Category Archives: The Evidentialism Files

My Home State

I used to be embarrassed to have been born in the South.

Surely, a taproot was the teasing I got from friends and classmates I grew up with in Detroit, and later in Grosse Pointe Park across the street. They’d heard my parents’ drawl, learned I was born in South Carolina, and smelled blood in the water.

All children have at least one exposed flank. The arch of my Achilles was the hick taunt. And the kids knew just when to launch the barrage; around summertime dusk, as light was calling an end to the day’s football/baseball/basketball/bike rides.

“Scawwwt!” they’d howl out in an outlandish (but piercing) southern accent. “Tahm fa suppah!”

So as I aged I was proud to tell people I was from Michigan. And, essentially, I am: I moved to Detroit in the middle of first grade, stayed in the area through high school, went to the University of Michigan and returned for a professional stint at the Detroit News.Detroit News Building - Photos gallery — Historic Detroit

I don’t know why, but I always thought of Michigan as a progressive, if not liberal-leaning, place. Perhaps I was too young to see my state through a political prism, but in retrospect I realize I was just in Michigan’s liberal pockets: the metro Detroit area; and Ann Arbor. At the News, my beat was cops, and that only further confirmed my blue bias. Black mayors ran the town and minority council members were the norm, not exception.

So when I became politically aware, I brought along my political blind spots. And when Trump took my state — and the nation — in 2016, the only thing that dropped faster than my jaw was my internal glass compass, which sharded into a million tiny little pieces.

My home voted Trump? My blue-collar state turned as red as the president’s jowls? There had to have been a glitch in the Matrix.Matrix city - Sarx

But now I every time I hear “Meanwhile, in Michigan…” I get queasy. I know what’s coming. Some dumbass is protesting not being able to carry his AK-47 into a nursery school. Or “protesters” are chanting “Lock her up” outside the state capital because the governor recommends masks.

Last week, Michigan closed its capitol in Lansing and canceled its legislative session rather than face the possibility of an armed protest and death threats against Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer.Trump OKs Michigan disaster declaration, Whitmer says it's 'a good ...

The session, meant to advocate opening the state for business despite the coronavirus pandemic, followed one in which military-clad goons carrying rifles into the capitol confronted police and taunted lawmakers.

What the actual fuck? I used to go to the Detroit Science Center, now the Michigan Science Center. I remember the exhibits on space, motion, gravity. In the halcyon gauze of memory, I recall a place straight out of The Jetsons.

Apparently, Mitten dolts still do. I see a surprising number consider concepts like physics an exercise in ideology — one they take a frightening amount of pride in rejecting.

You see, it’s legal in Michigan to carry a firearm in public — including the grounds of the capitol — “as long as the person is carrying the firearm with lawful intent and the firearm is not concealed.” So how the hell do you determine lawful intent? Does the guy below look ‘lawful?’ You can’t bring 3.5 ounces of water on a plane, but you can bring your semis to assembly meetings?An armed protester stands in the Michigan Capitol Building in Lansing, on April 30.

Governor Whitmer is probably right: The protesters in Michigan are just political rally organizers hawking for Trump. But there’s no denying that the state is nearly about half red — tacitly endorsing an existentially dangerous brand of politics. One that has decided concepts like Flat Earth, Creationism and global warming are legitimate scientific controversies. They’re not. But giving the “theories” intellectual credence has  muddied concepts once considered universal truths. like protective masks.

We once accepted as beneficial a filter mask in a pandemic. Now, masks (or lack of them) have become political honor badges, appropriately shaded blue: Masks have become the latest totem of virtue signalling, the hottest trend in national politics. Democrats wear masks. Republicans don’t.

Michigan, like so many other states, has entered into a Faustian political bargain with this thinking: endorsing the president of an organization (in this case government) who doesn’t believe in the organization (in this case the government). Who prefers a conspiracy theory to a pragmatic one. Whose one compass reading is unilateral.

Consider how profound the shift Trump brought to American politics. Our own administration does not trust its own intelligence branches. It does not trust its own medical authorities. It does not trust its own scientists. Are we expected to?

What an odd position for an American citizen. Say, for instance, you need a new car, so you head to the closest dealership.

During the test drive, the blunt salesman tells you how corrupt all dealerships are. That they take 20% of all car sales minimum, which consist of only $10,000 worth of equipment, maximum. That when a salesman tells you he’ll have to check with the manager about the price, most of them get coffee. Some even brag about going to the bathroom in a moneygasm jack off, just to have a sincerely relieved face and sincere smile when they tell you congratulations,  “the manager somehow said yes!”

At the end of the drive, are you going to buy the car? Would you offer $10,000? Would you rethink the offer when the salesman says, “Lemme check with my manager?”

That’s where the administration has left us. The GOP has become so consumed with profits and polls it will consume any cult defector and honor any suicide bomber. Whistle blowers? They’re just disgruntled employees. Contradicting scientists and military leaders? Those poor Obama brainwashees. Global warming? Remember that cold night in February?

Meanwhile, Michael Flynn, who twice pleaded guilty for lying to the F.B.I. about his meetings with the Russian ambassador, was set up in an Obama-borne conspiracy on the president fully knows. Trump has ordered Bill Barr to dismantle that entire Russian unpleasantness.Michael Flynn case: Trump, Barr try to get judiciary to abet ...

And my state uses his rallies to shout his name in victory, to hoist banners adorned with swastikas and nooses. Because America.Swastikas and nooses': governor slams 'racism' of Michigan ...

I was ready to renounce the entire state as the dark crow’s nest of my early days on the wing. Then I read about this guy:

Meet Shalinder Singh. Before the pandemic, Shalinder Singh spent Sundays at his gurdwara, a Sikh place of worship, helping serve a community meal for about 300 people in suburban Detroit.

