Category Archives: Muddled Musings

The Nose, in Spite of Its Face

pennchapo

where to buy disulfiram I can’t decide whether I’m thrilled or mortified by the Sean Penn interview with Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman for Rolling Stone.

On the one hand, the piece is testimony to the power of the press, like Edward Snowden’s revelatory interviews with The Guardian, the New York Times and the Washington Post. Good journalism challenges the powers that be, whether it’s government overreach or police ineptitude. That the Fifth Estate found the most wanted fugitive alive speaks volumes about the need to keep voices free — and inquisitive.

On the other, that Fifth Estate member is Sean Penn, which makes me want to barf on my shoe.

The nausea comes from Penn’s self-described role as reporter. He called his story “experiential journalism,” which is about as valid as being a reporter on social media (would you risk a “social dentist,” or fly on a commercial jet helmed by a “social pilot?”).

“Experiential journalism” is journalism; it simply means doing it in person instead of via phone. And Hunter S. Thompson already gets credit for the term with  “gonzo journalism” (the same thing, but with an actual writer) in his 1966 book Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs.

But the more I read of the Rolling Stone interview (and the story itself), the more convinced I became that Penn is simply gathering material for a political comedy about an oddball actor who lands an interview with a fugitive drug lord, trailed by a phalanx of Keystone Cops and a bumbling press corps.

The film could include real elements of the story, which was sent to Chapo for pre-approval (Your journo license is revoked right there, chump.) and likely printed unedited because of Penn’s celebrity. And that’s too bad, because he reeeaaalllly could have used an editor:

  • “Disclosure: Some names have had
 to be changed, locations not named, and an understanding was brokered with the subject that this piece would be submitted for the subject’s approval before publication.”  Well, at least you’re warning us it’s ethically dubious.
  • About his personal pilot and researcher, Espinoza: “Espinoza is the owl that flies among the falcons.” Huh? What the hell does that mean?
  • “At 55 years old, I’ve never learned to use a laptop. Do they still make laptops? No fucking idea!” Spoiler alert: yes.
  • “I throw my satchel into the open back of one of the SUVs, and lumber over to the tree line to take a piss. Dick in hand, I do consider it among my body parts vulnerable to the knives of irrational narco types, and take a fond last look, before tucking it back into my pants.” Did you write with it, too?
  • “At this moment, I expel a minor traveler’s flatulence (sorry).” In the book, he’ll document having the runs.

It would all make for terrific comedic terrain Penn hasn’t wanted to touch since his days as stoner Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

spicoli

And he should revisit comedy, because he’s a funny guy. Well, not so much funny funny as weird funny.

The first time I interviewed him, he granted only four reporters access for 2004’s  The Assassination of Richard Nixon, a politically ambitious but muddled film.

I was his last interview of the day, and assumed, by his demeanor, he was tired of press asses. While I knew the real-life story of would-be assassin Samuel Bicke, Penn’s character, I could not muster Penn’s interest. He sat in profile to me in his seat, looking at a wall and eating steak while he offered largely one-word answers.

Defeated by interview’s end, I walked out, uncertain how I would concoct a story of mumbles. As I walked out, his publicist, who was monitoring the interview, ran out of the room and caught me by the arm.

“Hey,” she said. “That was a really good interview. Sean appreciate’s smart questions.”

Had I not been so starstruck and green, I would have replied, ‘Then why didn’t he give smart answers?’ Instead, I mumbled a thank you and headed to assembled an article.

He must have liked it, because I got an invitation next year for another interview, this time for the political adaptation All the King’s Men. Only now, I was told in bated breath, Sean would eat with me in public, and would like to speak about politics.

We met in the outdoor restaurant at the Chateau Marmont. He again ordered steak — so rare in nearly mooed on the plate.

He was comfortable now, railing against the inherent flaws of American politics, the disdain for the poor, the lack of an Everyman voice. It was the Penn that would visit post-Katrina Louisiana — with post-game analysis. He conceded his disdain for religion (“Certainty is the disease of kings,” he said. “And I’m no king.”)

He finished the steak entirely. In mid-proselytizing, he lifted the plate to slurp the blood remaining — a fact included in the piece. Aside from a story I once wrote about witnessing an Arkansas execution, I had never received so many angry letters for being insensitively graphic.

But, in all likelihood, Penn knew that would be the reaction. And as I read the latest stories, watched the newest round of interviews, I realized: Penn is functioning as a reporter, just in its old-school iteration, as provocateur. Though Dad could write like a poet, he, too, was a provocateur: He was happy to pound on the front door of an accused cop, an indicted politician, an escaped convict. Provocation is the kindling of news.

