My Caramel,

I have bad news and good news (remember that order, so you always end on an up note):

The bad news is I can’t tell you the good news yet.

See, your birthday is still three weeks away, or five months on your calendar. And I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so just read the top and bottom of this letter. You can read the middle on your actual birthday, Nov. 1.

I’m gonna need you to Heel on these ellipses, and Come when you see the next ellipses. You know the drill: I’ll double-click when it’s time to go.

Heel…

I GOT YOU THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT OF YOUR LIFE!! I’m pretty confident in that assessment, seeing as how it’s the first birthday of your life. Still, I’m pretty sure you’ll dig it.

Meet Chuck D’Angelo Barksdale, or Charlie as he’s known at the Pet Orphans Rescue of Southern California.

Charlie is your age, but that’s about it for similarities. He was plucked from a shelter in Victorville and arrived at the new hoosegow in late September. He walks with a pronounced limp, and his right front paw juts to the right, as if he’s been run over at least once in his life.

He is purebred mutt. He looks like a Pit bull that had his way with a Corgi that had her way with a Dachshund. He’s 25 pounds, a third your weight, but more than half your length.

His paperwork just said he was “Great with people on approach/ good with other dogs/ good with cats” but “HIGH ENERGY – Yard Recommended.” The orphanage said he was hard to home because he was so hyper.

Of course, the orphanage never met you.

Remember how ready you were to play at daybreak? How I could never tug-of-war enough? Remember the reluctance to part with any pup you met on our walks?

Remember how much you needed a furfriend?

Well, Charlie needed a furfamily.

…

(double-click)

Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the good news:

SQUIRREL!