Now, he’s all about pizza.

Singh and his family have paid for and delivered hundreds of pies to Detroit hospitals, police stations and fire departments since the gurdwara suspended in-person services. Singh and his family wanted to carry on a tenet of their faith: helping others through langar, the communal meal shared by all who come.

That’s the Michigan I remember. So let’s clarify, now that I’m not so naive and embarrassed.

Detroit will always be my hometown. But I was born in Charleston, y’all.

 

 

The Great Thinning, Pt. III (Billy & Big Earl Remix)

War Poems

One of my dad’s favorite poems, and one spotted by Earl Troglin, one of dad’s favorite people.

Opportunity

This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream:—
There spread a cloud of dust along a plain;
And underneath the cloud, or in it, raged
A furious battle, and men yelled, and swords
Shocked upon swords and shields. A prince’s banner
Wavered, then staggered backward, hemmed by foes.
A craven hung along the battle’s edge,
And thought, “Had I a sword of keener steel—
That blue blade that the king’s son bears,— but this
Blunt thing—!” He snapped and flung it from his hand,
And lowering crept away and left the field.
Then came the king’s son, wounded sore bested,
And weaponless, and saw the broken sword
Hilt-buried in the dry and trodden sand,
And ran and snatched it, and with battle-shout
Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down
And saved a great cause that heroic day.

— Edward Rowland Sill

 

The Great Thinning, Part II

And so it goes.

As the COVID-19 death toll tops 67,000 (a government statistic, so likely a conservative tally), we pass grim milestone after grim milestone. In less than two months, we’ve surpassed the body count in the Vietnam War. We have endured the human loss of a Sept. 11 attack every other day.

Yet, we’re divided as a nation over whether we have it.

Last week, The Washington Times blasted a front page headline: Coronavirus hype biggest political hoax in history. The conservative paper will surely point out that it used the word “hype” with hoax. But do we really believe today’s American reader will get the nuance?

Consider: Dozens of cell towers were set ablaze a few weeks ago after a conspiracy theory conjured that COVID was caused by 5G transmissions. According to the Pew Research group, nearly one in four believe the virus is a man-made contagion.Cell phone tower catches fire in Sanford, area evacuated | Paisajes

Which brings us to another scaling back in The Great Thinning: Our view of medicine.

Just look at the all-star roster of charlatans to emerge in the pandemic:

  • Dr. PhilDr. Phil (@DrPhil) | Twitter

Dr. Awshucks put his loafer in his mouth with this proclamation: “The fact of the matter is we have people dying, 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, 360,000 a year from swimming pools, but we don’t shut the country down for that, but yet we’re doing it for this?”

Phil, who has no doctor’s licence, probably meant to say 3,600 pool deaths a year, which is about the national average. And you can’t catch an automobile accident.

  • Dr. Oz  False and baseless medical claims from Dr. Oz, Trump advisor ...

The perfectly-named Fox favorite said the idea of reopening schools was “an appetizing opportunity” in light of an article in a medical journal “arguing that the opening of schools may only cost us 2 to 3 percent in terms of total mortality.” “We need our mojo back,” he told Sean Hannity.

Someone wants to be in a new Austin Powers movie. And what do you mean “appetizing?” Is that really the verb you want to use for schoolchildren?

  • Dr. Drew    Dr Drew (@drdrew) | Twitter

The former Celebrity Rehab host called COVID “way less serious than influenza;” referred to the pandemic  as “a press-induced panic;” said “the flu virus in this country is vastly more consequential” and compared the probability of dying from the disease to being “hit by an asteroid.”

He retracted every statement.

And then there’s Dr. Bone Spur. The Pumpkin-in-Chief has been urging states to get back to work since we began keeling over, and his administration eased stay at home orders nationwide, lifting restrictions on everything from beaches to bowling alleys this weekend.Donald Trump wearing a suit and tie: US President Donald Trump

Maybe the timing is right. Maybe the summer will shoo coronavirus.

This much is clear: Darwin will take it from here. Because we’ve turned belief in him into an ideology.

Exhibits A and B: Gary Lenius and his wife Wanda. The couple ingested chloroquine phosphate, a fish tank cleaner, thinking it was the chemical Trump had championed for weeks in the virus fight.a group of people posing for the camera: Gary Lenius and his wife Wanda

Gary, a retired mechanical engineer living in Arizona, died in March and his wife was left in critical condition after ingesting the toxic chemical. Wanda told reporters that she and her husband took a teaspoon of fish tank cleaner, mixing it with soda, hoping it would protect them from contracting the coronavirus.

“We were afraid we were getting sick,” she said. “We were getting really worried. We saw his [Trump’s] press conference. It was on a lot, actually. Trump kept saying it was pretty much a cure.”

To which the HB would like to offer this public service tip: If you are considering ingesting or injecting any cleanser or cleaning chemicals into your body to fight COVID, by all means go ahead. You will do much more damage in a voting both than you will at your own aquarium. It’s a free country; you have the right to be wrong.

As do the protesters in that top photo, who stormed the Michigan Capitol to rail against…bacteria? Empty nail salons? It’s ironic that the same group that challenges the theory of evolution is now tossing around terms like “herd immunity.”

I’m not sure who they’re going to yell at when the governor lifts the state of emergency order because, at this point, who is ready wade back into those waters? Even if we do blow up the shark, we’ve left a lot of blood in the sea. You can’t yell an economy back into action.

Which is where Darwin steps in. As many of us celebrate gathering in malls or flocking to movie theaters again, the weaker of us may die off — including those who were in no rush to re-enter the currents to begin with.

So it goes. Those are the terms of use of personhood; you either work with science, or for it.