Tag Archives: factslaps

A Murder of Factslaps

This week’s Factslap edition comes inspired by an amazing documentary I caught on my favorite bird (besides Larry), crows:

1. They can solve puzzles: For a study, researchers once assigned a crow a simple puzzle involving eight tasks—picking up objects, moving them, and other complex steps. The crow had never seen them in sequence before. Yet, the crow finished it easily—the first bird to ever accomplish anything like it.

2. Crows can use tools: That earlier study also revealed that crows are capable of using tools. To further test this, researchers at Oxford dropped a small bucket of crow food at the bottom of a long tube and gave a hungry crow a wire. The crow bent the wire to hook the bucket handle and retrieve it.

3. Crows have street smarts: Forget puzzles and tools—crows have real-world skills. The one here, for instance, dropped an unbreakable nut onto the road so a car would run it over. Then he was free to chomp on the edible interior.

4. Some crows can be pricks: Crows will sometimes play cruel pranks. A zookeeper once reported that one repeatedly mimicked the voice of the human who fed the nearby chickens. The chickens would get excited thinking dinner was coming, but that wasn’t the case. Chumps.

5. Crows aren’t limited to bird noises; they’re impressive mimics: Though they typically communicate with each other through squawks and knocking, ravens at the Tower of London have been heard telling tourists to “keep the path.”

6. Crows know how to have fun: Pranks and impressions aren’t the only ways crows have a good time. Videos have emerged from Russia showing crows using cup lids as sleds. Elsewhere, dogs and cats have been known to play games with crows. One time, cameras even caught a crow playing with a ball on ice.

7. A German researcher concluded that crows can recognize themselves in the mirror: This puts the impressive birds in elite company with humans, apes, dolphins, and elephants. But their recognition skills don’t stop there…

8. They can recognize human faces: Researchers at the University of Washington spent months with the birds and, in one test, marked crows like normal. Later, they returned in cavemen masks, attempted an approach, and the crows attacked them. Without the masks, though, the crows didn’t lift a beak.

9. Crows remember their enemies: That study also showed crows remembered their enemies and acted accordingly… with Alfred Hitchcock-style horror beatdowns. It turns out that crows of a feather not only flock together, but they discuss their enemies and then attack them in coordinated dive-bomb assaults.

10. They don’t put their memories to use for just death and destruction, though: Some people have witnessed crows giving gifts to humans they respect. One such occasion saw a murder of crows leaving a little girl these trinkets every time she fed them from her garden.

Daily Mail

11. They have big brains: Studies have illuminated how crows and crows have such killer memories. For starters, these birds have big ol’ hippocampi, the part of the brain responsible for memory. And for good reason…

12. They’re pretty highly evolved: Seed-eating birds like nutcrackers historically needed to remember where they buried seeds or they didn’t eat. It’s an evolutionary trait, which helped explain why another study revealed that crows raised in captivity didn’t have as many hippocampal neurons as wild crows.

13. Some jays have human-like memories: Evidence suggested scrub jays can have episodic memories, the human trait of remembering specific events and when they occurred. These jays remembered all the food they’d hidden, where they’d hidden it, and how long it could last there without spoiling.

14. They’re as smart as apes: Though crows may be smaller in stature, they have similar, if not greater, brain power to primates. Thanks to dense collections of neurons in their forebrains, these birds can carry out some complex, ape-like thinking.

15. Crows are all about family: Mama crows don’t push their young from the nest as soon as they can fly. Grown-up crows actually stick around for awhile and help raise and protect younger birds and newborns.

16. Crows will adopt: Cornell researchers witnessed something both heartbreaking and heartwarming: after an adult crow known simply as RV died of West Nile virus, his children were orphaned. Amazingly, his neighbor and crow friend adopted and cared for the baby crows.

17. They’ll return the favor: Surprisingly, adopted baby crows expressed gratitude for their adoptive crow dad and mom. When the parents birthed new baby crows, the adopted birds, true to crows’ nature, stuck around the nest to help care for them.

18. Crows will spread the love: When it comes to adoption, crows don’t let things like a difference in species cloud their parental instincts. Once, when an orphaned fledgling blue jay showed up to a crow’s nest, researchers witnessed the mother crow feeding him.

