Author Archives: Scott Bowles

All the President’s Molesters

‘I have 28 girls coming. … Donald, this is supposed to be a party with VIPs. You’re telling me it’s you and Epstein?’ — George Houraney, a Florida-based businessman, to Trump back in 1992 about an event he had organized at the future president’s request, according to the New York Times.

The exclusive “calendar girl” party at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, which he’d purchased seven years earlier, was apparently even more exclusive than Houraney had expected when he put it together — Jeffrey Epstein, Trump and the women. That’s it.

“I said, ‘Look, Donald, I know Jeff really well, [and] I can’t have him going after younger girls,’” the party planner recalled. “He said, ‘Look I’m putting my name on this. I wouldn’t put my name on it and have a scandal.’ ”

After the party, Trump spoke with New York Magazine. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

‘Nuff said about President Pederast. At least until we pivot from ‘alleged victims’ to ‘alleged rapist.’ Instead, let’s find closure in something far less sleazy, Factslaps:

Thomas Jefferson believed the Constitution should expire every 19 years and be replaced with a new one more suitable for the current generation.
A grizzly bear has to eat almost 20,000 calories a day.
The U.S. joined Syria and Nicaragua as the only nations that aren’t part of the Paris agreement to limit carbon emissions.
Pluto never made a full revolution around the sun while it was still considered a planet.

There are only 3 countries in the world that don’t offer paid maternity leave:Suriname, Papua New Guinea and the United States.
An Octopus doesn’t have 8 arms, but 6 arms and 2 legs.

The last war chief of the Crow Tribe captured 50 horses from the Germans in World War II.
Cockroaches can make group decisions. When 50 cockroaches are presented with 3 shelters that can only house 40, they’ll split evenly into two groups and leave one shelter empty.
The Eiffel Tower was built for the 1889 Paris Exposition and was not intended to be permanent.
The U.S. spends $500 million annually on military marching bands. That’s more than Ethiopia’s total military expenditure in 2015.
More than $80 of every $100 of wealth created in 2017 went to the richest 1%.

A Hero Born Every Minute

Image result for green shirt guy laughing

If the past two weeks have proven anything, it’s that the best stories, those that remind us that people are inherently good, rarely come from Washington. This story came from Tuscon:

Sometimes circumstances are so strange, so upsetting, and so truly bizarre that if you don’t laugh at them, you might just cry.

Perhaps that was the mindset Alex Kack, the man seen wearing a green shirt and laughing uncontrollably at a Tucson, Arizona, City Council meeting on Tuesday.

Mid-meeting, a man and a woman (both wearing Trump hats) protested the recent decision to put a “Sanctuary City” measure on the November ballot, which could potentially make Tucson the state’s first official immigrant-friendly city.

As the woman spouted her anti-immigration rhetoric and held up a protest sign, Kack was spotted laughing his ass off.

The two protesters were met with loud booing from fellow meeting attendees, and after the woman yelled, “You’re in direct violation of the oath you took to the United States constitution,” someone replied, “You’re in direct violation of being a jackass.”

Many people began to leave during the woman’s speech, and eventually a police officer escorted her and the man outside. But all the while Kack, now known online as “Green Shirt Guy,” remained seated in the front row and literally bobbed up and down from laughing so hard.

After Tucson reporter Nick VinZant shared the clip on Twitter, #GreenShirtGuy started to trend, and it wasn’t long before Kack revealed himself as the beloved City Council meeting hero.

Turns out Kack is a 28-year-old field organizer for Peoples Defense Initiative. He works specifically with Tucson Families Free and Together on the sanctuary city measure, so he was at the meeting with colleagues from the campaign to support it.

“I think it’s a bold statement of morality that our community needs to make, given our history with the larger sanctuary movement and the community that lives here it’s something that we need to pass,” Kack told Mashable in an email. “Families deserve to be together and all people deserve the right to feel safe.”

As for Kack’s seemingly endless cackle, he explained he was laughing at “Just how absurd it really all was.”

“Who has the time in their day to come into a public space just to spread hatred and negativity? Like honestly what happened that made them so ridiculous and hateful?” Kack said.

Since the footage of his laughter went viral, Kack described the online response as “absolutely surreal.”

Patton Oswalt tweeted about it. “#GreenShirtGuy is @Alex_Kack. And I love him,” Oswalt wrote. “I love you @Alex_Kack. Please promise me you will befriend Banjo Man, walk the earth together, and get into adventures.”

It should be noted that Kack has reportedly participated in several Arizona political campaigns before, and also taken part in political comedy shows, like this one called “Laughing Liberally.” You have to consider the possibility that his very liberal laughter at the meeting could have been for show, but Twitter users were in the mood for a hero, and Kack delivered.

Now that we have the #GreenShirtGuy mystery solved, perhaps Kack can team up with this similarly iconic Banjo Dude next meeting.

I have no idea who Banjo Dude is. Or Banjo Man. Mashable apparently doesn’t know the definition of “iconic.” But if he can play the way Kack can laugh at the absurd, I’d pay to see both on tour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNM_AJapiyM