I have it on good source that, pretty soon, you may be able to call an Uber for Fido.

That source is my multiverse self. Which apparently lives somewhere in London.

I discovered this Brit doppelgänger more than a year ago. His name is also S. Bowles. But Sam. He must have thought putting a period after the ”s” but before the ”b” gave him a unique gmail address, or even a working one.

It does not, Sam. It comes to me.

Don’t feel bad; I hear at least once a week from companies with urgent sbowles notices for Seth or Stephanie or Sarah. I had one ”Sami,” though that may have been a typo. And Steven Bowles, you asshole, at least use an original pseudonym on your conservative slackwit sites.

But Sam, you sound legit. And I get a frightening amount of personal information in mis-sent emails. Like your penchant for McDonald’s late at night. Or that time you moved. I feel a little creepy looking. But it’s tough not to read an email with a receipt not only attached, but printed in the body of the text. Just sayin,’ it pays to copy edit. Where was I?

Taxis for terriers! That picture above arrived in my email last week, and I nearly had a carpet wee wee. This would be a godsend to stranded pet owners — and pets. And I know a half-dozen people who would leap, LEAP! at the chance to be a canine cabbie. My heart sank a little when I discovered it’s an England-only kennel club.

But that may mean it’s headed here. We love our grandparents’ stuff: the war medals, the shouty politics, Monty Python. And your love of pups. Bless your filthy Western European hearts, you’ll let Sir Barksdale lick his balls and off your warm cafe plate, in that order.

But share a ride with fur and slobber? I think I have that comfort spread covered.

So too, would America, I suspect. Our numbers are too large to ignore — particularly as domestic pets crutch us through a still-bubbling pandemic.

And as Uber has proven: If there’s profit in it, there’s motivation for it.

So bring on the dandered cavalry. Sam, I hope you have a pup — and a valid email. And Chuck & Jadie, tell you what: If and when it gets here, not only is the first ride on me, you can have both window seats.