who find enlightenment in them. Stupid is as stupid does.

So, by all means, Republicans, hoist your candidate high and mighty. For He is the Chosen One’s ornament, a testimony to the will and wisdom you brought to bear in 2016. And may bring back in 2024.

Give this to the dimwits: They’ll do anything to stay on stage. Even step and fetch.