Before you inject Lysol into your veins, consider these unfortunate souls who also made poor life decisions…
And not the floor.
Better flood the basement and float out.
And DO NOT try the walnut log roll.
Which one did you get??
You don’t want to know what he rubbed on his ass.
Trump’s new immigration policy: attack pigeons.
Mrs. Buttermilk’s newest flavor, Soy Syrup.
Well the weather inside is frightful.
Nor does it treat coronavirus.
It’s anyone’s guess, the final human toll of COVID-19. Regardless of the body count, the coronavirus seems worthy of some historical title. All great disasters get them: The Great Dying; The Black Plague; The Royal Wedding.
But what to name this? It has all the trappings of a great disaster flick, as if we’d just watched the meteor plunge into the middle of the Pacific and can see the tidal wave headed for us in its wake. Only the trees and monoliths planted firmly in the earth seem destined to survive The Great Thinning.
Consider, already, how COVID has winnowed so thin as to be translucent the veil of what we once considered an American way of life. In the matter of a month, we’ve foudationally shifted our thinking on:
Faith. For years, we at the HB have argued that the majority of the nation is atheist because, well, if we thought someone were really watching, we’d act different. Leave it to COVID to do us one better.
COVID demonstrates how believers actually behave when they think an invisible, capricious force capable of mass slaughter exists somewhere out there. It’s even adopted its own set of lifestyle commandments, more conservative than any Baptist fundamentalist or Muslim martyr:
Thou shalt not congregate.
Thou shalt not go unmasked or ungloved.
Thou shalt not eat meat that’s been touched.
And most importantly, Thou shalt shun non-believers.
Do we not follow COVID’s commandments just as fervently, if not more so?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHpuqx2tzhI
Business. Corona has laid bare the notion that the stock market and the economy are related. As America’s death toll topped 50,000 and confirmed cases neared 1 million, those in the investing class have kept the DOW above 20000 by, among other things, short-betting on America. How else could oil drop to below $0? COVID has made clear the two American economies: Those who pay the bills; and those who bet they won’t be able to.
COVID is also going allow Economic Darwinism have its way, on everything from the gig economy to democratic socialism. Already, we are seeing its earliest results. Since COVID struck, according to U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, more than 33 million are unemployed, for a real unemployment rate of 20.6%—which would be the highest level since 1934./cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/66588355/GettyImages_1208287378.0.jpg)
Science. The silver lining of the new order. As dimwits protest not being able to get their hair did, others are publicly touting the beauty of science.That may not stop people from injecting Lysol into their veins, thanks to president PumpkinSpice and Fox lickspittles. But Darwin’s gotta thin the herd somewhere. 
(Sidenote to above pic: That protester above misspelled ‘believe’ on purpose, right? To be ironic? Please be so. We need folks who can represent.)
Leave it to Banksy to not only demonstrate that art doesn’t stop just because life does, but to take a skewering jab at our base selves while doing it.
The world’s greatest tagger unveiled his latest work — on Twitter, of all places — earlier this week. Consider it a coronavirus consolation prize; normally his work is painted over by city employees or shredding itself at Sothey’s.
In the very finite reaches of cyberspace, however, Banksy’s work can be freeze-framed in a fashion that must tickle the artist. His latest, captioned My wife hates it when I work from home, even includes several closeups of the piece, as if he wants you to pay particular attention to some corners of the canvas.
People have certainly paid attention. It became a viral sensation, broke Twitter and even warranted coverage by the venerable institution TMZ. It and other outlets raved that the street-Warhol was telling fans that we are all in this together, that all of us are struggling to cope with the Everyday under the new world order.
I’m not so sure. Banksy has always been subversive in his expressions, and you can make an argument that he’s not casting us as victims of the virus. But that we are virus itself.
Consider: He could have used any animal running rampant through the house. Dogs. Cats. Roaches. Mice. Instead, he chose rats, the symbol of the bacteria bank that financed The Black Plague.
In the 3-D work, the rodents have run roughshod over their own habitat.
Hoarded the essentials.
Consumed the vital resources.
Pissed all over the basin.
Sounds like a cautionary environmental message scratching about to me.
It’s hard to imagine Banksy not taking an alternate view of the pandemic. Considering he made his name throwing Molotov Cocktail bouquets into the middle of the modern-art landscape, could he be arguing that COVID-19 is not a virus, but an antibody?
