Just as Japan is making thoughtful monster movies, America is still pitching various themes on the same theme: Wrestlemania on Film.
Sometimes it’s in space (“Star Wars”), in cars (“Fast & Furious”) or a suit (“John Wick”). This time it’s at the zoo!
As “Godzilla Minus One” still streams on Netflix, Warner Bros has answered with its latest flushable action flick, “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire.” It’s a shameless cash grab, with no regard for storytelling, character or even an original twist for kaiju flicks.
The plot is nonexistent, serving only to string together a series of overblown fight scenes. Godzilla and Kong duke it out in a CGI spectacle that quickly becomes as tiresome as the 386th lap of the Indy 500.
The dialogue is laughably bad. In one scene, a scientist shouts, “Do you have any idea how to stop a 300-foot lizard and a giant ape? Because I’m all ears!” Try catching “Minus One;” they have great ideas. Alexander Skarsgård and Millie Bobby Brown are wasted in roles that give them nothing to do but react to the carnage around them.
Mothra’s appearance is a travesty, a gratuitous addition that adds nothing to the story but WB merchandising hopes. Her design looks like a reject from a children’s cartoon, completely out of place in the film’s already incoherent aesthetic. The CGI is inconsistent, with Mothra looking particularly unconvincing and out of scale compared to other monsters.
The blatant product placements are obnoxious. Do we really need to see Kong chugging a Monster energy drink and Godzilla stomping through a city plastered with Samsung billboards?
The special effects are impressive but hollow, lacking any real sense of wonder or awe. It’s all style and no substance. The climactic battle in Hong Kong is a neon-lit mess, more concerned with looking cool than making any narrative sense.
In an era where monster movies can be thoughtful and engaging, “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” is a disappointing reminder of Hollywood’s worst tendencies. Save your time and watch something with heart and brains instead.
