Category Archives: Reviews

‘Finch’: Not Exactly Best in Show


Finch wants desperately to be a good boy.

It learned all the movies it wanted to be. Rain Man; 2001: A Space Odyssey; E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. It had a beloved breed in Tom Hanks, who established his canine flick bonafides with Turner and Hooch. He won a couple Oscars, too.

But Finch ultimately is a good argument for why the MPAA needs its ratings system fixed. Because while it is rated PG-13, Finch is not a movie for audiences 13 and older. I’d say 16 and under.

How else to describe Apple’s latest film? It feels like Castaway met Wall-E and they went off to raise My Dog Skip — without the originality of any. Finch decaffeinates and sanitizes so many crucial scenes you’d think Disney made it (right down to physical comedy that’s just plain Goofy).

Hanks reprises the deserted-island role he made so memorable in Castaway. This time, the universe wants his character dead by solar flare, which has already wiped out most of the planet. Rightfully concerned that his irradiated days are numbered, Finch builds a robot to care for his dog.

While those plot details might be trickled out in an adult drama. Finch vomits forth those irresistible plot points almost by the first half hour. From poster to trailer to opening scene, Finch wears its cliches proudly and telegraphs its messages as clearly as Morse, which is almost a charm in itself.

Because there’s no hating Finch. I wept during it, but almost furiously so: It’s like a rescue shelter commercial set to Sarah McLachlan: Either don’t watch or get a tissue, because your heartstrings are going to be mercilessly plucked.

And it’s hard not to watch anything Tom Hanks does, even when it’s just him, a CGI robot and a rescue dog named Seamus, a terrier mix who looks a lot like my rescue mix. I was ready to love Finch. I wanted to love Finch.

But then Finch started misbehaving. For starters, Seamus plays a dog named Goodyear. Goodyear? The film gives some contrivance for Goodyear’s name, but come on: At least know a good dog name. You know, one that a dog would recognize and wouldn’t sound like product placement. Say, Seamus.

And for the robot, Jeff (again, ??). The movie quickly establishes that Jeff has only 72% of the information about the world that our hero, Finch (Hanks), meant to upload. A sudden dust and radiation storm cut the upload short, propelling our band into a wacky road trip.

There are many details to follow in the movie, but it’s all downhill from premise.

Or maybe not. Perhaps Apple, Disney and all major studios trying to stay in business view movies not for their teenager-and-older subject matter, but for their teenage-and-older consumer matter.

Because the movie ratings system is a grim numbers game, as the Motion Picture Association of America has confused its ratings as a seal of approval from the film industry — or a specific movie.

Your movie have smoking in it? PG rating. More than two “fucks?” You got yourself an R rating, buster. Showing pubis, or, worse, showing it in a sexual context? You’re flirting with an X rating — a death rating outside a particular demographic.

So why don’t we in the media get out of that absurd system? Can we not tell audiences who the movie is for, in terms of subject matter, instead of using Hollywood’s definition of age-appropriate viewing, which is a consumer-based metric?

Because Finch is a fine family film, full of fine lessons about friendship, family and the meaning of consciousness.

I just expected it in an adult film.

The Death of the Plot Twist


Spoiler alerts have become to movies what the Surgeon General’s warning became to smoking: a perfunctory caution before ill-advised behavior.

Remember plot twists in movies? The stunning revelations in films such as Psycho, The Crying Game and The Sixth Sense? Good times.

And getting rarer. When was the last time you were surprised by a movie’s plot?

Studios are trying to maintain the mystery: In the ad frenzy promoting Daniel Craig’s final film as James Bond, No Time To Die, trailers exclaimed (and still do) “You won’t believe the ending!”

Perhaps. Unless you read the Wikipedia entry for the movie. It spelled out the ending in detail — on the movie’s opening weekend.

This is the new rule, not the exception, in Hollywood’s click-bait reality. Movie reviews and plot secrets air on social media the day a movie opens, if not before. Some YouTube movie critiques are ad-libbed on cell phones outside the theater that just aired the film.

And it’s not only the ending. The Eternals, Disney’s latest comic-book entry, led all moves this weekend with a respectable $70 million in the U.S. — only in theaters.

But for those who enjoy Marvel’s trademark end-credits for their cameos and plot clues, bad news: Wikipedia listed that as well. Twice, actually: Eternals had a mid-end-credit scene, too. Both were duly described.

