Category Archives: Muddled Musings

Just Don’t Be a Dick About It

 

I recently came across a University of Indiana study that advertisers are increasingly turning to subliminal ads to woo millennials (who knew millennials  had subliminal…anythings?). From sex to software, the study said, an Internet-fed generation increasingly relies on fleeting visual clues for information.

The study wasn’t much of a jaw dropper: Journalism had to do a similar bait-and-switch years ago, cloaking itself as comedy to inform its once-attentive clientele. Hence the rise of politically canny comedians like Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Larry Wilmore and Trevor Noah. Speaking of which: Why do the Republicans not utilize humor? With the exception of Dennis Miller, the GOP is known more for blowhards than belly splitters.

The study found this ad, apparently from the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture and Arousal, to be among the worst offenders:

bread

Beer commercials, it said, remain among the most flagrant. Here’s one from Lowenbrau:

lowenbrau

The most sexist ad of the year, however, went to a fashion site known as Candie’s. Where, the study asked, what the rocket going? And what did that have to do with fashion?

rocket

But the study also gave credit to companies whose primary advertising charm was in cleverness, not sexiness:

Güstrow FEDEX

fedex

The white space between the ‘E’ and the ‘X’ forms a perfect arrow, suggesting a company moving forward and looking ahead. It’s subtle, but now it’s all I see whenever the logo appears.

GOODWILL

goodwill

The iconic smiling face is in fact the ‘G’ in Goodwill zoomed in an cropped slightly.

THE PITTSBURGH ZOO

pittsburgh zoo
On either side of the tree, the faces of a gorilla and lion appear in white. In many of these examples of hidden symbolism, the ‘secondary’ imagery is often found by looking at the ‘negative space’ of the logo.

BASKIN ROBBINS

baskin robbins

The BR in the Baskin Robbins logo is made of two colours. When you focus on just the pink portion, the number 31 appears, denoting the number of flavors Baskin Robbins offers.

HERSHEY’S KISS

33911_A_01_Kisses_EBU

The tasty Hershey’s Kisses logo is similar to the FedEx logo in that there is a hidden Hershey’s kiss between the ‘K’ and the ‘I’. You might need to tilt your head slightly to the left to really see it.

AMAZON

amazon

My favorite of the bunch. Did you ever notice the arrow from ‘A’ to ‘Z’ in the Amazon logo? The thought is that Amazon carries everything from… well you know the rest. Some say it also forms a slight smiley face.

But I think Amazon killed two birds with a single stone. Sure, there IS an ‘a’ and a ‘z,’ and it certainly looks like a smiley face.

Or maybe Amazon is smiling because it is sitting on its own erection.

Perhaps sex does sell. Whether you’re buying or not.

 

 

 

And the Rockets Red Glare

 

Another Sunday Mass.

This time, a gay Florida nightclub, where 50 people were shot to death and another 50 wounded (by conservative estimate) today.

There’s no reason to expect this shooting to unfold any differently than, say, the Sunday Mass in Charleston.

The sane will say this needs to stop. The confederacy of dunces shall take up arms. And it will dissipate into name-calling in the Twitterverse like so many roman candles on a July 4 eve.

But one day, shootings like this will ricochet back into the TNT bin. It has to, simply by the law of averages.

Because, unlike a Baptist church or elementary school, the Florida shooting puts the right to bear arms in the crosshairs of the right to build walls.

After all, deporting American Muslims is suddenly a presidential issue, yes Mr. Trump? I’m assuming deportations must be preceded by the disarming of Americans, as the Second Amendment makes no mention of race.

Those fears are about to share a dance card.

In the meantime, where’s the Bernie Sanders-like enthusiasm for liberal intervention? Not even a unified call to get a national learner’s permit, like a car? Maybe that doesn’t reach the right demographic.