Dad would have been proud of any reporter who beat the cops to the bad guy. But he likely  would have taken issue with sentences like “We sit within quietude of fortified walls that are old New York hotel construction, when walls were walls.”

Come on, Sean. That’s weird, even for an experiential reader.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7gzl2ZI1kE

 

But Boy Could He Play Guitar (1/8/47-1/10/16)

Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Wierd and Gilly,
And The Spiders from Mars.
He played it left hand, but made it too far,
Became the special man,
Then we were Ziggy’s Band.

Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo
Like some cat from Japan, he could lick ’em by smiling
He could leave ’em to hang
Here came on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan.

So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls?
Just the beer light to guide us.
So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?

Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were Voodoo
The kids was just crass,
He was the naz
With God given ass
He took it all too far
But boy could he play guitar.

Making love with his ego Ziggy sucked up into his mind
Like a leper messiah
When the kids had killed the man
I had to break up the band

Ziggy played guitar

A Word Worth a Thousand Pictures

 

I had a nostalgic moment with a vagrant this weekend.

That’s not particularly surprising or new. As a former cop reporter, I’ve always been fascinated with the homeless, America’s last indigenous population, and their sprawling, coast-to-coast reservation: the city.

There was the homeless woman who developed a crush on Michael when he was living at my house in DC. Every once and again, she’d leave canned beets or a kitchen chair on my porch as a ‘Thinking of You’ gesture to Mikey. The street musicians and mobile soup kitchens who were fodder for endless beat stories. The homeless lady who hawked a loogie on my door when I told her I had no change. Or the homeless man I nearly accidentally crushed when he grabbed some zzzzs under the shade of my Jeep.

The taproot fascination, though, came four years ago, when I was having the Harley repaired.

The shop sat only a mile from my home, and the mechanic said there was no need to wait around; the repair would take two days, at least. So I had to decide: Succumb to my lazy-ass nature and take a taxi home, or hoof it.

I would have likely chosen sloth had I not seen the empty grocery cart in the alley behind the shop (shopping carts are like Winnebagos for city drifters, and twice as abundant as discarded  cans, even though they’re worth between $75-$125 apiece).

So I dumped my belongings in the mobile cage: $200 helmet; $300 leather jacket; new iPhone in the seat normally reserved for eggs and infants.

Abandoned shopping carts on East Alaska Avenue in Fairfield.

And we began our rickety, one-wheel-askew stroll home.

Had I ducked into a phone booth and changed into a cape and big red S, the change in appearance could not be more immediate and stark. I may have had $1,000 worth of gear in that cart, but suddenly I was a hobo, human flotsam acting as catch basin for trash treasures.

No one looked me in the eye as I walked down Sherman Way. A woman stood in her doorway and waited for me to pass before she walked to her mailbox. A young man and woman, hand in hand, walked on the grass so as to not brush too close. When I passed the local park/playground, a Motel 6 for the indigent, a bedraggled man awoke from his nap, sat up and looked at me. Mistaking me for the penniless, he flopped back to sleep.

As I neared the house, I came upon my elderly next door neighbor, Ted. He asked about the cart, and I shared the adventure.

“You should have called me,” Ted said. “I’d be happy to give you a ride.”

I thanked him for the offer, then realized later that he gave me something more. An epiphany.

I had spent so many years covering the street and its denizens, I thought I had some inkling  of their worldview. And congratulated myself so for fragments of altruism.  But I was so foolish in my notion that all they needed was money. When really, under the cloaking shield  of poverty, they perhaps needed something more basic: acknowledgment. A look in the eye. Even a firm no is, at very least,  recognition of you as a human being.

But back to the nostalgic moment.

Whenever I’m feeling invisible (or at least translucent), I like to disappear by car or motorcycle into the Santa Susanna Pass, a wending, scenic and mountainous ribbon of highway engraved into the hillsides of Simi Valley. With the right song and corner, it’s a transcendent escape.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

On the drive back, I noticed a man standing roadside at my exit, holding a single-word sign for the motorists as they stutter stepped through the intersection. Emblazoned on the makeshift billboard was this:

HUNGRY

No embellishment, no plea, no bullshit sales strategy. Just a fact, out there like a wayward shopping cart.

I rolled down my window and pulled out my wallet. I gave him the contents: $8. I like to think I’d have given him $60 if I had it, though I’m not that confident in what Lincoln called the better angels of our nature.

The man took the bills with two hands, and smiled, and said something as the light turned green. I could not hear what he said.

But Mister, I see you.