Monthly Archives: September 2024

Open Letter to A Puppy: Teddy


Dear Teddy,

This is my first letter to you, but I trust it will find you. I know it will. 

You’ve been on my mind. That’s probably because I recently visited and met with a mini-you. Eight weeks and female, just as you were to be when I heard about you a decade and a half ago.

But you were the last to leave the litter, and when the choice came to get my money back or get you, well, you know what I chose. And I’d do it a million times over.

You were my first puppy in reconstruction. And flipping through memories, I can see it in various stages through recollections of my Golden.

Here is you in that tiny studio above a commercial garage in Westwood. Here is you, at the dog park. Here is you, diving into the pool in Encino. Here is you, trying to keep a squeak toy from Esme by spinning her clockwise, then counterclockwise.

Here is you, holding Esme’s entire head in your mouth. Here is you, offering a ball to Aunt Lessie. Here is you, getting a kiss from Dad.

Here is you.

I tear up when I think about you. And then the right song will hit, and I am a wreck.

Jadie and Charlie worry when I look sad. I wish I could let them know it’s the most beautiful sadness there is; filled, top to toe, in love.

Because you will always be more than my reconstruction pup. You will always be my second chance, my hand up, my bootstrap incarnate.

Thank you for the rescue. 

Now, if you’re wondering how I know this letter will reach you, it’s because I know exactly where you live, young man:

Theodore Ruxpin Bowles, ℅ my ❤️.

WTFAnon


Trumpers love conspiracy theories, so here’s one: He set it up himself.

Consider: The first attempt got the least publicity of any presidential assassination attempt in history, thanks to Joe Biden’s departure. He was never shot at—nor close to any danger (kind of like Vietnam). Now, he’ll get stepped-up security.

Call it WTFAnon. Some questions:

  • Timing: Both assassination attempts occurred right when Trump’s legal and political troubles were intensifying. The second, in particular, came just as attention was shifting to his struggles in new Midwest polls.
  • Security Failures: The fact that the same security lapses occurred twice—at his Pennsylvania rally and at his Florida golf course—despite Secret Service warnings after the first incident, seems more like a narrative device than a genuine oversight.
  • The Shooter’s Profile: Routh, a man with a history of political flip-flopping and bizarre behavior, fits the bill for a patsy. His social media rants and support for both Ukraine and Trump’s opponents make for the perfect, confusing villain, allowing Trump to play the victim without credible opposition.

Whether it’s true is besides the point. America has always had a flair for conspiracies. Whether it’s faked moon landings, secret Illuminati cabals, or 9/11 inside-job theories, the allure of hidden truths runs deep in the national psyche.

So, what makes Trump’s assassination attempt any different? It plays into the same narrative—an omnipresent shadow enemy out to thwart the populist hero, reinforcing the idea that the powerful will stop at nothing to silence him.

In this age of disinformation and viral narratives, it’s no surprise these stories catch fire. When the facts don’t add up, or when too many coincidences pile on, people naturally look for alternative explanations.

The second attempt, particularly with its bizarre shooter and suspicious timing, leaves plenty of room for speculation. And in a world where every event is immediately spun into a meme or a theory, this could be just the latest plot twist in the reality show of American politics.

It’s the kind of tale that makes for perfect talk radio fodder—just enough paranoia to stir up the base, but so far-fetched that mainstream outlets will ignore it, deepening the belief in a cover-up. Whether it’s true or not, it fits too neatly into the story Trump has been telling his followers for years: they’re out to get him, and by extension, them.

So, was the second attempt on Trump’s life real, or was it just another chapter in America’s obsession with seeing conspiracy where there’s chaos?

Like all good theories, it doesn’t really matter—the point is it keeps the story going.