But one day, shootings like this will. Two centuries of U.S. democracy suggest that. From women’s rights to civil rights to the gay rights literally under fire about 2 a.m. today, the branches of justice eventually, inexorably, lean left.

It’s simply a matter of time before they provide ample cover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m Late, I’m Late, for a Very Important Date…

 

My name is Scott Bowles, and I’m a punctu-holic.

It’s an inherited condition — from my mother’s side of the family. Dad was a legendary reporter, but he wouldn’t know punctuality if it broke his nose. He was unable to start a task until the 11th hour struck. He didn’t do taxes by April 15. He did taxes on it.

Mom, though, she’s another story. In my 51 years on Earth, I don’t recall running late a single time when she handled the stopwatch. The Bowles clan has made many a frenetic dash to be somewhere on time. But, without fail, it was due to distracted children or a father.

Like a lot of kids, I inherited a parental trait and exacerbated it. It’s not uncommon for me to show up a half hour before an event. Or, literally, I’ll stand at a door and gaze at my wristwatch, waiting for the second hand to hit the appointed time before I knock. I am, as clinical psychologists would put it, pathetic.

Of course, that makes me even more of an insufferable ass. If someone is running 15 minutes late (to an event, not to hang out) and does not give me a heads up, I’m pissed. If they are 30 minutes late, I’m gone.

So it was with great interest that I stumbled upon this study about the “punctuality challenged,” which perhaps was the researcher’s way of not offending readers. That’s like calling the dead metabolically challenged.

Still, I gotta say, I’ve never seen a more accurate study, which concluded that about 10% of Americans are chronically punctual, 20% are perpetually tardy, and 70% are “punctual but frenzied” to get to an appointment: They make it on time, but nearly break their necks doing so.

The study found the following about prompt people, all fitting mom to a tee:

1. THEY’RE REALISTIC THINKERS.

Punctual people know how long things take. Chronically late people, however, engage in what the study  calls “magical thinking.”

“If once, 10 years ago, they made it to work in 20 minutes, they believe that’s how long it should take,” the study says. “They forget about the 99% of the times that took 30 minutes.”

2. THEY GIVE THEMSELVES BUFFER TIME.
Punctual people are usually early, says the research. “Being late makes them stressed out and they don’t like feeling rushed,” according to the study. “Late people get stressed out from being late, too, but they don’t strive to be early; they tend to time things to the minute.”

For a 9 a.m. meeting, for example, a punctual person would try to arrive by 8:45 a.m. or 8:50 a.m., allowing enough time for an unexpected delay, such as traffic or a full parking garage. A punctual person reviews directions, checks traffic reports before leaving, and some will even drive to a new location the day before to understand the route. To be punctual, plan to arrive early, the study said.

3. THEY’RE ORGANIZED.
The study says that 45% of everything we do on a daily basis is automatic: “Our lives are filled with habits—from the way you brush teeth to how you get dressed and leave for work,” the report says, adding that they’re necessary. “If we didn’t do things automatically, it would take us forever to get through our day.”

The habits of people who are always on time are highly structured. They analyze their daily activities, set routines, and stick to them on regular basis. Chronically late people, however, don’t have structure and often fall on the attention deficit disorder spectrum, says the study.

4. THEY’RE COMFORTABLE WITH DOWNTIME.

Being punctual often means getting to meeting or an appointment early. Punctual people use the extra five or 10 minutes as a chance to catch up on emails, read over notes, or simply enjoy the solitude.

Chronically late people, however, hate downtime. They enjoy the thrill of that last-minute sprint to the finish line and crave stimulation. To be more comfortable with downtime, bring along something to fill those spare moments. “Knowing that you have something to occupy your time will help,” the report said.

Mom never needs something to occupy her time. Though a voracious reader, mom will sit, Buddha-like, until it’s time. Unless she were at home, where her Southern belle lilt was unmistakable. “Let’s git goin’; it’s taaahm.”

Speaking of which, I better file this. It’s due in 17 hours.