19. Studies showed crows can live to be old geezers: The oldest crow ever found in the wild lived for 17 years. Meanwhile, a crow in New York that had been cared for and watched over by humans lived for a whopping 59 years.

20. Crows respect their elders: A 12-year study of a jackdaw community showed older birds earned more respect and power among populations. But that power came with a risk: high-ranking birds lived shorter lives, implying the jackdaw hierarchy was competitive and cutthroat.

21. Observations showed Crows respect their dead, too: Crows prodded a fallen companion with their beaks before retrieving blades of grass and laying them beside the passed-on bird; others have witnessed services in crow and raven communities.

 

The Royal Fuss

 

For a relatively slow news week, it’s been fascinating to see networks juggle the  dominant stories of the weekend: the royal wedding and the Texas high school shooting.

Headlines crawl and split screens shrug as the networks seem to juggle their own conscious. CNN appears particularly torn. It had a thoughtful piece on a public beleaguered by grim news — followed by live reports and video feeds from across the pond. Did we just witness a massive rationalization?

Let’s stick with a few non-agenda facts:

  • Lin Ching Lan is a deaf Taiwanese professional dancer and choreographer who feels the vibrations of music through wooden floors.
  • King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia was shocked when Queen Elizabeth II drove him around her estate, since women couldn’t drive in his country.
  • Catholics in Nicaragua, who observe Lent by abstaining from meat, make meals of armadillo or iguana instead. 
  • Self-driving cars play Grand Theft Auto to learn how to drive better.
  • The record for the most Wimbledon titles is held by Professor Bernard Neal: he was croquet champion 38 times.
  • A cat has been the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years.
  • More than four tons of old U.S. paper money is mulched into compost every day.

 

But I’m No Super Genius…or Are I?

 

Watching cable news lately is a bit like walking into the home of parents with third graders. There’s gonna be crap on the fridge.

Similarly, you’d think Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson had just spawned  a pre-teen after Donald Trump’s fitness “test” at the White House. You can almost see them jostling for fridge real estate, so Junior can see who posted his latest masterwork.

First, try to get that image out of your head. Sorry about that. No one should have to picture either of those fleshy men copulating.

Now, though, consider the awkward position in which that doctor must have found himself, as do all people caught in the orbit of Trump: Utter the ridiculous, or pack. Do even the most ardent Trump supporters believe that, with a few fewer Big Mac and Filet of Fish sandwiches a day, he could live to 200?

For some reason, that sounded particularly absurd, if there’s a way to distinguish one utterance from another. We expect a press lackey to proclaim the Earth’s largest inauguration. We expect a toadie to hail Trump as the force to “revolutionize reality TV.” We’d even expect neo Nazis and the religious right (sorry for the redundancy) to, well, vote for him. You expect crazy shit.

But this doc probably has friends. Maybe doctor friends. What do they say when he comes to poker night? Do they tease him for a Biblical diagnosis? Raise the nickel-a-hand game to $5,000 a card? SeanTuck either didn’t know or didn’t care, so proud were they with Donnie’s perfect score.

Just for kicks, I looked up the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA), a test usually given to Parkinson’s patients. While lots of folks have reprinted the image above, what’s interesting is the stuff below: the rest of the test. So here it is. All of it. Try NOT to get a perfect score: 

Now, for some factslaps our baboon-in-chief could likely not read, let alone know:

  • In the Norwegian town of Longyearbyen, it is illegal to die.
  • In a study following the lives of 19,000 kids for 10 years, video games had no negative social behavior effects on the children.
  • In 2010, a group of 15 monkeys escaped a research institute in Japan by using trees to catapult themselves over a 17 ft high electric fence.
  • Stifling a sneeze by clamping your nose and mouth shut can rupture your throat.
  • During the Columbine massacre, two 20 pound propane bombs were planted in the school cafeteria right before lunch. Had the bombs not fail to detonate, it’s estimated that 488 students would have been killed or severely injured.
  • A sophomaniac is a person who’s under the delusion that they are extremely intelligent.
  • In 2015, a man sued Red Bull stating that after 10 years of consuming the product, he received no wings, enhanced physical nor intellectual performance.

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