This poses a conundrum for an industry that must tease a film without giving away away too much. Studios are already laboring to sell kids on the theatrical experience itself, no small task in a pandemic. That job becomes tougher without intrigue.

So what fate, the movie twist? Already, fans are calling on fellow cinephiles to be more discreet.

Studios are asking reviewers sign agreements that they will not write on social media about a movie before their reviews. And more film reviews and analyses can be found on YouTube with a “NO SPOILERS” guarantee.

But for now, it’s up to the viewer to provide the suspension of disbelief. And surprise.

The Sweet Scientist

Boxing Cassius Clay is gagged with a piece of tape and a padlock News Photo  - Getty Images

Damn Ken Burns. He ruins everything for me.

First it was TV. His visual opuses — Hemingway, Vietnam, The Civil War — put other television shows to shame, including my favorites: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, The Wire, The Simpsons.

NOW he’s ruined storytelling for me. His latest non-fiction tale, Ali, ranks among my favorites. I was already a sports nut, so there was no chance I would not like the PBS series.

But what caught me flush on the jaw was his undercutting of my assumptions about not only the man, but what I believed to be true about Malcolm X, my career of choice and, more importantly, my father’s.

Ali is Burns at his poetic peak. Throughout his career, Burns has managed to affect the cadence and mannerisms of every American milieu he’s portrayed. Hemingway had the sparseness of the author; The Civil War seemed to live on sepia parchment, like the letters of long-gone soldiers; you could almost taste the horse nipple of a stadium hot dog in Baseball.

In Ali, we are ringside and blood-spattered at Muhammad Ali’s greatest bouts. Set to a pulsating house beat, Ali sets up the Kentucky boxer’s most important battles, in and out of the ring. And because Burns is, at heart, a gumshoe reporter, he invariably finds details overlooked or ignored by history. Ali even makes the outcome of fights decided decades ago feel uncertain, a masterstroke of any sports documentarian.

But Burns goes deeper, sparring with the subject matter. Like Ali the fighter, Burns the storyteller rope-a-dopes viewers, luring them into looking at one thing while — Pow! — stinging with a jab that clears whatever preconceived notions were in your head.

In this case, that would include haymaker epiphanies about Malcolm X, The Nation of Islam, and the media of my father’s era, all of which combined to turn Ali into a social pariah. Burns exposes not only the Sweet Science, but the mad scientists who were determined to turn a flawed man into flawless hero — or fatally flawed villain.

Among the mini-documentaries to emerge from Ali, no subject stands as tall as Malcolm X. Burns reveals that Malcolm X was such good friends with Ali that after the boxer claimed his first heavyweight title, he changed his name to Cassius X, enraging Elijah Muhammad, the leader of The Nation of Islam. Malcolm’s newsreel interviews reveal a principled, thoughtful soldier of faith troubled by his brothers’ descent into greed and ego. Malcolm would be exiled from the Nation of Islam by Elijah, who “granted” Cassius Clay the name Muhammad Ali, and be gunned down in an assassination he foretold.

I always thought Ali was a shameless braggart who chose his own name. The reason I thought that was because my father thought that.

Burns makes quick work of Elijah Muhammad, a spiritual leader with a Koresh-ian fondness for power and adoration. His rise to power in The Nation of Islam — fueled by Elijah’s publishing prowess — is a Shakespearean fall that the director illuminates effortlessly.

The four-part series is rife with revelations: Malcolm was a man of peace; Eliah a man of corrupted ego. That sportswriters, not the athlete, dictated Ali’s narrative (a narrative personally handed down by my father, a news reporter as snookered as I by hometown sports writers beguiled by the reputation of the sport, not the realities).

The series, like the man, sputters in the second half. We are familiar enough with Ali’s fall from grace that the series would have better fit a three-act Greek tragedy, which Ali ultimately was. The boxer was just Hamlet in boxing gloves: To be or not to be the greatest. Both caution the danger of myth meeting humanity.

Burns, of course, doesn’t give a damn about myths, reputations and legends. That makes him the king of storytellers, including those in film, music, TV and art.

In fact, an enterprising college should offer an American history course, as seen through the eyes of Ken Burns. Can you imagine a college class with educational TV as homework? Can you imagine the wait list? Just sayin.’

No offense to Muhammad, but he is the greatest.